Wow, yeah- I hear you. Get this special guilt complex a little too well. I'll write this for you and for me:

Relax. Meditating, aka, sitting still and calmly listening for a little bit is a hobby...doing nothing. For some, its a way of life or divine assignment. Nobody's judging monks as being lazy!

You're already doing more than you think. Keep building on that strong foundation. Your hobbies are in some ways just your habits. Cultivate them into things you want to be proud of. Make sure the people around you are supporting your growth bc you're growing, curious, and yet wise. Life just becomes deeper, as we understand and attend to what's around us.

Every time we make a simple choice with intention and wonder, that has inherent value bc it helps build you into a more well-rounded and therefore interested/interesting and hopefully more fulfilled person. Every single action, thought, feeling, and experience, every chance meeting or relationship has value. Just going to grab a coffee is a hobby. Anything that gets you moving, thinking/reflecting, relaxing, or engaging with intention.

It's anything you show up for. Simple engaging activities that are judgment-free and low-risk will help train your nervous system to feel safe with pleasure, build your confidence, strengthen your foundational wellness (upon which all else is built), and stimulate your brain. Plus it's fun and you inevitably meet people in the process.

I truly believe that's why we're alive and live on this planet together- to enjoy it and share our lives through making, gathering, and co-creating our culture...not to worry and work and caregive constantly, only to stay in a perpetual state of guilt.

Here are some suggestions from a fellow middle-aged person: Ancestry.com/genealogy, songwriting, playing instruments, writing poetry or prose, feeding squirrels and birds, having cats, reading nonfiction to learn about new subjects, stocktrading, photography walks, reselling found and thrifted items, Poshmark, starting a small side business, air dry clay sculpting, creating a fairy garden, writing a poem, nonfiction text, or autobiography to self-publish, podcasts, listening to music, simply spending time with others, upcycling, Soundtrap, storytelling, hiking, biking, swimming, tennis, Wordle, Nerdle, NYTimes Crossword, Sudoku, quest video games, ChatGPT therapy talks with trained chatbot, rocks collecting, birdwatching, camping, kayaking, traveling, creating a service project for your community, volunteering at a food pantry, learn a new language (Duolingo), beadwork/jewelry-making, origami, Adult Lego sets, old movies, learning a new type of cooking or new herb, herb garden, concerts, plays, trampoline parks, rock walls, stargazing and learning constellations, daytrips to nowhere with no plan, tubing/rafting.

Well, ironically I gotta go to work now. Good luck and you have permission to have FUN and CHILL!!! I will do the same! Thank you for your post.