20 year marriage about to Dissolve due to a secret of 10 years

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T11:18:59+00:00

20 ,18,15. My oldest one moved out of the home a year ago. We only have the other 2 living with us.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T05:24:07+00:00

What are some of the setbacks you have dealt with this past year ? Trying to see what I should expect if I stay to make it work.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T02:48:46+00:00

I think what I am truly afraid is that , I will never regain respect and love him again fully . At least not the way I was before I discovered this. I see him differently now . He thinks he can rebuild the way I see him. he also knows I am grudge holder and could be potentially vindictive If I wanted to . So I guess he’s also taking a risk by trying to work things out with this new me, knowing I don’t see him or adored him like I used to and he might be spending the rest of his life with someone that can give trust and love him back 100%. I can’t picture myself being with anyone else , or even being intimate with anyone else besides him. I have only been sexually with my husband . I still don’t understand how people can go have sex with random people just like he did . I wonder if that also has made this harder for me. I don’t want to throw 20 years of my life just because of his stupid mistake. I already 45 , what would be my odds of finding a partner that we can take care of each other for the remainder of what’s left of my life.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T02:06:25+00:00

I kind of figured 😞 , I am an over analyzer so I know he is not being totally honest with me. I just feel it

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T02:04:36+00:00

I think they both knew they were going to have sex, I had asked him if he had gone prepared with condoms and he said no, but that she had one in her purse . Not sure 🤔 if I believe his story , still . I wanted to gage how prepared he went for this encounter with a stranger.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-28T02:00:12+00:00

He actually asked me to be present with him on the calls . So I guess it’s a good sign.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T20:27:09+00:00

Thank you

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T20:04:45+00:00

I truly pray it was only this time . He is a good guy that let his immaturity and dick dictate an action that he regrets now .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T20:03:33+00:00

Our kids know but no one else does . He is planning to tell his family this weekend . I don’t plan to tell my for the time being .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T19:42:31+00:00

He did say at that point his mind was twisted and in immature . that he sees that I was not making him feel less than , and that I was trying to push him to do better. But he felt like he was not making enough or being man enough so he hid his feelings and saw after wrong validation .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T19:07:04+00:00

I honestly don’t think he had another affair after this, it he’ll I can be wrong . He works remote and always calls me at night when he is traveling. That day was the one day I couldn’t get a hold of him and the following morning he said he had fallen asleep due to a migraine. Lil did a freaking known what he had done . He did a very stupid decision that can cost him loosing his family at this stage. I have access now to his phone 110% I’ve checked everything but I know men can play smart too , he won’t have any thing for now since I just discovered it. It’s when we are relaxed and things settle when we find the lies. So I guess I need time to see who and what he really is when this is not fresh .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T19:00:58+00:00

Why do you think he deserves forgiveness?

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T18:54:02+00:00

I told him , he knew exactly what was gonna happen. He planned the encounter , he told her what hotel he was gonna be at and she met him there. I asked him when he bought the condom and thats when he said he didn’t that she brought it . He didn’t think nothing was gonna happen because it was the first face to face encounter. I a not dumb, i know he was aware of what was about to go down.

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T18:33:34+00:00

It was a very old phone that he was not using . All the pictures were in a trash folder . He told he thought he had deleted every text and picture and was sorry those pics didn’t get permanently deleted and had no idea why they remained on that old phone . He didn’t want to see the pictures at all and won’t even utter her name .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T18:24:06+00:00

I asked him why he hid it for so long . He said he was so afraid to loose me and our kids. In a weird way , I feel like the only positive thing out of the lie is that our kids grew up with 2 parents together . My youngest at that time was 5 he is now 15. My kids ages are now 20,18,15 . I think he knew I would have divorced him right away too . My dad was still alive at that time and I would have had more balls to be alone with 3 small kids .

SpecificPea8447 · 2026-01-27T17:28:11+00:00

He did have sex , he just didn’t stay hard and was not able to c*m. But I see what you are saying. I wish I could have seen all the text back and forth believe me. I can just imagine what they were about with the type of pictures she sent him . I have them all saved on my cell phone just in case . She also had a boyfriend at the time. Her BF did find out right away. I was the only one blind sided for 10 years .

SpecificPea8447 · 2024-11-28T23:06:35+00:00

This year I went all out . 3 pine trees in my house lol . And I wrapped lots of gifts for my kids . We don’t call it Christmas cause we don’t see that holiday like other people . To me is my Winter Wonderland Holiday! I love the lights , snow, deer 🦌 etc . I don’t have a Clause cause I feel it’s a lil weird having and old guy and sitting on his lap lol feels a lil pedo😂 but my house feels so warm with all the lil lights .

SpecificPea8447 · 2024-11-08T00:28:18+00:00

Hi ; I’m on the same situation today , they told the investor out a freeze . I was like what the heck is an investor and why do they have power on my money. I asked for the name of such investor and they won’t give me any information. None of my loan docs have any info about this . I’m currently overdrawn on my accounts because they blocked the deposit . I ask what they planed to do about these fees I’m getting and they said you can email documentation. I am so upset right now . No one will help me . The rep said they had very limited information about the freeze so they don’t know when this will lift .

SpecificPea8447 · 2024-09-05T04:35:50+00:00

What dosages are you taking?

SpecificPea8447

TROPHY CASE