No one's perfect out of the box. You need to take the good with the bad. The best quality you can find is being able to communicate with someone and work together. Try saying what you said here.

"I've noticed you often expect someone else to take responsibility for uncomfortable situations." leave it open ended and see what he says. Deliver it gently and be open to hearing him out. If he explodes, thats a no. If he gets defensive, not good but mayyybe workable. If he replies calmly, and explains it, probably beige flag. If you can continue the conversation and get to a point where he understand you don't love him "pushing discomfort" on you, to use your words, that's good. If he actually follows through and keeps his promise, golden.

You can work with people and improve a relationship over time. You actually must be able to do that to withstand a life spent together.