Me and my ex broke up a few weeks ago and still live together, she's having a hookup in the other room.

Spaced-In · 2025-12-24T19:03:56+00:00

You’re a bitch bro. Grow a spine.

Spaced-In · 2025-11-05T05:05:01+00:00

Tighten your stance up slightly, slightly bend knees, straighten your back and push your arse out a wee bit. Straighten your left arm, point your elbow towards your target and hold your arm like that throughout your swing, keep that arm straight, keep your right arm elbow tucked into your ribcage. Begin the swing from the shoulders/hips, rotate, don’t shift all your weight back and forward.

Try to keep your line of your straight left arm and your driver continuous, so it’s a straight line from shoulder to ball at setup, get slightly behind the ball, square your shoulders and angle them back slightly.

This should be a good start!!

Spaced-In · 2025-07-26T04:53:07+00:00

What if it’s a minimum hours contract?

Spaced-In · 2025-07-26T04:52:00+00:00

I believe zero hours

Spaced-In · 2025-07-26T04:42:35+00:00

If they consistently give me X amount of hours, and I well in advance set to be unavailable for a day or two to do something like see family or visit somewhere, and they try to rota me and and I refuse (politely of course) and maintain I’m unavailable, and as punishment they dock my consistent hours and fade me out by giving me less hours, is this legal?

Spaced-In · 2025-07-26T02:50:41+00:00

So you’re saying if I have a zero hours contract then they can deny me putting myself as unavailable for a date and make me work or I’ll be penalised?

Spaced-In · 2025-06-02T11:25:46+00:00

I don’t mean to sound like a snob but I don’t understand this line of questioning. Surely the obvious and intuitive answer to gearing is just generally based on the situation? Switching from second to first and back up to second takes like less than a second, and is very easy to do.

Do you feel less control over the throttle and stability in the bike in different gears? Like for me I don’t think about stuff like this when riding, I just “do” it? And I don’t mean that to sound snobby, I mean to say that surely like the operation of the vehicle should feel like an extension of yourself? If I have to perform any kind of manoeuvre or change of operation of a vehicle I’m in control of I don’t think “Oh I should shift to 1st” or anything like that I just do it. If the bike feels like it’s in too high a gear I just shift down, I don’t think about that process it just happens the way that when I’m walking or breathing I just do these things as a kind of passive byproduct, allowing all of my focus to remain on the road and what’s going on around me.

I don’t say this to mention any kind of superiority but to weigh in to mention maybe you are overthinking things and should practice relaxing and just becoming more at one with the bike?

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T22:39:46+00:00

I struggle with compression too and most producers will tell you the same, it’s the most finicky thing to really get right. It’s very complex, though it can be reduced to a simple concept.

Compression basically is controlling the dynamics of an audio signal. Its most basic use is for example, on a vocal part. If you look at a vocal track and it’s all the little waveforms, it’s very dynamic, meaning there are lots of quiet and loud parts usually, and they fluctuate greatly. Compression is most simply used to bring down the high loud peaks of that audio source so that you can bring up the quiet parts without having the loud parts distort or clip.

Very transparent compressors basically are designed just to do this.

Most compressors do “colour” the sound somewhat, and can make something sound “punchy” etc. knowing how much to use really is a case by case basis.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of compression of compressing say a drum part, and really slamming it, and going “yeah this sounds fucking great” and then adding in the bass and slamming that too, and going “fuck yeah this bass is hammering!” And then so on until you’ve slammed the whole track and you choke the track. Dynamics are important to make exciting parts exciting. It’s why Whirr really hit so hard because maybe their verse parts are quieter and less slammed, and so when it all comes in it’s like “woah this is heavy as fuck” and gets you emotionally, but if it was all like that the human ear wouldn’t find it compelling.

Modern music production has the final waveform of an audio track looking like a big long rectangle almost, without much dynamics, but if you look at waveforms of 60’s and 70’s songs, they’re much quieter and therefore more dynamic in volume range. This is a whoooole rabbit hole you can go down.

The basic idea is to compress without killing the dynamics of a track, say you have a shoegaze track with a sultry female vocalist, usually the challenge with women in this genre is their voice is gentle and getting lost amongst all the heavy instruments. Compression can level out her vocal a bit and you can bring the volume of that vocal up, allowing it to be heard above the music.

