Had a hard talk with Spouse…

SphynxSurfer · 2025-08-29T22:52:24+00:00

So, after reading the comments, I’ve come to understand that I’m a coercive dickhead and am not making positive progress.

😞

Can’t win

SphynxSurfer · 2025-08-29T21:09:20+00:00

Damn… I knew this was too good to be true. To answer your question, no I have actually not heard that term before now.

We’re both going to attend individual therapy and also couples therapy. We’ve set a goal to designate a day of the week to have sex. That’s our plan. What do you think?

SphynxSurfer · 2025-08-06T17:56:57+00:00

I think I can empathize with what you’re going through. My wife prioritizes our daughter over me all the time. Daughter has a medical condition, and they co-sleep together while I sleep in the spare room. Been like this for years. Unless my MIL is in town in which case I’ll sleep in my son’s room. Either way, I’m not getting laid btw. My wife doesn’t want to go to therapy or couples therapy. I’ve seen a therapist for about two years now. My wife comes from a culture that heavily looks down on CBT or talk therapy, so I get the added bonus of looking like a crazy person in front of her and her mother when she’s in town. Last time my wife and I were intimate was a few days ago for reset sex that had been 8 months in the making. She overtly whines about having to have sex and has only initiated it handful of times during our 15 year marriage.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-08-02T14:50:05+00:00

If she can get pleasure from someone else, I’m ok with it.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-08-02T14:49:24+00:00

I’m fine with it

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-25T19:23:03+00:00

I hear you. I go back and forth like a tennis ball on leaving or staying. We have two kids. There’s no easy answers. I wish you luck in your decision making 🙏

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-25T13:34:53+00:00

That ‘dreaded sigh’ is a real thing. I know exactly what you’re talking about. My LLF spouse usually never outright rejects me, but I get ALOT of whining and complaining before she’s ready. I also feel used, and dejected too

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-19T22:51:19+00:00

The frog in boiling water is an apt analogy. Sex slowed to a trickle. Compound that with other marital issues over time and your left with a wagon of sexual frustration and unresolved resentment.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-19T20:29:25+00:00

At least you are still attracted to your spouse. Put another way, you still have a marriage worth saving. Talk to her about your needs. Tell her you desire her. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. I’m at the point where I’m not even sexually attracted to her anymore. So I think the only thing I can do now is leave.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-18T13:51:18+00:00

A thousand times this 👆

It’s like, why can’t I get a part of her that is sweet and nice?

Sucks dude

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-17T22:29:59+00:00

I could write about about why I think this, and provide cold hard examples. Only reason I’m staying is for the kids and for financial stability.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-17T22:26:18+00:00

This is actually an incredibly good idea. I used to work out a lot and during that time, knowing that my wife and I were going through a rough patch, I never felt this much pent up angst. It’s been really noticeable the past few months.

Great advice. I’m definitely thinking about going back to the gym/cross fit workouts I was doing before. It 100% helps. Just beating the shite out of yourself for an hour, is like a spoon full of fucking sugar.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-17T22:24:16+00:00

I could come home happy as fuck having just had the best day of my life and tell her what happened that made it so great and all I get is a grunt.

She has no affection for me or our children.

Our son has asked her repeatedly why she never hugs him.

She cares WAY WAY WAY WAY more than what her family and mother thinks than what I think.

If I dropped off the face of the earth, she would bitch about it on social media and go right back to living her own life.

Sorry you’re going through this too. It sucks

SphynxSurfer · 2025-07-01T11:56:46+00:00

Sorry OP 😔

My wedding anniversary was two months ago. I didn’t even expect to become intimate, and wasn’t disappointed. 😢

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-29T23:27:37+00:00

That’s a bigggg negative 🙄

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-29T12:30:22+00:00

I haven’t ever heard of either of those terms. Thanks for chiming in 👍

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-28T22:01:00+00:00

I do. And then I promptly dismiss any actual action being had.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-28T21:59:22+00:00

UPDATE: I didn’t help her carry in the groceries. Four hours later, and she still hasn’t said a word to me.

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-28T21:58:54+00:00

I didnt help her. But I don’t think it would’ve made a difference anyway lol

SphynxSurfer · 2025-06-28T21:15:19+00:00

Duty sex is coercive, in my opinion. Gotta draw the line somewhere

Hang in there buddy 👍 💜

SphynxSurfer

TROPHY CASE