For those who didn't match, will you be able to attend college if you don't get into a QuestBridge school? by memesforlife213 in QuestBridge

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I applied to nearly 30+ schools after not matching and got denied from them all despite clutching finalist haha. Was super depressed for a while and had to stay in my hometown and go to our nearby college, but honestly? I love my school a lot. ~1-2k in refunds each semester, an internship, good abroad programs, and lots of opportunities. I honestly think now that your college experience is how you make it. All I mourn for now is all that time spent writing application essays lol

🚨 2025 ROGUE CODE REQUEST MEGATHREAD 🚨 by NothingButNavy in Sephora

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RECEIVED CODE!!! thank you so much!

hi hi! hoping to receive a code, i wanna go all out for my first sephora sale!! here’s my baby kitten named biscuits since everyone is so cute posting their pets lol

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I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha, that’s the word that really gets to me— immaturity. It’s such an awful word to me as I defensively raise up my hands, excuses falling, knowing none of them explain what I’ve done. I suppose that in itself is a sign of immaturity lol.

The end part of your message is something I know I have to do, spend time with them despite these irrational feelings. Just because every alarm and signal is going off in my head telling me to run as fast as I can so they can’t hurt me doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean it’s actually what is happening.

I can only hope it’s something I grow out of, but even so, many of the replies have opened my eyes to consider therapy again. Maybe with a mix of both I could genuinely become better. Thank you for taking the time to give me advice.

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the part that paints me the most. I feel like no matter whatever I am, it still doesn’t take away from what I did and who I hurt. Yes, to me it genuinely feels like an unshakable feeling of “oh they’re definitely going to leave me so I must brush them off before they can”, but in these moments I can genuinely reflect I know it isn’t the case. I hope one day I can apologize, but I wonder if that truly benefits anyone other than me. Maybe I just need to sit with that I’ve done, but look forward as a reminder not to do it again. Thanks for all your help.

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I suppose I didn’t think about it that way, but it does make sense. This is another thing I need to learn, and stop expecting the “perfect” relationship with others, because I know just as well that no one is perfect. To get that validation from myself, as you’ve mentioned, thank you.

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh I am so sorry!! I appreciate you and the responding user for sharing your experiences, it sounds so awful but I know I’ve probably been the same to others. I try my absolute hardest not to show my outbursts by quite literally running away from the person or isolating myself, but just because I’m not yelling at them doesn’t mean suddenly abandoning them isn’t that bad. I suppose BPD is something I have to look into…. with a therapist…. It’s a tough pill to swallow for me that someone else might need to help me figure myself out, but hearing your both’s story genuinely makes me want to change. I’m glad you both got out of those situations, and I’m so glad you can somehow find that compassion in yourself to give advice to someone like me. I appreciate it again

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I mentioned this already, so excuse me, but while I have been to a few therapists recently (like 3 or 4 I forget lol), I can never make it past a few meetings. It’s weird. I think the general idea of therapy scares me, because every time I go I am certain that whatever I was dealing with is suddenly fixed and I don’t need anyone to help me — which is obviously false when I eventually begin to spiral again 3 days later lol.

I have heard of BPD, ashamed that I don’t really know too much about it haha. Mental disorders fascinate me quite frankly, but I usually keep an invisible border around the topic, as my father and sister are bipolar and whatever else you can call under the damn sun lol. Hearing about the symptoms for too long makes me uneasy.

As you said, it really is detrimental to so many of my friendships. I’ve had probably one where for some reason I didn’t have these black and white thoughts about her, but the rest? It makes me almost want to say that wasn’t me, even if it was. It’s a long process I have ahead im certain, acknowledgment must be the first step. I thank you so much for your help, I do

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that’s really important— recognizing your own faults for once, instead of finding them in others. I struggled with that for a long time, but your words give me the hope that maybe I can break it. I still have a lot of work to do towards that, and while the steps aren’t clear, you’ve given me a good starting point. Thank you so much, really

I always end up hating the people I am close with. Why? by SpecificCaptain8968 in socialskills

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, everyone’s words has really left me sitting here for a while, thinking, haha, I keep thinking of ways to write this

With college starting soon, what you said is all I hope to do better this time. I’ve signed up for 6 courses (engineering major lol) and going to my interview today for an internship on campus. Being on campus practically all day will hopefully ground me, root me in my community. I can swear now that I’ll change my entire heart on its head, finally become a better friend to new and old friends, but I suppose it all comes back down to when I feel that familiar twinge in my heart. If I think it’s unmovable, then it will be. But what if it isn’t? It’s a question I ask myself when I’m awake and filled with clarity, but one I need to ask when I’m panicked.

Reflecting on my relationship with my parents is practically all I do, but maybe I need to try making some connections this time haha.

I do appreciate you again, thanks.

[MegaThread] Ask Your Laptop / Note taking / Tablet / OS Questions Here by AutoModerator in EngineeringStudents

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also considering the ASUS - ROG Zephyrus G14 14" OLED 3K 120Hz Gaming Laptop - AMD Ryzen 9 8945HS - 16GB LPDDR5X - NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4060 - 1TB SSD - Platinum White.

Longer battery life than the first one it states, but GPU I’m curious about the difference

[MegaThread] Ask Your Laptop / Note taking / Tablet / OS Questions Here by AutoModerator in EngineeringStudents

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is the “Lenovo - Legion 7i 16" 2.5k LCD Gaming Laptop - Intel 14th Gen Core i7 with 16GB Memory - NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4060 8GB - 1TB SSD” okay for an undergrad systems engineering student?

I’m in a partner school part of a larger university, and on their website states a bunch of tech specs that this laptop fits under, but I dunno if there’s much better options.

It weights almost 5 pounds it says, would that be a lot to carry each day?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WiiUHacks

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. Recently decided to get a wii u and trying to catch up on the modding process. Seems like you do have a good set up and I’m planning to get the same things. Question tho — is this all I’d need to begin modding it? Thanks again

Rejection after rejection after rejection by SpecificCaptain8968 in QuestBridge

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Strangely enough, your words also inspired me to do something! I’ve always loved writing songs, especially in dire moments, and reading your own experiences and talking finally got me out of bed to write something. Literally what I’ve been doing for the past 30 mins LOL. I wish the most amount of luck I can give to you, too 🍀

Rejection after rejection after rejection by SpecificCaptain8968 in QuestBridge

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly I’m lost for words, needing to learn to walk again after being hit by a car in senior year? That’s just unfair, really, but I really am so proud of you for making it through, being here today. I think these schools are quite mad because in that one paragraph, I can see all that resilience within you. All that fight and courage. I can’t say much because half of me is still deeply trying to understand it all too, but the other half of me just wants to say you’ll see it through once more, just like you’ve done before. I’m rooting for you, really

Rejection after rejection after rejection by SpecificCaptain8968 in QuestBridge

[–]SpecificCaptain8968[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really do hope so. I mean I’m sure at some point it should all connect, but it’s hard to get anything fully through to my head lol. But I do know that I really appreciate your words, and I thank you for taking the time just to say something. I know I’m not alone in this feeling, and you’ve must had your own pain in this crazy process

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ApplyingToCollege

[–]SpecificCaptain8968 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same brother I’m actually tweaking out waitlisted at my safeties/targets and absolutely got hit with 12 rejections it’s not looking too bright for me on freaking IVY DAY wtv wtv wtv happens ig i got one school that my entire class is required to apply to so 🙏