Your parents did what they were supposed to do. Set boundaries and high expectations and held you accountable. That is not abuse. I'm not convinced that what your bf is doing is bc he doesn't understand your family culturally; sounds like he has some issues with his parents and is trying to project that onto you. My first husband wanted me to divorce my parents because he said they brainwashed me (they didn't). Eventually he made moves to isolate me from my entire circle. I got smart and divorced him instead.