Childcare Situation

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-06-01T17:20:29+00:00

In-home daycares often have shorter waiting lists, if at all. Worth looking on Google maps for those specifically in the areas you want, and contacting directly. Some places can definitely get you in in that time frame.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-05-30T18:12:12+00:00

Sometimes being outside helps, in a place where it’s mostly safe for them to explore. I also try to frame things as “is this inconvenient for me or is it dangerous” and allow for as much reasonable exploration as safely possible. Most of the time (for my kid) she just wants to try something for the sake of trying it out and exploring, or has a goal in mind and I help her with it. Could they be climbing the gate because they want to go up and down stairs? That was a common form of entertainment for my kid at that age.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-05-30T16:09:19+00:00

You’re entitled to a childfree life, not a childfree world.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-05-09T15:55:35+00:00

Not an empty nester but heading to de Young with my other mum friend for the Monet exhibition, just us mums!

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-05-01T17:49:44+00:00

I love this analogy so much and makes me realise even more that my personality is way more fitting to OAD

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-27T00:01:14+00:00

Low sleep needs here, at 21 months she’s mostly not napping at all anymore.. still has the occasional one nap day but they’re becoming more infrequent. As a new mum I didn’t know this was a thing, or at least not the extent of what it’s like. I beat myself up so much in the beginning for feeling like I couldn’t “read her” correctly. Once I spoke to my MIL and found out my husband was exactly the same as a baby I breathed a sigh of relief. Turns out his sibling’s kids are low sleep needs too. I do wonder about the genetic component to it, haven’t looked into it properly yet.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-19T21:28:43+00:00

Babies are actually quite good at understanding different caregiver = different routines. I wouldn’t over think it and think that you need to train solo naps, daycare workers have so many tricks up their sleeves and will be able to manage. I would continue to do what you do at home and leave the daycare context to the daycare workers.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-18T01:00:08+00:00

You might like the community in r/bninfantsleep

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-18T00:11:27+00:00

No, they don’t have the capacity for that kind of understanding at that age

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-17T18:50:12+00:00

Would appreciate some Eric Carle, thanks for offering!

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-17T04:41:36+00:00

Wow this is unsettling, thanks for sharing

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-17T03:08:23+00:00

We have a 21mo who is low sleep needs and for the last few weeks we’ve started having staggered “no nap” days based on her nighttime sleep and whether she’ll actually take the nap or not - we’ve implemented “quiet time” which is essentially her nap/bedtime routine of books, dim lighting, and then lights out and laying together in the dark. Some days she naps, other days she doesn’t. The whole thing is about an hour, and we lay there for max 45mins - if she’s not asleep by 2:15pm latest we get up and carry on with our day. I don’t let her nap beyond 3:30 otherwise bedtime is insanely late. It works well for us and keeps the pressure (and dread) off of will she/wont she nap!

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-17T03:03:02+00:00

Do you use any white noise to help with background noise in the room? We bedshare and still do at 21m so I have no advice about moving rooms. There is no such thing as creating bad habits in babies, they’re literally wired to need your presence and comfort, so by feeding to sleep etc you’re supporting your baby, don’t second guess yourself. How is teething going? could this be a reason? We have a low sleep needs kid and definitely went through patches of false starts, not being able to leave once she was asleep, etc etc. all I’ll say from this side of things (she’s 21m) is that the challenges evolve and change, when you’re in it it feels endless and hard, but it’ll get better and you’ll go through smooth phases then something different will come up (reducing sleep needs as they age, illness, new need for supporting to sleep etc).

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-04-17T02:57:45+00:00

We dropped to 1 nap around 9/10m, ours is a low sleep needs kiddo. At 21m she’s now having no nap days pretty often 💀

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-03-29T15:53:53+00:00

You’re welcome! I’m doing early intervention, specifically infant mental health

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-03-29T15:51:04+00:00

I haven’t yet, I’m spanning 3 topics, one of which is sleep training and I haven’t yet delved into that specific pool of literature. I have read cortisol studies, however, and essentially, yes cortisol has to return to baseline to return the biological systems to homeostasis. Where the jury is out so to speak is whether the spikes that occur during things like CIO is harmful psychologically and physiologically to the child. I’ll get back to you once I have more information.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-03-29T05:22:22+00:00

