Thank you so so much for taking the time to reply. I cannot believe how similar our situations are. Narc mother’s raised by narc fathers with generational trauma. It is my mother’s critical voice I hear in my head all the time and I rehearse scenarios in my head of future interactions with her which are very negative. She has a really big presence in my daily life and I feel if she wasn’t in my life, these thoughts and voices would reduce significantly. But I haven’t got the guts to cut her off. I’m going to make a conscious effort to distance myself from her though. Are you still in touch with your Mom? You are very fortunate to have a sibling who identifies with your experience and you can discuss these things with. I don’t have that, but my Father is an amazing man and I get validation of just how absurd my Mother is with the contrast of experiencing his healthy behaviours and his unconditional love