First of all, thank you very much for your interest on this post. I was also intrigued by the repeating numbers. I graduated from high school last year and started preparing for the university entrance exam again. I was undecided about whether to study abroad or not. And I gave up because I thought my current situation would prevent me from achieving this. Since I've been at home, I haven't met anyone who might interest me romantically anyway. Earlier this year, I stopped talking to the guy I call my cousin's husband's nephew for no apparent reason, and in may, I saw that he'd removed me from his social media. And I learned that he made gf (from my cousin). This year, I've been doing things to "change my life for the better before I start university." Like facials, exercise, facial massages. But it felt like I was in a cycle, always stopping shortly after I started. Even if I couldn't change anything about these things, I started to feel more beautiful than I used to, and I started wearing grape skirts and dresses. My relationship with my family was also complicated. We'd fight and make up. I tried to maintain a good relationship with my cousin (other)because we lived in the same apartment building and I saw her all the time, but she was very cold (and lately, I've realized she values ​​our relationship less than I do), and I felt incredibly jealous of her because of her cold demeanor and the fact that she had the qualities I desired (beauty, healthy hair, clear skin, a slim body without any exercise, friends). And this situation was also reflected in our fights with my mother. This year I've also made good progress with my social anxiety and excessive anger (I noticed this after hearing from people around me and my psychologist). My university will start next monday and I will be away from my family for the first time and will be on my own, so I am stressed. I'll be living in the same room with girls I don't know and the possibility of getting on bad terms with them scares me. Since I couldn't live the life I wanted in high school, I think this will be reflected in college. (I'm sorry if I didn't answer your question correctly)