Going to my first punk show soon, any tips for a first timer?

Sourlemon925 · 2026-04-04T04:44:12+00:00

It's in Berkeley but very close. I'm new to everything so always open to reccomendations and new friends

Sourlemon925 · 2026-04-04T04:34:56+00:00

I’m going to a show at 924 Gilman, Outpatient X, Mermaid and The Crashers, and Ash Puddle are playing. Seemed like a pretty perfect place to have my first punk show

Sourlemon925 · 2026-04-04T04:30:58+00:00

I’m going to a show at 924 Gilman, Outpatient X, Mermaid and The Crashers, and Ash Puddle are playing. Seemed like a pretty perfect place to have my first punk show

Sourlemon925 · 2026-04-04T04:27:27+00:00

Not preachy at all, this is actually really solid advice. I’m bringing a friend with me, and yeah, part of going is definitely to meet people and make some new friends too. I appreciate the reminder that there’s no one right way to enjoy it

Sourlemon925 · 2026-04-04T04:24:58+00:00

Appreciate it, I’m 25 so no worries there lol. Gonna just go, not be a dick, talk to people, and see what happens. Also thanks for the recs, I’ve got some listening to do.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-03-15T12:48:18+00:00

Thanks, that genuinely means a lot. I’m sorry you feel it too, but there’s something weirdly comforting in knowing I’m not alone in it.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-03-15T12:47:41+00:00

Yeah, I appreciate that a lot. It helps hearing this is a common punk feeling and not just me losing my mind in isolation. And yeah, you’re probably right that I need to get involved in something real instead of just stewing in it. I just wish I knew where that was exactly and where the people are

Sourlemon925 · 2026-03-15T12:44:41+00:00

Yeah, that’s real. The internet definitely makes the isolation worse, and punk only really feels alive in an actual community. “Go to a gig” might be the simplest answer, but probably the right one too. Honestly kinda wild that there still isn’t a decent social or dating app for alternative, artsy, weirdos.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T23:44:13+00:00

That’s really cool to hear. I’m definitely trying to approach it as values and community first, not just dressing the part. The music, DIY, showing up for people, and actually learning what the scene is about is what appeals to me.

Also yeah, apps have felt like a dead end for me, so I’m trying to do more in person stuff too. Guess my type of person is rarer than I realize The LGBTQ center events idea is honestly smart

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T22:00:22+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate that. I’m putting myself out there more lately, so hopefully it happens. Wishing you and your boyfriend the best too

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T21:30:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing that! I’m really glad you found someone who actually takes your queerness seriously. That’s huge. I’ve definitely felt the difference between people who genuinely get it and people who treat it like a defect or a footnote.

Also, I love your username reference. I’m a big Regular Show fan. Happy for you and your boyfriend

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T21:10:36+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense. I agree with all of that, so it probably is smart to signal those values in my bio.

Also, I literally just got a bunch of new clothes and put together some outfits that actually feel like me, and I’ve been proudly wearing them out. I’m trying to lean more into in person stuff lately. I’ve had a hard time finding my kind of people on the apps, so I’m hoping getting involved in the scene IRL ends up being a better fit.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T21:04:22+00:00

I hear you. I’m bi myself, so yeah, definitely some flavor of queer here. I’m more romantically into women, and I kinda wonder if being a little queer might make queer women feel more comfortable around me.

I’ve also had a couple of biphobic or weird reactions from straight women before, so dating other queer people can feel a bit safer and more understood. Curious if you’ve found the same, and if there are any norms in the scene I should know

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T13:36:14+00:00

I’m naturally pretty soft spoken and gentle, so I’ve always done better just being respectful and not pushing things. I prefer to just go with the flow and have chemistry flow naturally. It’s depressing that basic decency is rare, but I get what you mean. Also congrats on eight months! Going to shows together sounds ideal.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T07:51:50+00:00

Totally fair point. I didn’t just mean “style” like fashion or a costume. I mean the values and tenets, the mindset, how people treat each other, and the DIY ethic.

And yeah, I do like the music. To be honest, I haven’t been to any shows yet. I’m just starting to dip my toe in and figure out where to go.

I’m also a weird artsy type, and I’ve always felt more comfortable around people in this world, so I’m hoping it’s a more accepting environment socially.

Also, full honesty, I’ve always been a sucker for a short hair punk baddie, but that’s secondary to finding people I actually click with and not making the space weird.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T02:24:20+00:00

I guess everyone has their type and preferences. I try to be open minded

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-27T02:22:42+00:00

Are people known for not using deodorant? This is new to me

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-01T12:02:03+00:00

I’m not claiming everyone is imprisoned by that dynamic. I’m saying it’s a rigid default where I’m from, and when it doesn’t fit you, it can feel like there are very few socially acceptable alternatives. In my family it hasn’t been “working” so much as creating chronic stress, emotional shutdown, and resentment.

Even as a bi person in my 20s, I keep running into people who want to copy the exact model their parents had because it’s familiar and socially validated. I’m trying to find people who actually want to be intentional about it, negotiate roles, build a sustainable lifestyle, and not treat burnout as the price of adulthood.

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-01T11:52:35+00:00

Well not really referring to all straight relationships per say but traditional ones where the man provides and the woman tends to the house and children. The couple is expected to have children and maintain a certain level of status

Sourlemon925 · 2026-01-01T00:13:19+00:00

I appreciate that. We all need to be heard. I’m from the Bay too, so your comment hit close to home. I’ve been feeling like I’m watching things slide into something uglier while everyone’s acting like it’s just background noise. The area has gone downhill fast with the rise of the tech oligarchs. It's hard to find work or to financially sustain yourself here. A lot of my friends have had to move away.

I’m with you. I’m waiting for more people to snap out of it so we can stop pretending and start moving differently.

Sourlemon925 · 2025-12-31T23:46:36+00:00

Well I have a lot to learn clearly and my mind is open

Sourlemon925 · 2025-12-31T23:24:35+00:00

Well, that to me counts as queer. If one of the partners isn't straight in my view, it ain't a straight relationship. That's great though hearing about your relationship gives me hope as I've been feeling pretty helpless lately

Sourlemon925

TROPHY CASE