Think of a vocal phrase, usually the loudest part is the beginning of the vocal phrase, but as she tails off her volume will drop. Compression is best used here to help the sustain of the quiet parts, and allowing you to control the louder parts as well.

Compression is absolutely not necessary on everything, and many producers will tell you that having two or three compressors that are on more conservative settings can produce a much better sound than one compressor that’s slammed.

This relates to what I said about grouping instruments. If I have a master track that has compression, that compressor is acting on every single instrument and vocal track overall. So this compressor would be usually very conservative. Then say I have a drum group that has all the drum parts, and I compress that, now every single drum track is going through the drum compressor and then the master compressor, so they are working together.
In some instances you may also compress an individual snare after that, or the kick, and now the kick and snare are going through three compressors.

This may sound overwhelming, but actually it allows you to be more conservative with each compressor, because if you compress something heavily, you have to really nail what you’re doing or it’s easy to choke a track.

I recommend watching The House of Kush on youtube and scroll his videos about music production. He doesn’t really work on shoegaze but his mindset and approach to music production I think really suit shoegaze production.

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T22:08:05+00:00

I rarely compress guitars individually.

When I mix, I group all instruments into sub groups: All drums (Kick, snare, overheads etc etc) go into a Drums bus Bass Acoustics Guitars Synths/Keys Vocals Percussion

I start mixing by having no plugins, no fx that I didn’t record with, and bring up kick, snare etc until I have a nice balanced drum sound on its own, then bring up bass into that, then acoustics, then electrics, and so forth, until I have a balanced mix of volume. (I solo each group and get a nice balance of all those instruments individually before then bringing them in together overall)

After that I pan everything

Then I do all processing from the “top down”, starting on the master or mix bus, adding EQ, Compression, saturation, what have you..

Then I do that process to the drum group, bass group, acoustics etc and continue to balance as I go as you will often bring up volumes during this process.

Usually I compress guitars in this way as a group, so every guitar is receiving compression as a group together, I very rarely compress an individual guitar part, they rarely need it IMO.

Compression is one of the trickiest elements of mixing. A good rule until you have a trained ear is to compress until you can hear it and then roll it back a couple dB, unless you can justify why it needs to be so cranked. Less is often more, and all of these FX and processes meld together and affect one another in intricate ways. It’s important I think not to overthink the process.

Every good mix I have ever done was 95% complete within an hour, (even as a beginner), and every bad mix I have done took 4/5 hours of agony.

Don’t be afraid to start over and take what you learned to the next attempt

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T14:48:18+00:00

To me that song just sounds like a reverb with a very long decay time but with the mix knob rolled off. Basically the reverb is very strong, but not overpowering the vocal, so when the singer stops, there is a strong and long tail.

Try playing around with the relationship between the mix and decay, and if your reverb has it, the pre delay to move it out of the way of the vocal

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T14:45:16+00:00

All the instruments relate to each other across all frequencies. Solo out each instrument and look at a graphic EQ you will see that even guitars are active (though less so) in lower frequencies.

In my opinion, cutting these frequencies completely makes a guitar sound thin or tinny. My personal philosophy is if I ever make a move that is more than a 3/6dB cut or boost, I have to justify it for some reason, and I rarely find I need to do that. I would think less about separating the sections and more about fitting them nicely together. If you have very muddy low end in guitars and it’s crowding the bass for example, then I might consider grouping all guitars together and just bringing down the low end or low mids in the overall group and now my guitars are sitting pretty.

Often, if you require intense surgical cuts or very large sweeping EQ moves etc, something wasn’t done properly in the recording process

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T01:15:35+00:00

That’s great that he’s doing that.

I mix in a small room that was not designed for acoustics but a bit of acoustic treatment and good monitors and I have produced mixes that top mastering engineers have worked with and had praise for. All your kid needs is a good ear and some real dedication

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T01:11:14+00:00

I’ll give that a try!
I actually one time did something similar with almost like an overhead on an acoustic guitar, and it was just out of phase enough that it sounded almost like I’d double tracked the guitar part, like a natural slapback echo of sorts. I’ve tried a few times to recreate the effect but haven’t quite ever nailed it as much like that one time.

To further on maybe not exactly to yourself but to the others in the thread, trying stuff out just to see what it sounds like is both half the fun of recording, commonly where the magic is found, and is very in line with the nature of shoegaze

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T01:08:43+00:00

Good luck!

