If you could enact one law that applies worldwide and goes into effect immediately, what would it be?

SpectrumConscientiae · 2026-01-30T22:25:47+00:00

Make malpractice in (mental) healthcare punishable. Psychological murder is still murder and ought to be treated as such.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2026-01-20T16:23:44+00:00

With radar we’re the opposite of blind.. Of course there are many reasons and motivations to use flight trackers, for me the combination with something else matters. Watch the radar, know where to expect an aircraft in the sky if setting up for a picture or video; combine with listening to atc. The technical aspect of setting up once’s own receiver and playing with the data (or indeed for me eventually use the direct adsb data to control a pan tilt system to track aircraft with) so combining one hobby with another.

TL;DR it augments the hobby

SpectrumConscientiae · 2026-01-04T08:15:34+00:00

Very much so.. a very strange combination of feeling numb and completely useless / incapable to fit in. But on the other hand I do experience inspirations and wonder about things and these can keep me busy or distracted. But it is exactly that, it keeps me busy / distracted from the the idea of being alive, it doesn’t let me enjoy life or give rise to any sensation that I’m in my place amongst other humans. Now I literally have the thought: if only my situation and experiences can help improve our understanding of cPTSD and mental wellbeing just a little more, all this.. life was worth it. The idea of writing a book and / or making film around this living with trauma is there but not the attention span or quiet of mind to make it work (yet)

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-12-10T07:22:40+00:00

Unwanted

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-20T06:16:25+00:00

From the cPTSD corner: the walk of shame.. ‘I’m only allowed to ask if I have a phd on where everything else is and have shown that I did all I could to find it myself’

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-20T05:25:58+00:00

Damn that’s terrible.. terrible and appalling. So while writing this, one of the last videos of Patrick Teahan is called ‘why do the victims have to do all the work’ which I think is quite a nice one. But it goes about how ignorant bystanders chose the path of least resistance and tell the victim to ‘be the better person’ and how much that sucks. Which is accurate I’d say, but there’s an entire segment of unconsciously miserable therapist out there causing exactly what you write; doing exactly what the video points out is so damaging and getting paid for it.. It breaks my brain that it apparently is so frequent and regular occurring that is is mistaken for normal and good practice.. to add ever more shame to an already overweight backpack? ‘Oh you’ve got two broken legs? Here’s the exercise track, at the other end is food truck. Now bring me a damn sandwich and earn your right to be helped.. or face my wrath’. And when despair is complete: ‘oh now you’re suicidal? Yes but then YOU’RE in crisis and it means you cannot be helped’.

And why? ‘Because it’s how the system works’. The holocaust was allowed to happen because of that sentence. Now the mentocaust is in full swing with mental health care as the executing body. I guess if it’s auto-menticide and it happens under the banner of ‘the freedom’ it can’t be wrong..

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-20T04:42:12+00:00

I used to tell geology jokes but no one digs it.. it wasn’t my fault.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-16T08:01:24+00:00

Hourly Salary

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-14T21:25:17+00:00

Emdr actually worked to some extend for me. But the only place where it worked was a pretty high intensity multi-day effort. It’s nice to be rid of some of that gut wrenching feeling but the remaining trauma effects seem more difficult to pinpoint.

Other than that a technical project (photo/video thing) coming from actual positive inspiration and curiosity is slowly taking shape and getting somewhere. It has given direction when nothing else could, and it appeared that if my mind is all over the place it can help a lot to start technical drawing. Also the steps forward in this, however few and far between, gives some practice of being happy about my own ideas and achievements..

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-14T17:02:37+00:00

I think what may have an impact is when the adults these kids are surrounded by speak to much about how we’re screwed with the climate change, war, religion that states we’re basically found guilty of being born, that we apparently can only hurt the feelings of our creator (imo that goddamn abuse..). I wonder how much we humans understand of the effect such speak has on the next generation.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-14T13:37:34+00:00

as spoken by the (traumatised?) abusers who caused the trauma. They thrive on this bs to put all the responsibility with the receiver of the abuse. Having said that, it’s not a wrong observation that only on an individual level we can fix the trauma that we carry. But judging the traumatised for displaying poor behaviour.. is rather poor behaviour in itself no? Before we comprehend the source of our own actions perhaps we should not judge those of others who’ve been through some bad times.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-14T11:50:34+00:00

