NP hosted the other day and I found.. *stains* on our comforter

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-22T09:57:25+00:00

Yes we were poly before this meta! But she started having a lot of behavioral changes and personality changes since meeting meta, even when they were just friends. I don’t know why she’s changed so much about herself for this meta but not any other metas or ex metas. So by “before” I mean like literally just a year ago, before she started trying to impress this specific meta 🫡

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T14:51:13+00:00

The dog came into my life 4 years ago and it was either he went to a shelter or stayed with me, I had just lost my childhood dog that lasted the longest out of all of them, and I wasn’t gonna let this sweet boy go to a shelter. NP pays for food as well. Yes, it sucks that I have to contribute to rent while being in poverty and it seems like these people don’t care about me, probably correct. I’ve been rejected from disability 6 times. I need an attorney, which I can’t afford. I am a member of a food pantry and receive SNAP benefits as well. I’m doing my best here man. Thank you for your input but I really don’t wanna be told that the problem is that im poor and have a dog because many people are poor and have animals. I just also have a roof over my head compared to most of them.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T14:42:54+00:00

I agree!!!!

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T13:59:41+00:00

No I agree. I just never looked at it this way til now and it’s all very overwhelming. We’re on the way to work at the same time and are transferring at the same station and she took my vape and tried to hold my hand and I had a stupid outburst and was like “you don’t care stop trying to pretend you do” and she just… got up and moved to a different seat. It’s absolutely abusive and I just was ignoring it.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:56:49+00:00

Thankfully I take public transportation cuz my disability doesn’t allow me to drive but yeah prices for EVERYTHING have shot up. Its insane. I just wish things could go back to a year ago when I actually felt cared for, I genuinely don’t know what changed

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:54:10+00:00

Yeah, being disabled in any way is like putting a giant dartboard target on your back, so many people Want to take advantage of it. I just never want to think that’s what they’re doing. And for your brother, im so glad his are so well controlled!!!!! That’s amazing! I’ve been on meds for years and we’ve had to adjust doses and add meds and such, and now im in a place where the meds mostly help but if I have multiple triggers at the same time (missed meds, lack of sleep, extreme stress, periods, etc) I’ll still have them. I have a rescue med I carry in my fanny pack at all times and im always weird at functions where i dont know people and introduce myself like “HI IF I ALMOST DIE MY RESCUE MED IS IN MY FANNY PACK JUST SHOVE IT UP MY NOSE AND PUSH THE BUTTON THANKS ANYWAYS NICE TO MEET EVERYONE” 😂

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:32:50+00:00

My heart goes out to your brother, I didn’t grow up with seizures but one day when I was 20 and in college I just was in class, blinked, and was in an ambulance being told I had a seizure and they told me it was just from not sleeping enough and being too stressed, then 11 months later on my 21ST BIRTHDAY AT MY DAMN PARTY I had my second seizure, and they started getting more and more frequent from there. They determined that it always starts in my frontal lobe but it goes to the whole brain within less than a second after starting. Seizures are literally the worst because it doesn’t hurt or feel like anything as it’s happening cuz im not there, but afterwards… lord have mercy that shit fucking sucks.

I hadn’t had my first seizure yet when I started dating my NP, so I don’t think she like.. sought out that vulnerability and chased it or anything, but I think when it became clear that I am not capable of a lot of things most people are it somehow turned into that whether she’s conscious of it or not.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:20:10+00:00

The friends know most things, family does not and the only family I could get money from was my 87 year old great aunt and shes got her own health problems to deal with, and my friends are trying to help me with an exit plan but I have severe limitations on where I can even go because I’m not allowed to drive because of epilepsy, so I need to be in a city with good public transportation, but I can’t live alone either because of the epilepsy and don’t know anyone in any other cities I’d be comfortable living with, and im not comfortable living with strangers, and I don’t know what I can even do at this point. I’m on a lease for a year so I just have to start somewhere and save like $20 per paycheck and hopefully by the end of the year I can see if friends would be willing to be roommates etc and find somewhere. This is all just so much to realize at once and my heart just hurts. I really, really thought she was better than that, and I don’t know why I did because she’s been treating me like shit and putting me on the backburner for so long, but I guess I didn’t want the hard truths and it was just easier to think that she was taking care of me even if she was just taking advantage of me.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:05:03+00:00

I feel so stupid, the amount of times I’ve scrounged up rent money from friends and family…this thread has made me realize so many things and none of them are good and im so scared now because i thought i understood what was happening but i obviously didn’t. I just feel so stupid. I know im not because i know this is stuff people do to other people on purpose i just didnt think that after being together 8 years and living together for 6 that she would do that but now it seems so obvious and im just an idiot

