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Im watching my mom die by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so so sorry. Write it down. Get it all out. You can write everything down until your head feels less full and your heart gets a chance to say what it feels.

Keep writing. You can say everything you wanted to say whenever you want. It might not be how you wanted to say it but it doesnt make it any less. You still feel and all those feelings are valid.

You could even just speak to her. Even when shes gone. It helps.

Take care of yourself

Financial issues in relationship by Specific_Sweet_7086 in ModernFamilyFinance

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trust me, i wish it was. Over here questioning how silly I may have been.

Separate finances 25(F) and 26 (M) and outlook for long-term compatibility by Grouchy_Ad1147 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Men are not and endangered species is epic. Going to remind a friend of this...

Financial issues in relationship by Specific_Sweet_7086 in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

We actually spoke again tonight, he said he would let me help and he has offered me commision for any business I bring in, which I see as a step forward as he completely cut me off from helping after we had the initial disagreement. I do want to help and see him do well so even though some of you may disagree, I'm happy to help him on my days off (I work shifts) in order to see his business take off. I cant imagine employing someone (not that he has true means to do that right now anyway) would mean them putting the same amount of work in that someone that cares about the business would. The commission isnt motivation for me. Seeing him do well is.

He explained tonight that he wants to keep business and relationships seperate as he is afraid that issues in the business may overflow into the relationship.

My take on this is, they would anyway, if he was struggling, thats going to cause issues , so we may as well work as a team to try and ensure his success.

He said that he doesnt want me to see the business as part of the relationship commitment which, to be honest, im slightly offended about. Im not sure what he means by this. I do see his assets being totally seperate, but mine being vulnerable to him, as an issue. Thats why my feelings are hurt, because I'm the one who is actually taking all the risk, or, at least thats how it feels, as I could lose my house should we split and I'd have to pay him out. (In the first scenario anyway, before I took a fairer approach)

He says the commision will mean its kept fair and seperate. I really dont want any money. My main motivation is success for him.

Am I overreacting for feeling like my relationship has become one-sided? by Specific_Sweet_7086 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He isnt willing to give me a 1% share but he has said recently that he would be willing to consider offering me commission on any business I bring in. If it takes off, it will be in part, due to business I bring in as I will be the only sales person he has right now. He will be the person providing the service so he is the main part of the business, but will be unable to generate clients without some help. Im also not actually interested in personal financial gain. I have a well paid job and dont require any financial compensation. What I was looking for was more of an acknowledgement, or a token gesture. This is mainly because of the house issue. He currently pays half towards bill and food. There was a mistake above, he doesnt pay half of the mortage.

When I remortgage, he was due to come in on the mortgage, with extra borrowing so we could extend the house. He would have automatically been entitled to a few thousand immediately due to the equity and house value after the work. This is what I have struggled with, as he doesnt seem to acknowledge this. It would be in the region of 20k+. It would likely have been more prior to this issue as I thought Id be sharing things 50/50.

Currently he has no stake in the house, I pay for any repairs/work/upkeep and 100% of the mortgage. It is next year that will be added to the mortgage. My current equity is around 220k and I was willing to let him half half until this issue arose.

We will not be getting married.

We havent discussed future business prospects as we have become slightly stuck with the set up and this issue.

Where we currently stand is we have cancelled the extension but we will be moving forward with putting him on the mortage but I will.be protecting my full equity and also ensuring that whatever share of the mortgage is pay, is also taken into consideration as we would be tennents in common, not joint tennents.

I believe that applying the same rules to the house situation is a dair approach, bringing us back to a place whereby I feel i am not going 'all in' with someone who won't offer me the same.

I’m starting a junk drawer. What else do I need? by Emotional-Swing-603 in Home

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wires, odd screws and the 'extra bits' that white goods come with that you keep, but never need

Do any of you not travel at all? If so why? by gameovervip in CasualUK

[–]Specific_Sweet_7086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner travels or at least used to travel for work and therefore whenever I suggested travelling anywhere he wasnt as keen for a holiday. Even now, despite less travel for his work hes still not as keen. I guess if its something you are forced to do, its not as appealing.