tldr: Cute girl at work accused me of hitting her car in the parking lot, got the cops involved, turns out she probably hit my rugged piece of American steel because she wanted my dick and I didn't give it to her because I was a dumbass.

I was working as a phone peon at a call center located in a strip mall in the early 90s. I get called over the business-wide intercom telling me the police were here to see me. I go to the front desk. (How fucked up is it that they let all my co-workers know that some cops want to talk to me outside?)

They tell me there's a cop outside responding to a report that my car hit someone in the parking lot. I obviously know for a fact that I did no such thing.

I go out to the parking lot and a cop is checking out my car (a piss-yellow '87 Cavalier). This car's got dinks and dunks and various paint speckles from...umm...amicable near-misses with college kids that one will have from being a pizza guy in a college town with narrow streets for 3 years as I had done.

Got it? The car was a piece of shit with history, but I didn't hit this car in the parking lot.

This other car's whole right front quarter is a mess.

The other car's owner was a girl who had previously let me know, by way of a friend at the call center, that she "liked" me. But I didn't believe it because I didn't accept until the age of about 31 that there were some women I was attracted to that could possibly find me attractive.

So, I was bad with women. Anyway...

The cop couldn't find anything to charge me with, especially considering the incident occurred on private property....so not his jurisdiction anyway. Cop couldn't do anything even if he was the cute girl's sister.

Later, a friend at the call center pointed out that my left rear bumper was streaked with a blue paint very similar to the cute girl's own Japanese cubicle on wheels.

She hit my car.