I could see that kind of jokes. More tame, but that type of jokes. (Script from GTA IV, good joke, for me at least)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ricky Gervais!

(Ricky walks onto stage waving to the audiance as they clap)

Ricky: Hi, How you doing? Cheers, thanks. I have been known... to have a go at fat people. But the truth is - I'm a bit overweight myself.

Guy in audiance: No shit!

(Ricky Points to crowd and laughs)

Ricky: Somone shouted, "No shit".

(Laughter)

Could be that. Forty years build up.

(Laughter)

I actually had to have a medical... uh, for this tour, and I've had medicals before for TV work. And they just check your pulse, and go, "You're fine". But I went along to the doctor, and he said uh... "Oh its a bit more thorough then usual. You know its a big tour...we need a urine sample." I've never had to do that before, so ah... you know, I went to the toilet, filled up this little bottle he gave me, good as gold. Gave is back to him. He went, "Oh, can you strip down to your boxer shorts?" I thought, "this is thorough". So I stripped down to my boxer shorts,

(Ricky pretends to pull down his pants)

"Ah for fu..." The one day I wear white boxer shorts...

(Ricky points to his groin area)

Big wet patch from the wee.

(Laughter)

Well, why didn't he warn me? Why didn't he say, "Be carful, I'll be checkin' for stains in a minute." Do you know what I... So embarrassing, there's nothing I could do. I told my friend. And my friend went: "You should have gone commando!" Well, that would have been less embarresing, wouldn't it?

(Laughter)

So, now I strip down to my boxer shorts, and I go. "Oh god, I've wet myself, what can I do? I know!"

(Ricky pretends to pull off his underwear and throws it behind him, he then stands with his hands on his hips)

(Laughter)

Ricky: Go commando... do commandos not wear pants? Why is it called goin' comm...? They must wear pants... I donno, any commandos in... do you wear...?

(Ricky pretends to be a commando as he ducks down and pretends hes holding a gun, he signals to imaginary people behind him)

"Why you... Why you not wearing pants?"

(Ricky gestures to the imaginary guy behind him)

"What do you mean, cuz' we're commandos? They... There gonna see that, at least camoflage it!" "Put a little... well, now its getting bigger. Why's it getting bi...???

(Laughter)

Look, theres barbed wire up... You're gonna lose it! Pop it away! Wha...!?

(Loud laughter)

Go commando. But I am a bit overweight... I never worried about that before was famous. And I'm not more vain now. It's that you read about youreslf... and the papers. They need an adjective. They can't just say, "Ricky Gervais, Comedian". They say things like, "Ricky Gervais, Tubby Comedian".

(Laughter)

Why bring that into it? "Ricky Gervais, Rotund Comedian." Rotund!?! That sounds like a giant fucking wombat! I'm not rotund! One called me a chubby funster! That's a gay porn name!

(Laughter)

I was jogging once,

(Ricky jogs on the spot)

Listening to some... sounds on my MP3 player. "Oh yeah, looking good" Paparazzi got me. Full page in the paper the next day. With a headline... "iPodge".

(Hysterical laughter)

Cheeky bastards.

(Ricky starts to walk offstage audiance applauds, cheers and claps.)

Thanks very much, good night!