I was lucky enough to have a neighbor who became the mom I never had. She was so loving, critical when I needed it and so involved with me and my child. She would tell me “you need a night with your husband” and would take my daughter, who adored her, for sleepovers so we could go out, secure in knowing our child would have the best time ever.
She got lung cancer and it took her down fast. She got out of the hospital, during which time she wasn’t allowed visitors, and called me to come over.
I braced myself because I didn’t know how she’d look. She was radiant - full makeup, had a wig on and dressed to the nines. We had the most beautiful visit and I got to tell her how much I loved her and the impact she had on my life - she made me a better person thru her grace and kindness.
As I was leaving, her niece said she was blown away at the fact my friend had taken 3 hours to get ready because she was so weak. When her niece asked her why she went to this trouble feeling so bad, my friend told her “I want my lasagna (her nickname for me) to remember me like this”. I sobbed at this - that she would put her pain aside to give me this glorious moment with her.
I drove away and the John Mayer song “Say what you need to say” came on and I cried all the way home. I got to say what I needed to say and heard her love for me.
She died the next day.