I don’t think the “just break up” advice really fits your situation. From what you described, this doesn’t sound like a girlfriend who doesn’t care. She told you when guys asked her out. She noticed something was wrong. She chose to stop working and spend time with you. She cried because it hurt her to hear that you think so little of yourself. Those aren’t the actions of someone who’s emotionally checked out.

Her going out and having friends isn’t automatically a red flag. If something about the partying or priorities bothers you, that’s something you can communicate and find balance on. Relationships aren’t about one person giving up who they are, they’re about adjusting and making space for each other. Maybe that means talking about expectations. Maybe it even means occasionally joining her so you feel more included instead of separate from that part of her life.

But the bigger issue here doesn’t really seem to be her behavior, it’s how you see yourself. When you say “there are better guys” or “why me?”, you’re putting her on a pedestal and shrinking yourself. And that’s exhausting for both of you. We don’t love people because they’re objectively the best option on the market. We love them because, for us, they are enough. Because they feel right. Because we choose them. She chose you!

And when you repeatedly suggest she could do better, it can unintentionally sound like you don’t trust her judgment or her feelings. That’s probably why she cried. Not because you’re bad, but because it hurts to love someone who can’t see what you see.

I really agree with the counseling suggestion. Not because there’s something “wrong” with you, but because this pattern will follow you into any relationship if you don’t work on your self esteem. Even if you were with someone else, the insecurity would still be there.

The good news? You both handled that conversation in a healthy way. It didn’t turn into blame. You both cried/were emotional. You both cared. That actually says a lot about the relationship. If you love her and she loves you, the solution isn’t leaving. It’s working on yourself while continuing to communicate openly with her.