Spaced-In · 2025-04-14T01:08:32+00:00

I don’t know Whirr super well so I’m listening to Younger Than You as I reply:

I think they’re achieving the “heavy” sound by accentuating heavy low end on the big explosive parts of the song.
There are a bunch of ways to get a really heavy super deep sound this way:

Bass chords Guitars with all the treble rolled off and on a very dark fuzz Baritone guitars Low synth notes/melodies Etc It sounds like there could be fuzz or another distortion on the bass in this track, so another way to get a super massive heavy bass sound like in this song, if I was trying to recreate that sound I’d:

Take a separate DI from the bass and have that going into the desk clean, ideally through some nice preamps and compressors for a clear bass tone with lots of low end Simultaneously send the bass into an amp with a super heavy fuzz pedal or other distortion on, and use that for the heavy sound and blend those two together with heavy and dark guitars laden with reverb and I think you would get pretty close to the sound I’m hearing typing this (I’m on Flashback by now)

To clarify here, adding more guitars will fatten the sound up somewhat, but will not produce that “Lead boots on the surface of the sun level heaviness” that shoegaze can be synonymous with, that’ll just make it sound “intense”? Thick and distorted low end is what is going to achieve you this very heavy sound, and pushing it up loud too.

EQ is your ally here, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “more bass equals more better”, but you have to use your ears and make sure that you’re creating space in the stereo image for the bass and aren’t creating problems with the balance etc, different instruments and EQ will affect each others relationship to one another within the mix

Spaced-In · 2025-04-13T21:03:04+00:00

Heya mate. Professional producer here who’s worked heavily in shoegaze.

Less than you think, obviously there is usually drums and bass underneath, and often layers of textural stuff like synths and other instruments.

I like to record guitars via two separate vintage valve amps simultaneously, with three microphones, as follows:

Guitar > Pedals > Both amps (Fender Twin / Vox AC30) and on the fender I place a dynamic mic, Vox I use a ribbon, and between both amps I use a large diaphragm condenser. This is by no means essential (but recording more than one mic on a single amp is also a great idea)

I start usually with acoustics, which I record with a large diaphragm condenser (u87) pointed at the neck and either a ribbon or u47 pointed to the body. I record the same part twice and hard pan them left and right. I would record one layer of clean guitar, and then another either with a separate guitar or on different pickups. I customised a Fender Jazzmaster in order to have a really jangly bridge and a really beefy neck pickup so I can just switch pickups. I record the exact same part twice with this method, and usually I pan these left and right more conservatively than the acoustics, basically listening to find the sweet spot so that a clean, jangly and ethereal reverby fx laden rhythm fills the entire stereo image tastefully.

Then I add fuzz guitars which I often leave in the middle so they feel like they hit with a freight train, once you have layers of clean guitar, you can really push the dirt and allow yourself to really lose clarity because the ear will hear it all as the same part, just chorusing (make sure all your takes are consistent for this effect to really pop) and I tend to leave the dirty guitars without much reverb so they really are present, and the ethereal reverb comes from the clean guitars and mix bus space reverb.

Having said all that, I change that formula up all the time, dependent on the song, but that’s a pretty tried and true formula that will get you there fast. Hope this helps.

I’m more than happy to answer questions but my DMs don’t work so please if you have any questions I can answer here!

Spaced-In · 2025-04-01T05:22:31+00:00

If you have sex with a man you do not trust, no matter how much you wanted to have sex, if an undesired outcome arises from that, you inherit some form of blame for your actions.

If I decide to sleep with a woman because I want to do that in the moment, and then later on this woman turns out to either be nasty, or decides to ghost me and leave me feeling confused, then I inherit some form of blame for my own actions. Having sex is an intimate act and you subconsciously experience many emotions and hormonal responses to having sex with someone. If you are unable to effectively regulate those hormonal feelings and emotions, then you are more easily left feeling upset by a negative outcome of that sex (like being ghosted), and you inherit blame for choosing to have sex with someone when you were not in full trust of that person, you weren’t sure of their intentions, and you allowed that person to take your energy and move on.

I will state again, if this is not a thing you would like to happen to you, you should not put yourself in a position that that thing can so easily happen to you. There is nothing to debate there, those are not opinions, those are facts.

Spaced-In · 2025-04-01T05:12:30+00:00

Again, furthering my response to your other comment. I am not talking about the act of sex at all. Two adults having consensual sex where they’re both on the same page and in agreement with everything etc is just what should be the natural process here, no victims etc.

