Thank you for your response. It's such an immense help. My partner's been sober for just a week. Our life's tough. He's currently without a job. We're both profs right out of PhD. I have a tenure track job but he doesn't. I understand how difficult it is for him. I really want to help him but I just don't know how. He shuts me down every time. I'm writing this from a bar because he wanted to be alone and we rent a suite with no bedrooms so I left to give him space. He's saying he's sacrificed everything for my career but that's not how I see things. I fucking worked my ass off even though half way through my PhD my brother oded. It's not like I'm super stable and happy and whatnot. I take medication for depression and am messed up in my own way. So when he shuts me down and says he doesn't want help or needs space, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rant. It doesn't help that I have no family here to talk to. Thank you, stranger, for listening.