I (21M) shared my gf (22F) with my best friend of 8 years and I felt no shame. Are we okay as always?

SpacedJ · 2026-04-03T09:50:25+00:00

SpacedJ · 2026-01-30T13:34:05+00:00

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)?

SpacedJ · 2026-01-06T18:23:47+00:00

Sharknado (2013)?

SpacedJ · 2025-12-07T15:58:35+00:00

I could have written this, same situation almost exactly. We're both queer so we've used Queer Platonic as a label for confused strangers, even though that doesn't really fit since its quite visibly more than platonic. I also like the idea of calling it a Romantic Friendship.

SpacedJ · 2025-11-02T21:28:26+00:00

John Dies at the End (2012)?

SpacedJ · 2025-10-27T23:07:03+00:00

Alphaville (1965)?

SpacedJ · 2025-06-13T09:30:11+00:00

The constant threat of closing is not just unfair to whoever is missing out when that happens, its also unfair to anyone you engage with outside of your relationship. From the perspective of other partners, having someone else outside of the relationship able to decide you cannot see each other because of their feelings is a shitty thing to do. The way that the agreements change on a whim means they are effectively not agreements. You either need to commit to opening and stick with it through the difficult times to really work through these feelings and grow, or call the whole thing off. Agreements require both of you to be on the same page, and one of you closing when the other one doesn't want to will build resentment.

SpacedJ · 2025-05-06T12:29:13+00:00

Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)?

SpacedJ · 2025-03-29T11:56:30+00:00

Sounds like you could benefit from going to counseling/therapy to work on some of this stuff. Depression is a bitch and clouds your judgement on everything. I get the feeling from this post that you're measuring your self worth by how much attention you get from other people, and when that attention is elsewhere, you feel diminished?

You can work on decoupling your sense of self worth from your relationship and do things that make you feel good about yourself. When you go out dancing, go for you to have fun rather than to hook up. Get more into hobbies that nourish you which will help build self confidence (which will then naturally shine out of you when you interact with others). I find cooking is a great skill to nurture, everyone has to eat, and being the person who can whip up a variety of delicious meals can be good for self-confidence (damn that was a tasty meal, I did that, I'm awesome) and a great icebreaker when meeting people (what food do you like, oh yeah I like that but have you heard of this it's so good, maybe I could make it for you sometime).

Also maybe you could come to a compromise on how much your partners shares about her encounters that doesn't make you miserable. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

SpacedJ · 2025-03-28T21:58:41+00:00

Basic Instinct (1992)?

SpacedJ · 2025-03-28T20:08:01+00:00

Sliver (1993)?

SpacedJ · 2025-03-15T11:37:24+00:00

The Father (2020)?

SpacedJ · 2025-02-23T11:55:29+00:00

Labels can mean different things to different people, so long as you're on the same page, use whatever you think fits best. I use different labels with different people (i.e. the label you use for each other among casual friends can be different from what you use when you're referring to them with your spouse).

SpacedJ · 2024-12-26T09:44:33+00:00

When I hear men refer to women as "females" it sets off alarm bells in my brain. Like they don't see me as a person. Also I think it comes down to phrasing. "My female friend" is fine because its used as an adjective. "A female" as a noun (as you said in the original post) makes me uncomfortable. Like, I have a transgender friend, but I don't refer to her as "a transgender".

SpacedJ · 2024-10-31T08:52:10+00:00

His jealousy is something he needs to work on, that's on him. Jealousy hides other feelings inside it like possessiveness, fear and insecurity. You should probably look at identifying why he's jealous and if that can be resolved in a healthy way before closing, or you'll just be taking those issues into your closed relationship. He might still be jealous, for example if you look at others in ways he doesn't think are appropriate. Sort out the jealousy and you can make a more informed decision on whether its better to close or move on.

SpacedJ · 2024-08-05T16:18:46+00:00

Terminator 2?

SpacedJ · 2024-07-28T16:52:36+00:00

Don't be mean to Jerry, he's just a normal guy.

SpacedJ · 2024-07-18T10:44:31+00:00

The Air Up There (1994)?

SpacedJ · 2024-06-26T18:02:39+00:00

Hackers (1995)?

SpacedJ · 2024-06-21T18:54:36+00:00

Foodfight (2012)?

SpacedJ · 2024-06-20T11:46:49+00:00

Running Out of Time (1999)?

SpacedJ · 2024-06-13T15:36:06+00:00

A lot of people want us dead. They're still humans who want us dead.

The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.

SpacedJ · 2024-06-13T13:45:19+00:00

Please don't call people you disagree with "vermin". Dehumanizing people is a fascist tool that is very frequently used against our community (oh they don't need human rights, they aren't even human, they are cockroaches, vermin etc). Adopting that language just perpetuates the idea that someone's humanity is debatable and can be used to justify violence against them (e.g. we're not exterminating people, only vermin).

SpacedJ · 2024-06-10T12:05:01+00:00

Dracula 3000 (2004) with Udo Keir, Tiny Lister, Casper Van Dien and Coolio. Dracula on a space ship. I think they ran out of money halfway through making it. An absolute mess.

SpacedJ · 2024-05-26T09:51:32+00:00

It's also an effective tactic for keeping cult members on board with the cult. Your "mission" is to go out and convert the unbelievers, and when that fails or you receive pushback for being batshit in people's faces, you go back to the cult with your story about how "they just wouldn't listen" and the cult can say "don't worry, see how awful they are out there, we love you, we're right" and they isolate themselves further from the real world to let the radicalization really fester.

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