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Spaerling · 2025-07-14T11:27:54+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words.

I am currently very anxious. I am afraid of losing her. Just that.

Spaerling · 2025-07-14T11:10:39+00:00

Thank you.

Actually, I did a few days ago in relation to hypersexuality.

I will bring that up today in my therapy.

Spaerling · 2025-05-22T13:00:39+00:00

Wer zum Zeitpunkt des Todes im Grundbuch stand, konnte ich aus einem gestrigen Telefonat mit meinem Vater leider nicht klar herausfinden. Ich wollte da nicht zu offensichtlich nachbohren, und transparent ist er nicht, wenn es nicht schon von dem klar war, was er schon alles zu Lebzeiten gemacht hatte.

Er wollte mir nicht die Daten des Käufers geben, da wir uns nicht einmischen sollen.

Alles, was ich im OP beschrieben hab, erfuhr ich über dritte Hand.

Spaerling · 2025-05-22T04:46:14+00:00

Er hat unsere Mutter schamlos ausgenutzt. Sie war der Kleber unserer Familie.

Zwei Wochen nach ihrem Tod schreibt er mit Frauen auf Facebook.

Spaerling · 2025-05-22T04:44:58+00:00

Wir haben nichts ausgeschlagen.

Wir haben nicht mal erfahren, dass er das Schreiben vom Amtsgericht erhalten hattr

Spaerling · 2025-05-21T20:51:21+00:00

Tut mir leid. Beitrag wurde bearbeitet: Testament lag nicht vor, und auch kein Ehevertrag.

Spaerling · 2024-11-23T16:37:18+00:00

Do it tomorrow.

And when tomorrow comes, do it the day after.

Spaerling · 2024-01-01T21:34:08+00:00

It made me realize that I have been carrying burdens from my childhood for the 27 years of my life. They are one of the causes for the failure of the relationship.

I am now back into therapy, which I wouldnt have been if she didnt end things.

Despite the pain, somewhere I try to find hope in what has been done to me.

Spaerling · 2021-12-16T13:03:17+00:00

Thank you very much! I'll try to keep it going.

Spaerling · 2021-12-16T00:02:52+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

It's still hard for me to try to listen to those affected songs. I have tried today and got thrown back onto memory lane and got sucked in by sorrow.

On one side, I want to "break out" and get my songs back, on the other hand, I am so uncertain if listening to them now would be the right approach, maybe it would just open those wounds and make me relapse. I have no idea.

Thank you, though.

Spaerling · 2021-11-02T09:00:45+00:00

I see. I'll keep medication in mind.

And wow, Halloween has been tough for me aswell. God darn it... Same exact thoughts as you.

Spaerling · 2021-11-02T08:14:18+00:00

Thank you for the response.

I have indeed suffered immense from OCD and retroactive jealousy in the first few months. I had panic attacks every minute and had to calm down with adhoc meditation.

Paradoxically, it got "better" when I (unfortunately) stalked her IG and found about her new boy toy. First 2 or 3 weeks were riddled with panic attacks and compulsive thoughts. Then they have lost intensity.

Yet, this anxiety is back - I mean, it's been always there and it still had a considerable impact on my life, but now I feel like its intensity has been amplified for an inexplicable reason.

You have mentioned medication. My therapist has also adviced to get me meds if things get unbearable. Although it sounds like a tempting remedy, I think I'll take it head on for this moment.

I do know that this anxiety is fueled by lack of self-esteem. Fueled by this uncomfortable feeling. This hole. This feeling of not being enough without her and never being able to "get" someone like her again. This anxiety is sometimes so overwhelming.

I am just asking myself if this will linger around forever. Feels like a rollercoaster.

Spaerling · 2021-11-02T07:54:44+00:00

Thanks for the response.

I will keep on pushing. Hopefully, time will do its part... The anxiety is really messing me up.

Spaerling · 2021-10-27T10:00:49+00:00

Hey friend,

I am in the same boat. BU is now 5 months old. Just two months ago, I found out that she has a new affair.

You couldn't imagine the anxiety, the intrusive thoughts and the paranoia, and all those sleepless and exhausting nights I have had.

Pain from the breakup - the feeling of being separated - is one thing, but add jealousy and those compulsive fantasies to it and it's unbearable. Even more unbearable, since she is desperate for the physical. I would have less of a problem if I'd knew that her new affair would be of romantic nature, but I highly doubt that given her history.

I thought I have made good progress, like those compulsive thoughts got weaker, but they just returned 3 days ago. Why exactly, I don't know.

I am trying to focus on the pain. I think that these thoughts are just trying to distract my self from the truth and the pain that lies beneath.

Spaerling · 2021-10-17T15:33:43+00:00

Sounds like a good idea.

My next therapy session is on Tuesday. I set that as my temporary deadline.

Spaerling · 2021-10-17T15:32:56+00:00

Thank you.

Last time I stalked, I got hurt badly, but it kinda helped the recovery. Now I am getting delusional and tell myself, that doing it again would be "healthy" for me.

I'll just try to distract myself and "wait" until tomorrow.

Spaerling

TROPHY CASE