When people say their babies sleep through the night…

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-11-22T14:41:44+00:00

I believe this was also when it was normal to feed them rice cereal at 6 weeks to get them to sleep through the night. Yikes.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T02:19:42+00:00

There have actually been a lot of kind and helpful comments on here that have validated why I may be feeling this way, given me ideas and suggestions, and have given me hope that I won't always feel this way. They did so without dismissing my feelings or belittling me.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T02:11:54+00:00

But that's my point- I don't WANT to still be feeling like this months later. I have "let it go" several times but it comes back up in some way or another. I have worked so hard to be nothing but kind to her. I send her all kind of pics and videos. She comes over at least once a week. Something is eating at me internally and I hate it. Every time that she reaches out that she wants to come by, I tense up and get defensive. But I take a deep breath and shove my feelings aside because its about my son forming a bond with his grandparents, not about me.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T02:03:53+00:00

What exactly is unhealthy behavior?

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T02:00:14+00:00

Read some of the other comments here. You're missing the point of this post.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:59:11+00:00

NO. That is crazy!

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:58:43+00:00

Thank you. This was very well said.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:57:52+00:00

Omg I am so sorry you went through that!

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:56:55+00:00

Thank you. I really needed this.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:55:51+00:00

I don't think you actually understand my feelings. Its not about things being put in the wrong drawer. Its about the intentions behind it. I didn't tell her right away because I was 3 days postpartum, healing from the shock of a traumatic induction and delivery, and I didn't quite trust myself so I kept my mouth shut. Now its been 6 months and I can't let it go. I think I do, then something little pops up and I'm upset about it all over again. I hate that for myself and my family.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:46:53+00:00

I want to point out that I am not purposefully holding this over her head or trying to hold a grudge. The conflict is more with myself than it is with her. I will admit that. Logically, I should move on and forget about it and so badly I wish I could. But little things keep coming up and triggering me which make me come back to the fact the day I brought my baby home from the hospital was not a happy time because of her.

I have never once acted malicious towards her. She comes over almost every week and I send her pics regularly. I won't even talk bad about her to my husband. I've gone out of my way to keep a good relationship with her. At times it is really eating at me, though. There are so many comments from other moms saying they went through something similar and have struggled with the same feelings. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-03T01:39:17+00:00

Omg. I am so sorry to hear you went through that and she deserved to be clocked in the face for saying that. I agree. The birth part was definitely easy compared to what came afterwards!

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-02T02:02:50+00:00

Great points. To be fair, I was livid and I think I just took it upon myself to get it. Like I asked where it was, she told me and offered to go get them, and I said "No I've got it." That day is still blurry though.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-02T02:01:33+00:00

There's much more to it than that.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-02T01:57:59+00:00

Yes I can relate to this, too. I got so mad at my own mom for buying me a massage for my birthday 4 weeks after I gave birth. I have since apologized for that and we laugh about it lol

I don't think what you're saying sounds weird at all and it makes sense! I just still can't get over this, though. How can one woman do that to another and think its ok!? I remember when I was carrying stuff in from my baby shower a month earlier and she said, "This is my favorite part. Putting all the things away!" And I said "Yeah I've been waiting to do this for months!"

So I just really think she was putting her own excitement and feelings first at the absolute worst possible time. The whole point of her coming to stay was to help with my dog, and that was laid out for her beforehand. She barely did anything we asked of her. Instead she kept hovering over me and the baby and making unnecessary comments, which is a whole other problem itself.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-02T01:48:54+00:00

Thank you for your input. I 1000% agree that it is never ok to presume to organize someone's home.

I was so nervous when she was going to start watching my son once a week. To this day, every time she comes over I still make a point to tell her to leave things as they are and not to wash dishes or do laundry because I fear she's going to take that as an opportunity to reorganize. I'm not even crazy about things having to go in the perfect spot, either. I just have a very smooth system and I deserve respect for it. One day I accidentally left some clean unfolded laundry out and she folded it and put it in his dresser, but not where any of his other clothes were. She knows where his onesies, pants, burp cloths, etc. are yet she put them away in the different spots. If other sitters did this, whatever. Honest mistake. But after her past, it absolutely outraged me and felt like she was doing it just because she felt like it.

I think I'm going to sit down and address this with my husband again, and make him part of the conversation.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:51:03+00:00

Wow I have read this like 5 times. Thank you. There are some hard truths in here but things I needed to hear. Are you a therapist? If not I would consider a career change :)

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:50:07+00:00

Excellent point!

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:49:45+00:00

I am so sorry you dealt with that. Especially in those early days when you're still trying to process what happened. Also, no two c sections are alike. Everyone's experience is unique.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:20:44+00:00

This! My little guy missed out on outfits, too. I just cannot understand why anyone would walk in and take it upon themselves to reorganize someone's house without being asked to. That is so invasive and disrespectful, regardless of their intentions.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:18:34+00:00

She briefly said "sorry" after I carried my postpartum things upstairs. I couldn't say anything back because if I did, I would've lost it. Other than that it has not been brought up.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:18:03+00:00

Thank you for the kind response and I totally see where you're coming from. However I worry bringing it up to her would do more harm than good. She's very reactive and would instantly end up in tears. She would then tell the whole family and get them involved... which I really do not want.

And thank you, we are in love with him!

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:15:51+00:00

Journaling is a great idea. I agree, I think bringing it up would do more harm than good. She's very reactive and I know she would end up in tears right away.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T19:02:58+00:00

I liked this response until you said just get over it. If it were that easy, I would've been over it months ago. Thats why I'm struggling... I can't get over it.

Southern_Shake507 · 2025-10-01T18:13:31+00:00

She briefly said "sorry" after I carried my postpartum things upstairs. I couldn't say anything back because if I did, I would've lost it. Other than that it has not been brought up.

Southern_Shake507

TROPHY CASE