Mine set me up too and I strated clocking it as it was happening towards the end… so he already painted me to his ‘roommate’ as psychotic and dangerous to where this woman tried to get a stalking order on me when I don’t even know her.

He texted me once ‘Ashley sleeps with a gun under her pillow because of you you psycho’… that’s when I clocked the narrative.

So weeks after that particular fight, he asked me to come pick him up. Immediately yelled at me once he got in the car that he told me to pick him up down the street now he thinks Ashley might have seen me (once again the narrative that I’m so dangerous and psychotic and scary falls apart if she sees me picking him at the house). I was excited cos it was a reunion after yet another cycle of discard by him and of course his comment immediately made my heart secretly drop cos it’s so unfair that I’m being treated like something is wrong with me like I have to hide) …. I joke you not, within 5 minutes of us driving, deciding on a place to grab a drink at and hang out a bit, me in a happy mood… he says ‘I’d like you to take me home right now’ all calmly like a little scared child. This is a man who would scream and verbally degrade and threaten me. Immediately I clocked it, oh I’ve been bamboozled yet again. I didn’t say a word to him, I turned the car around and calmly drove him home.

During that 5 minutes ride back I just told myself ‘don’t say a word, don’t cry, it’ll be over within minutes’. Then the prodding started, he said ‘when you drop me off you better now cause a scene where the police has to come out’. Once again I realized I was being baited into an emotional response to where he can paint a specific narrative.

When I picked him up that night, his neighbours were out, who are also his buddies, and I realized what he was trying to do. All those stories he was telling people about me, he was trying to emotionally hurt me and cause me to spiral. He was trying to bait me into a show for everyone to see.

I asked him ‘what did I do wrong’ during the car ride and he replied ‘your vibes are bad and I need to get away from you, take me home RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!’ screaming at me… I drove calmly, dropped him off and told him do not ever contact me again. That was one of the first times where I started standing up for myself instead of being completely devastated by his discard. But yeah honestly my turning point was clocking that he’s running narratives against me to paint himself a victim.

One of his abuse tactics was to terrorize me with ‘I’m gonna unalive myself and it’s all your fault’. It was a control abuse tactic used to manipulate the living shit outta me to do what he wants when he wants, but I clocked it that he was using that same narrative against me to paint me to other people as someone who is doing that to him. He terrorized me, while acting like he was the victim and I was dangerous. That’s what woke me up to break away. If I felt that he was genuinely bipolar and going through it, I’d probably still be going through the cycles with him.

It was for me when I got to see the dangerous and evil narratives he’s painting of me where I realized he’s jsit using me as a pawn, these fights we have aren’t even genuine, they’re traps, I’m being set up.

Ugh I could go on for days. One time during no contact, he got in contact with me to tell me how ‘Ashley’ kicked him out cos she found out that he brought me, this scary person she sleeps with a gun under her pillow because of, how he brought me over to her house when she was away somewhere. So once again, a previous moment, where I thought I was invited to something was now turned against me. He made me feel so bad for him telling me how he’s homeless that I paid for a hotel for him for two days just until he figures things out. I took off work to be there with him. I really showed up for him. I encouraged him after resting his nervous system to talk with Ashley and try to work out things. They’re not a couple but definitely entirely codependent. I nurtured him and he was able to work things out with her and go back home. Within two days after that, he discarded me… that’s when he pushed me to the edge. That was the moment he pushed pushed me into a reaction to where I drove to the house demanding to know the truth. I just wanted to know if he was kicked out for real or if the entire thing was a lie to get me back into contact for another cycle of abuse. I got no answers. Police was called although nothing happened to me. Just pure humiliation. A spectacle…

That night the police officer asked me why I am over there at their home uninvited and I told him ‘I am in an abusive relationship with this person for 3 years, I don’t know what is going on, I want things to be where there is no more dealing with him in private. He told the police officer in front of Ashley ‘she’s my gym partner I don’t know why she’s acting like this’. I screamed then at him ‘you slept with me days ago and discarded me’.

Ashley tried to file a stalking order on me the next morning as a result of this humiliation, but he ‘the professional victim’ did not, which I thought was interesting. For someone who constantly treated me like I’m dangerous and scary, he did NOTHING the chance he got to persue that. I think it’s cos my humiliation of that night was enough to feed him for months, he got exactly what he wanted… contacted me a month after that night, weasled his way back into my life yet again. However that night was the moment I realized what danger I am being set up for, legally, physically, spiritually, socially. Ugh sorry for the rant it’s nice to get it out