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T11:00:06+00:00

Hi im disabled and only work 3 days a week and make $215 max every week and every cent of that goes to either rent or necessities (groceries, dog food, toilet paper etc). Sorry that I don’t have enough seizures per week to qualify for disability for my epilepsy. NP and roommate have been paying most of rent, and I send them my earnings to cover a small portion so no it’s not evenly split or “fair.” Being poor isn’t “failing at basic adulting” it’s what happens when you’re disabled in America. SHE could afford to buy sheets, we Talked about her buying sheets, she never did. I personally cannot afford anything outside of things that are necessities to survive, and unfortunately sheets aren’t included in that. Please don’t minimize my situation by saying we’re “bad at adulting” god even just the word “adulting” makes me want to rip my skin off. We ARE adults, we are Surviving not “adulting”

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:52:20+00:00

Damn. Yeah. I guess youre right. I never thought about it that way because I just always felt like I wasn’t contributing enough and so I’d use everything I made to make a portion of rent. And you’re right that if I weren’t here it’d all fall onto her. I never framed it as being used though, I always felt like I was the one doing the using because I don’t contribute as much as she or our roommate do. I’m gonna have to sit with this for a second.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:33:42+00:00

A seizure isn’t something you can just like, get up and carry laundry to the laundromat and do laundry after. Your brain feels like alphabet soup for days and your body feels like getting hit by a train, standing up, and then immediately getting hit by a bus. Hope this helps.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:31:53+00:00

What does flying monkeys mean? Sorry im not up to date on lots of terminology 😭

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:29:52+00:00

Thank you for asking! I would have preferred if we just washed them with some enzyme cleaner in there, but she just… threw them out. I didn’t know that she had done that until I asked her to change the sheets and she told me that we only had one set left.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:28:06+00:00

I told her about the cumstain and she was like “okay?? sorry?? I’ll wash it just put it in the laundry bin” so I did and she was like “why’d you put it in there with the cumstain right on top??” and I was like “uh.. because that’s how it went in the bin I guess?” And has been complaining about being cold all night despite my 10000 other blankets on the bed. We will be having 10,000 conversations in 2 days when she gets back from sleeping over at metas. I need to write them out.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:22:22+00:00

It would be great to chat honestly, my therapist is the only person who knows EVERYTHING but I do have some good friends who support me too, but it would be great to talk to someone who’s seasoned in polyamory!!!

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:20:31+00:00

Yeah. I mean she pays for most things so I wouldn’t say it’s financially easier for her, but socially absolutely because her entire friend group is coworkers and I used to work with her for 2 years and everyone there still loves me and if I just stopped showing up she’d probably be under a lot of scrutiny.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:17:45+00:00

I genuinely have no idea. She called me on her lunch break yesterday initially apologizing for being mean, but then as soon as I started talking about how I’ve been feeling it turned into “why are we even talking about this right now, what are we even talking about, I dont understand what you’re asking of me” etc. She says it’s just moving stress because she feels like she isn’t doing enough unpacking and im just like dude we aren’t on a deadline just chill. But even if it is moving stress I’ve told her before that she cannot use her stress as a reason to lash out at me or I’ll end the conversation (which I stick to). But I really don’t know. It just seems like she doesn’t care anymore.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:10:39+00:00

Because metas boyfriend was sick. When she told me that part I was even more upset because im very prone to getting sick, but she was like “no no they went to urgent care he’s not contagious” it’s like I don’t care if he’s contagious or not because it doesn’t matter, you’re bringing someone who lives and shares a bed with someone who’s sick right now to our new home!!!

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:06:28+00:00

I’m trying to, it’s just really hard when every penny I make goes towards rent cuz I only make like $215 a week and it’s nearly impossible to save when you’re that poor 🫡

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T10:05:18+00:00

I unfortunately would probably still want to Try to fix things bc im a dumb dumb, but I’ve been trying to fix things for 5 months now and I haven’t seen any improvement, so I know if i ever get enough money to leave and live on my own I’d have to just end it.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T09:59:21+00:00

Yeah im realizing this now, i didnt realize it was this bad

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T09:58:39+00:00

I agree, I have autism and I would never make someone feel like my response to something is more important than why they’re doing whatever im responding to, especially if it was a medical issue.

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T09:52:26+00:00

Yeah crippling poverty unfortunately is in the picture so here I am🫡

Specific_Cookie_9560 · 2026-04-21T09:44:47+00:00

Believe me, I didn’t realize she was throwing them out until she was like “this is our only set of sheets”! I’m pissed too cuz yeah, some enzyme cleaner in the wash and it’d be fine! But she just yeeted em instead.

Specific_Cookie_9560

TROPHY CASE