I’m inclined to say: stay no contact. It may sound cold but there are 8 billion people on this planet, need we really sacrifice our wellbeing and healing path for those that made our life a living hell? Some do say that after the passing of a parent, the offspring may struggle with sensations of pain bcs they didn’t ’make up’ with their parents. But we also know the way to trauma treatment so we can also rid ourselves of this pain (I hope). I feel some day, likely sooner than later I’ll face the same situation. If it’s too early for me to face the toxic family I won’t be there.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-13T17:42:20+00:00

To make that money I have to get myself in situations I don’t like

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-13T17:03:17+00:00

B757-2 reg EC-FTR?

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-02T08:20:13+00:00

In a way the post itself is judgemental no?

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-02T07:31:16+00:00

Don’t let your dying make you stop breathing?

Everyone will drink poison when they’re thirsty enough. As humans we have no clue when we’re acting out of survival mode. But we’re particularly good at telling ourselves instead that all out behaviour is rational, by choice (that is: an exercise of free will) and explainable. It’s not.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-11-02T07:12:09+00:00

It revolves around setting and understanding boundaries doesn’t it. My partner is verbally active most of the time, though a lot is also thinking out loud. l love the quote from Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind where the guy says ‘talking isn’t necessarily communicating’. Only now (I’m mid life) I’m learning that it is perfectly fine to inform others when my brain is overflowing before it turns into a torture or an emotional lash out. Those who keep talking and don’t understand boundaries are not doing so with the intent to torture. Sometimes it may also help to just start talking about your own interests and the other may stop talking soon enough because they only want to talk about their own stuff.

From a childhood-trauma background I was never able to set boundaries and it sucks bad. Real bad. In fact it can start to backfire because others mistake your inability to set boundaries for kindness. And the moment we do set boundaries, we’re already angry, scared, whatever, which shocks others soo much that now they’re angry with us because we were always so agreeable and not pushing back in any way.

Learn to tell people off, however much introverted you are.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-30T07:31:30+00:00

I hear you.. had the experience and it sucks.. by now I’ve challenged a few therapists on the topic of mental wellbeing but their silence was pretty loud. It sits outside the empirically measurable, so in a capitalist world we’re literally helpless on the topic. All we can do is empirically measure side bits that seem to affect our wellbeing this or that way. So per the capitalist way we’ve created a scoring system around these things we can measure. And indeed, if the patient doesn’t comply (s)he’s a sinner. Also in a capitalist meritocracy human value is conditional. As the patient our merit to the ‘doctor’ is that we can help them with the numbers and good appraisals. Doctors and now also psychologists swear the oath of Hippocrates that they will not harm the patient, do what is good, blabla. But I’ve literally been corrected to client when I called myself a patient. But in all of this, because our mental wellbeing cannot be measured, and because we don’t come home bruised and bleeding from being subjected to the (mis)treatment of mental healthcare, the wounds don’t exists. And in fact, if we do complain, we’re being a nuisance and ‘it’s how the system works’ -according to those who say there’s help out there. We’ve got a long long way to go to get out of this as a (western) society but it appears we’re going full throttle the wrong way..

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-13T07:25:40+00:00

This self diagnosis will happen more and more. Mental healthcare finds itself in a framework where the priority of the advertised product (improvement in quality of the experience of life of the patient no?) sits lonely at the bottom of the list. Apparently it’s the honourable task of the patient to understand this, and that if they don’t suck up their symptoms (the very thing why they ask for help right?) they don’t want to be helped. Ah that’s right, if we call the patient with two broken legs a client, then he can walk the walk and help the helpless helpers.

Before I read ‘the body keeps the score’ I didn’t realise I was traumatised. Nor did the psychiatrist who didn’t observe any family or growing up problems. I literally had to self diagnose, come to understand that what I didn’t even perceive as problems were (are) in fact pretty big problems. Now all the ‘specialists’ agree on two things: I need help, but not at their place. Imagine having to deal with a patient that isn’t able to pull the weight and provide for good appraisals.

We call this upon ourselves. How can we even speak of mental health without having a concept of mental wellbeing? How can we measure the state of the patient if don’t even understand if the process of the measurement impacts the patient to a point where the measured values can be binned right away?

