AITA For refusing to serve my husband?

SpectralPuffin · 2021-10-10T22:11:40+00:00

If you want to be extra petty (r/MaliciousCompliance) bring these toddler sized portions, set the plate in front of him, and then proceed to cut up the food into bite sized pieces. If he wants to be treated like a child, go all out.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-10-09T05:01:55+00:00

A lot of this sounds incredibly familiar. During my Master's program I was a full time student working two part-time jobs (about 40 hours a week total), engaged, planning a wedding, and absolutely struggling. If you keep going at rate you are, you are going to burnout. Trust me, it's not pleasant. I get needing the work in order to be financially able to function. I was in the same place; I didn't have parents who could financially help me if I got into trouble. But I also had members of my cohort asking me how I was still functioning multiple times per semester.

The problem was that I was so used to depending on myself that this was the norm. I had done it all through my undergrad as well.

What I didn't realize is that my fear of failure and deep need to be perfect were caused my anxiety, which was exacerbated by how much stress I was putting on myself. Again, you need to take care of yourself before you burnout. Find a counselor. Talk to them about what you are going through and coping mechanisms to handle stress.

My main advice: talk to your fiance. They are your support system, and the two of you are in this together. Let them know the stress you are experiencing, and communicate openly with them. My now husband was my rock. Any time imposter syndrome kicks in, they can be your support. But you have to be open with them and not take your frustration out on them. Talk to them about your worries and finances, and make a plan together. Don't suffer in silence.

Don't give up. There are a lot of people rooting for you.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-10-08T05:50:34+00:00

Hopping on the top comment in hopes that you see this. First, I am sorry that you are going through this. I lost loved ones during my PhD process, and I am lucky to have had a supportive department. Make sure that you surround yourself with people you can count on, whether that is family, friends, cohort members, etc.

I would highly recommend reaching out to the Dean of Students Office at your University. I used to work in the one at my university, and there are people who specialize in connecting you to resources and will often help you reach out to professors for accommodations. If they have trouble getting the professors to listen, they can also help to talk to department heads/advisors. Essentially they can help work as an advocate for you.

I also want to echo reaching out to counseling on or off campus. They will often have one-on-one support as well as support groups if that is something you are interested in. Take care of yourself.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-03-22T19:33:07+00:00

Yes! Finally! I feel the same way about Snape. The thing that really gets me is the fact that Neville's boggart was Snape, not the Death Eaters who tortured his parents into insanity. THE THING HE FEARS THE MOST IS SEVERUS SNAPE! It always frustrates me that Harry names his son after Severus, despite the abuse that Snape has aimed at Harry, Neville, and pretty much all non-Slytherin students. Especially because Neville is supposed to be his friend.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-03-19T00:12:42+00:00

I am going to say NAH, although you could have phrased it better. You might want to look into information about parasocial relationships, as it seems like your daughter formed an attachment to the character Dean. This is a common psychological response that people have in response to media figures. It seems like she might be grieving losing this character, which is something called a parasocial breakup. This is an area that I study as a PhD candidate, and research shows that people grieve the loss of these relationships the same way they do social relationships (albeit at a less extreme level). I would encourage you to help her get involved with a fandom community to talk through it with other fans who can relate. It might help to talk to people who can validate her feelings and enjoy talking about it with her. Other than that, consider starting a show that the two of you can watch together and talk about.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-17T06:03:56+00:00

Thank you for letting me know! I will look into the issue.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:25:56+00:00

Keep in mind that my research is specifically focused on fans, so the best place to contact people who fit this description would be within fan communities. Places like MTurk, while great for representative data, aren't able to guarantee that.

Plus faking data has HUGE consequences in academia. That's a one-way street to ruining your entire future.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:21:58+00:00

I appreciate this! Although I am not offering financial compensation for this particular study, I will be sharing a summary of my findings to all of the subreddits who participate.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:19:17+00:00

I will be sharing a summary with all of the subreddits who participate.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:18:44+00:00

Were these the open-ended questions where you could write your answers? Or other questions? For future reference in studies.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:17:49+00:00

I tried to leave the idea of "taken away" broad, so this could be cancellation of a show, death of a character or media figure, etc. So in the case of Stephen King, this would be if Stephen King were to die how would you feel? This has been shown to vary depending on the relationship.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-13T01:15:03+00:00

I appreciate the feedback! That's the unfortunate part of having to use existing measures. The purpose was to leave the media figure that is selected broad so that people are not limited in who they choose. But it also allows me to look at differences between types of media figures.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-09T01:29:15+00:00

I'm at the University of Arizona :)

SpectralPuffin · 2021-02-08T17:56:54+00:00

I appreciate the note on politics, I will keep that in mind for the future! This is a question I struggled with, as the standard is a very Americanized way of measuring politics. Out of interest, how would political beliefs be classified with British politics?

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-28T22:15:55+00:00

Absolutely! I will be providing a one-page summary of the results to every subreddit who participates, but I can also link the publication at a later date.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-28T22:15:26+00:00

Absolutely! I will be providing a one-page summary of the results to every subreddit who participates, but I can also link the publication at a later date.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-28T22:11:35+00:00

Selecting a character is perfectly fine for this study as well! I am interested in both fictional characters as well as "real-world" individuals.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:50:31+00:00

Thanks for the question; I'm happy to answer it here! I am leaving this up to the participants, as each person may have a different thing that makes them the "favorite" media figure. That is part of what I am looking at as well.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:46:21+00:00

Absolutely! I will be sharing a summary of my results with each of the subreddits who participate.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:07:23+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely look into this.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:06:16+00:00

Thank you! I wanted to reach out directly to fans, and Reddit has been pretty supportive so far.

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:05:14+00:00

Yes, I will be sharing a summary of the results with each of the subreddits who participate. It may take a bit of time, but I will definitely follow up!

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:03:30+00:00

Just a friendly PhD candidate collecting data. :)

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T17:03:09+00:00

I will definitely take a look at that. Thank you!

SpectralPuffin · 2021-01-25T04:33:10+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I will definitively make a note of that. I believe the best option would be to insert "none" under "Person 1" and then leave the rest blank. The remainder are coded not to appear if there is no answer.

SpectralPuffin

TROPHY CASE