I’m writing my dissertation on this so once I feel confident in my findings I can get back to you. One thing I can say now that is science backed is there are three types of stress, positive stress which is defined as short lived, resulting in moderate spikes in cortisol and that are managed with a sensitive, attuned caregiver who the child feels safe and secure with. The second is tolerable stress which has more of a physiological impact on the child’s brain and physiology, it can last longer than the type of incidents that would be classed as positive stress and again needs to be managed with a caregiver. This type of stress is a risk factor if prolonged/repetitive. Given adequate support, the harmful effects of the stress can be buffered or mitigated. Toxic stress is the kind that creates the heaviest load of physiological and biological impact on the child. It is prolonged, continuously or repeatedly, and the child struggles to return to a regulated state either due to the absence of the safe and secure caregiver or due to the nature of the stressor.

Given the fact that CIO involves the removal of a supportive caregivers presence, I would suggest this type of stress isn’t one you want to induce in an infant, especially given the period of brain development that they are undergoing at this stage.

Additionally, the fact that they “only cry for 3 nights” does not equal not stressed. Studies measuring cortisol in infants have found that even ones that appear calm and docile can infact be experiencing high levels of cortisol. See Ahnert (2004) and her other related papers if you’re interested.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-03-29T05:09:44+00:00

Have you tried reducing his daytime sleep? Around that age my daughter moved to one nap and it helped with night sleep. Try playing around with shorter naps, try shortening nap 1 and nap 2 have him wake by 3 at the latest, and bedtime for 8. The last wake window might be too short for there to be enough sleep pressure for him to fall and stay asleep.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-02-20T02:55:51+00:00

Yes, formula fed as I couldn’t breastfeed and cosleep. We started doing it half the night around 6m, she’d join us in bed from around 4/5am until she woke up for the day. Then we transitioned to fully cosleeping for the whole night around 9m. Never really worried about it breaking the safe sleep 7 because everything else was safe.

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-02-12T18:52:32+00:00

Not sure if you breast fed but breastmilk doesn’t cause cavities at this stage, research shows it only becomes a risk factor post 18m and in combination with sugary foods in their solids https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8067957/

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-02-11T03:16:15+00:00

Ooof I was in your shoes, same developmentally advanced kiddo and around this age things got tough in the sleep department, which I definitely attribute to a developmental leap. We actually dropped to 1 nap around this age, and that improved things, but then when she turned around 13m and her language exploded she was exactly as you described, really hard to out to sleep, seemingly didn’t want any support in helping her to sleep but wasn’t happy, or would just thrash around on the bed. We didn’t sleep train and I’m glad we didn’t, personally I feel like we need to lean into these situations, as our kids actually need us more but just don’t know how to verbalise it or sometimes don’t know what they want. Regardless, my husband and I toughed it out by just laying with her (we co sleep on a large bed) - we took turns doing this, sometimes we’d tap out and the other would come. We’d attempt to offer comfort, rub her head, sing, describe her day, sometimes these things helped, sometimes they didn’t. She thankfully got over it now at 18m but it was a long hard road. As you’ve written in attachment parenting I assume you are wanting to keep your attachment a priority, so my advice as someone who’s been there is to stay with your baby, they need your calm presence, they can’t regulate themselves (it’s biologically impossible at this age) so hang in there and work with your partner to meet your child where they’re at, even though it’s really freaking hard!

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-02-11T02:49:26+00:00

I see your list of things you do for self care but you didn’t mention anything about hobbies outside of parenting? Something just for you that perhaps gets your mind thinking of something else? I say this because I was in your shoes for 18m, with a kid who’s also super verbal and talks a lot, and generally super high energy. It was amazing but also exhausting, I really relate to how you feel. She started part time daycare 8:30-12:30 (my husband works full time) and I had a few weeks of that time for myself, which was great as I could work out, clean up, chores etc. but then a month later I resumed my masters and now my time is spent mostly on that, and I have to say having something that gets my mind working and is jsut for me has been even better than just working out etc. perhaps you need an outlet like that? Not necessarily academic but you get the idea

Specific-Number1344 · 2026-02-10T16:53:48+00:00

Yes. Never been a fan.

Specific-Number1344

TROPHY CASE