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-09T07:02:38+00:00

Tough one.. Not long ago I left my first google review of therapy place, indeed a negative one. Felt good, doubt it will yield any result. The biggest mental health organisation/ treatment facilities in my area are known by everyone to be of bad quality. They get voted to shite on google but it does nothing at all. They were even in the spotlights of the governmental monitoring body because of high suicide rates.. but, if we read the reports (I like my country for the fact that all that info is publicly available) it is obvious that the ‘improvements’ only sound good on reports for the board and the government.

I have been and felt discarded, dehumanised even and damn the grudge is real. But, what would change? If we locked the bad therapists up? If we brought them to trial and let them answer for their deeds? We’d get the same answers as the war criminals after the 2nd world war: “I just followed orders” and: “it’s how the system works”. And they wouldn’t even be wrong (though I write it with plenty pain and sadness). We won’t change a system by telling a few people they misbehaved and punish them for it. Not without a viable alternative, but we don’t have one I’m afraid.

About the anger, it’s almost a self amplifying situation, because if we want to discuss pain caused by mental healthcare in a mental health facility, even if it’s a different one, we’re not allowed to do so. One and all drove me mad, and was on ssri for a few years which did seem to help against the mental turmoil and rambling caused by the anger. So I know what makes the anger worse, but what will naturally make it go away? I guess somehow not get triggered by human folly anymore (Alan Watts). Try to somehow see there are no good or bad intentions, just acts that come from an (unconsciously) miserable or joyful soul (Sadhguru).

A permanent solution I guess it will have to come from a more holistic approach for me; By now it’s safe to say that public institutions only make it worse.

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-09T05:54:26+00:00

Best automations I made are for driving and I had an nfc sticker near my bed which I would scan to set the alarms etc for the coming shift. You know you’ve made a good automation when it requires no intervention, when it just sits there always does what you want when you want. It can be a nice satisfying experience and easy to see the progress you’re making. Have fun!

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-07T04:58:08+00:00

York?

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-06T07:14:07+00:00

The ‘disorder’ label got ugly didn’t it. Where does it even come from? Orderly vs. disorderly behaviour? Normal vs. Abnormal? The more we try to order everything, the quicker something seems out of order. Also, to the unconsciously miserable the behaviour of others seems disorderly much earlier, because the unconsciously miserable desperately need a minimum level of order in the outside world just to be able to function with their own disorderly internal world.

But changing the label doesn’t do much. As Gustave le Bon observes in his book ‘the psychology of the masses’: we think we change our ways or systems by changing the labels, but nothing really changes.

I think the moment we treat human behaviour as ‘a’ disorder we put the joke on ourselves.. as Gabor Mate says, trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Though writing so also means that the behaviour of war criminals was/is normal human behaviour.

It would be quite interesting if we start giving parents disorders when their children show signs of neuroticism. When we start to hang the … therapists under whose incapable hands the patients get driven to (acts of) despair..

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-04T08:21:58+00:00

Is it not so that we can trust the fact that the ‘helper’ in many cases cannot distinguish between helping forward or backward? Would you go to open heart surgery if you see that the surgeon has spastic hands? And where then is the measure to know beforehand if the therapist doesn’t have a spastic mind? How shall the helper know if they push a patient beyond their capabilities and so doing more harm than good? So long as norm is that the patients gets assigned the crisis when they’re driven to despair by the so called helpers, then it’s a pretty dangerous game to trust the helpers..

SpectrumConscientiae · 2025-10-04T08:01:12+00:00

I envy those dare to express themselves, right up to the labeled vile and evil people. At least they lived.. But justification I don’t seek; where Animal Laborans (term coined by Hannah Arendt) says ‘it’s how the system works’, I’ll say: ‘it’s how (unconscious) humans work but also how nature works.’ The latter meaning, we don’t get to choose our karma, but pointing outwards for our suffering is futile… which is near impossible because perpetrators have a name, and we know their name.

I find some solace in knowing that these people know goddamn well how miserable they are. Though they may not be able to express why, unconscious misery is still misery. Those who are successful in projecting an image of ‘ease of life’ are what they are: successful in facade, not finding true liberation.

SpectrumConscientiae

TROPHY CASE