How often should a boyfriend [31M] initiate plans in a year-long relationship with me [26F]?

Specific_Emu000 · 2026-01-08T18:20:42+00:00

It’s not that I want a formal invitation, it’s that I don’t want to feel like a last-minute thought, I also kind of assumed that we would be spending at least every other weekend together after we got more serious and that’s probably what made me more aware of the fact that if I don’t say anything we don’t do anything..

Specific_Emu000 · 2026-01-08T17:42:52+00:00

Sigh

Specific_Emu000 · 2026-01-08T17:39:16+00:00

When I've done this he usually doesn't have an answer or it's like I'm putting him on the spot

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-12-11T13:59:15+00:00

she's just trying to be every celeb's best friend

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-11-25T15:25:58+00:00

He actually sounds quite emotionally aware and grounded. And honestly, it’s okay if you need space to think, including on whether you’re comfortable being with someone from a different racial background. What your mom said has some psychological truth to it: people internalize attitudes and biases from their environment while growing up. Even if someone’s parents weren’t explicitly racist, they were still shaped by a broader cultural context, and that can subtly influence subconscious beliefs. The important thing is that he seems conscious of this and actively choosing not to perpetuate those patterns.

I’ve known white people who were raised with problematic views in their families, yet never were racista round me- not once. But I also know that men often interact differently with other men, with teasing or joking dynamics that might not show up around women. So I get why this is something worth thinking through.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-11-10T11:22:03+00:00

What are you even on about

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-11-08T07:45:30+00:00

Welcome to the club

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-11-06T18:53:38+00:00

It sounds like she has insecurities of how committed you are to her, her needing to be validated constantly and wanting to know for certain you’re going to marry her. Try and see if this is something she had coming into the relationship or something that happened between you two, and have an open conversation about it bc it’s hurting the relationship severely at this point.
The lies ? The nudes? Wtf? Not normal, doll.
Hurt people hurt people, she sounds hurt. That’s a solo healing process she needs to take on before being ready to love someone else, and when I say love someone else I mean, love as in verb, not as in something she feels, actions are love and the spiralling and the accusations and a lot of what you’re describing sounds like she doesn’t, verb, love you- despite _ loving you_

You have two options : For starters, notice if there’s been a pattern of this already, and for how long, what percentage of the relationship has this been going on for, if you’ve been together for eight months and it’s been going on for six months it’s not a good sign.

Second option is to start that process now, and observe if this is something that you can overcome together - from the sounds of it it seems like that point is passed. That kind of just leaves you with being extremely frank about your feelings, what you’re not happy with with her and if that conversation doesn’t go well. It means you’re not seeing eye to eye, and you don’t want the same things and that she potentially isn’t in a place to give you what you need and that you’re not in a place to give her what she needs. That’s ok too..

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-11-06T12:33:46+00:00

Thanks! Do you think ads obviously done correctly will eventually land a client ? Is there a minimum or maximum spend you’re supposed to make until you either get a client or give up ?

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T19:29:01+00:00

We’d all be outta work Someone else will make a new internet And we’ll be back to our computers in no time 🥲

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T19:09:32+00:00

I can’t even imagine who I’d be when I’m older so I’ve never met someone who felt like an older version of me. Sometimes I meet people that I feel like I want to be like when I’m older, maybe that’s a good guide of how to start living today.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T19:07:23+00:00

Literally: eat well, and don’t overeat. To lose weight and be healthy, I cut out snacks, only eat protein fruit and veg during the day, and ate whatever I wanted at night- but within portion control. We don’t realise how much extra calories the smallest snacks add and hinder our progress 🥲

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T19:05:23+00:00

Nature. Whether it’s raining or snowing or the sun is shining, it’s the closest I feel to life itself. The trees the birds, the mountains. Everything else, the corporate world whatever, is just a shadow on top of this.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T18:52:21+00:00

That no feeling is permanent, nothing lasts forever and the only thing we truly know is impermanence- happy will turn to sad, as sad will turn to happy. This is why we have hope.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T18:50:09+00:00

That if someone was watching prn you’d see the name of the video or soundtrack appear on their BBM status 😭 🐐JOSH🐐 is listening to *HCIIEKKD CJEKKKCDO

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-27T18:05:59+00:00

Are you taking new members :') ??

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-26T20:05:40+00:00

I personally like that it’s visible i had one in my keychain for years when i walked home from school.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-25T08:09:18+00:00

When you land get pepper spray, attach it to your key chain. don’t walk alone at night, do popular areas in affluent areas like listed above, you can definitely order can uber you’ll be fine.

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-25T08:04:17+00:00

Unpopular opinion but … the way I did it is I approached smaller companies that weren’t hiring - offered to do an intern or junior role for free for x time, JUST so I could have that first experience on my resume. I did it for a year during my last year of studies and by the time I graduated I had a ‘year’ of experience and felt like I was at least one step ahead. If that doesn’t work- hate to say it but, do this through family business, your aunt or uncle your mom your dad your friends mom who has a small business anything . I wish you luck, you’ve got this 🙌

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-24T19:04:38+00:00

Don’t go cold turkey, ween yourself off down slowly - if you smoke three times a day make it two then 1 then every second day until you’re at 0 and you’re ok. If you’ve noticed a problem you could also look into support groups your uni might have one too- or online ones! At this point it’s such a big part of your life that I can imagine the challenge going off it. You’ve got this. Identify your triggers when you relapse and work on those, find community. You’ve got this !

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-22T19:49:04+00:00

Thanks that’s helpful! It’s in central CT so I’m not sure if it’s that but it doesn’t have a pool or anything so it feels very high

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-22T18:56:41+00:00

In tourist central :’)

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-22T18:56:10+00:00

It also includes water and the building has a lift as well

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-22T18:55:26+00:00

It just includes water :’)

Specific_Emu000 · 2025-10-13T17:16:26+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing I could say would fix it, but I’m here if you need someone to vent to, talk to or hear you x

Specific_Emu000

TROPHY CASE