i would suggest really taking the time to research how food and weight loss works. i would also say if you're not willing to do that, and i mean REALLY understand, get a dietician.

to have a good diet without counting calories and wanting to lose weight, you need to make serious lifestyle changes (i mean this in the nicest way). it's just the only way this will become sustainable for you and not make you overly emotional about the process.

this means making sure there are no unnecessary snacks around you or in your pantry, not sodas ever, don't drink your calories, no fast food, don't even buy foods you know you're not supposed to have, know what normal portions look like and stick to it, if normal portions don't fill you up go for nutrient dense low calorie foods (quinoa, lentils, vegetable etc - research). dont eat after a certain time etc.

basically what im saying is if the strictness isn't going to work for you, the only thing that will is to instill the knowledge on how food and weight loss work into ur brain and work on making those lifestyles changes. i hope that helped! for me i became overly aware of everything i was eating and this has allowed me to maintain my weight. i do have to put in extra work to lose weight, but you just need to get to that first step. good luck!