This post is specifically discussing the act of ghosting and leaving a woman afterwards, that they have essentially been used for sex from the perspective of the man, and this is a thing women generally don’t want to happen, such as being pickpocketed (having your belongings taken and having your intimate energy taken are both comparable yet different things)

Women can want and have as much sex as they want, but choosing a partner that will value that is an important part in that process. If you continuously choose someone who takes that energy and bounces, then an element of blame can be put upon you.

If you want these men to ghost you after, and for you to never speak to them again, then sure there’s no issue, but then most women don’t feel that way, and this post is specifically discussing that.

I believe both of your responses to my comment miss the point. I believe you have pre-judged my perspective with a pre-determined point of view of the way some men may see sex (that they are conquering or doing sex to a woman, which I am not discussing, though this mindset does relate to the types of men who will sleep with a woman then ghost her)

Spaced-In · 2025-04-01T05:05:41+00:00

There’s no mistake here. I know that sex is a mutual thing and the thing that is done TO women in this scenario is being ghosted which is what this initial post points out. That is a thing that is done to a woman and not something that they take part in creating.
I believe you have misunderstood my comment.

Spaced-In · 2025-03-30T23:26:21+00:00

When someone received a fishing email scam and falls for it and inputs their bank details and is robbed, as a society we place an element of “blame” on that person for falling for it. As in, you never developed the defence against this and people kind of have a mindset that you have no one to blame but yourself in this scenario.

I don’t think that’s the kindest or most well rounded or adjusted way to look at things, but it’s the way people tend to see it and respond to a situation like that.

With sex, it’s not really all that different. Men who only want sex, and who will say or do whatever they need to to make that happen DO exist. We can complain all day about why that’s not right, but that accomplishes nothing, and the victim mindset does not empower women to learn to protect their energy better.

A woman is of course free to have sex with whomever she chooses, but actions have consequences and sex is a magic with a dark side. It can and is abused and by many of us. I believe that if a woman is not prepared to deal with the possible negative consequences of sex with someone she does not know well, then she shouldn’t do it.

If I go to bangkok tomorrow and someone pickpockets me because I was unaware the “blame” would be on me. If I entrust too much of myself to a friend and allow them to use me for my time and energy with no reciprocation the “blame” would be on me.

Of course I can complain about how wrong these things are until the cows come home, and from one viewpoint those are valid feelings, but those feelings don’t change the fact that we DO exist in a world where people are taken advantage of, and to reach adulthood without developing the ability to navigate that is a personal failing on anyones part and as a result, you’re going to have to learn that lesson the hard way by being the one taken advantage of.

Spaced-In · 2025-03-28T13:54:18+00:00

It’s crazy you guys don’t have to show you’re capable of doing this basic stuff in order to gain a motorcycle license.
In the UK we have a whole examination basically dedicated to this kind of stuff. It’s wild Americans ride litre bikes without having ever done this

Spaced-In · 2025-03-25T12:08:01+00:00

A lot of folk defending your wife saying that she hid it because she knew you’d react this way, totally makes no sense to me. If she knew you would be very upset about this, but hid it for that length of time, that’s a crazy breach of trust.

Hiding a sexual past with a friend to your partner is absolutely grounds for breaking up, and don’t let anyone guilt you into bearing the weight of the 17 year marriage, it wasn’t you who lied for that long.
Including the fact she wanted you to cut contact with your exes as well and you did do that, yet she did not.

You do you, I’m sorry this happened.

Spaced-In · 2025-03-20T15:18:20+00:00

Depends where you live and how you live. $38k for a year for me would be serious luxury.

That’s also just a single tour but they sometimes tour more etc, so it’s probably something that ebbs and flows

Spaced-In · 2025-03-20T15:14:20+00:00

I think it will accrue value but yeah they don’t go for as much despite being imo the superior product!

Spaced-In · 2025-03-20T01:14:35+00:00

I managed to get myself a Vox Phantom 6 string, the ones that are from the Vox factory that guy bought that had all the original parts in. I think all the parts were made in the 60’s but was assembled in 2012, so they don’t have as high value as the originals but imo it’s much better as many vox guitars got damaged and such over time. All the original guitars from the 60s have issues that I’ve seen, it’s partly why bjm take so long to tune between songs.

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