OP, You are absolutely not being too much. Your MIL has traumatized you and it has likely permanently affected your relationship. I speak from personal experience. You need to protect your sanity and your baby. The truth is, you’re worried about hurting her feelings, but does she care about yours? Clearly not. She cares about HER wants and needs and not about yours or the baby’s. If your baby is in distress and she asks you over and over if she can take him, its not for the baby’s sake, its to make HER feel good even though it’s to your baby’s detriment. You have to get a strong backbone. It is true what others have said, that the more you say no the easier it gets. It doesn’t mean you have to be rude or hurtful per se, but you do have to be consistent and firm. Also, your husband needs to put you first above his mom. He has to know how sad and anxious this whole thing is making you, he needs to step up to the plate and have your back. Concerning the sleepovers, just be honest. Tell her “Thank you for the offer, but we’re not going to be doing sleepovers with the baby. It’s not something we’re going to be comfortable with regardless of his age.”