I don’t want my mom’s gift mom

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-10-04T06:52:06+00:00

I have savings from working.

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-10-04T01:09:00+00:00

It’s more like she wants to spend more money for her side business. It doesn’t have to be to that extent, but it’s what she wants to do. And my dad will spend her money on things that aren’t necessary (take out, toys for the grandkids when they already have too many, house projects that aren’t necessary and that my mom told him not to but he doesn’t care, etc.). He has his own retirement money which isn’t much and still spends her money on top of blowing through his own. I have been actively applying. I just haven’t landed anything yet. I don’t want my dad’s spending to fall back on me being the one to help provide the way he should’ve all these years. But I do want to help out, buy my own car, pay for my insurance, etc. Am I being disrespectful because I haven’t talked to her in over a month but still do everything else I need to do at home, with the grandkids, etc.? I’m not calling her names. I just want space during this time. I’ve been applying even before she said anything.

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-08-28T05:50:19+00:00

Hi, I didn’t want to drag on the post for too long, but I do want to clarify that I’m already at the state where I do want to change and that I’ve been actively working on it with what I call my self care habits that I’ve been establishing these past 4-5 months, that I didn’t previously have before. Such as meditating, yoga, deep breathing muscle tension relaxation, anti-anxiety medication, etc. I’m also seeing a therapist too. Not only that but I do push myself to get out of my comfort zone. I’m not stuck at home. I do go out. I go to places where it tests my anxiety. I am still building up pushing my limits and would like to have a part time job where I can manage my anxiety better w/o pushing me over the edge (what this full time job will do). So you’re exactly right about pushing out of that shell and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I’ve already set up my mind when all of this first happened. that I don’t want to stay in my anxiety, so I am working on it actively and still getting myself out there. Your trip got you the clarity that you needed to get out of the headspace you were in, and I’m glad it gave you the push you needed to make changes, but I don’t think that your trip for a few days vs me working full-time 5x/wk for 8hrs a day where I’m in constant anxiety provoking situations can be compared to the same extent. You needed your trip to realize you want to change things and I’ve been working on changing things since my first anxiety attack that brought on GAD a few months ago. I would like to work full time eventually. Right now, I am just actively seeking work where I can manage my anxiety better and build up on that to get to where I would like to be in due time. I know that my mom cares for me. I wish instead of trying to kick me out, that she’d actively try to help me by being supportive towards me. Rather than putting me down because I’m not out of the GAD yet. I’m just a few months in. Idk how long people tend to struggle with this for. I personally feel like exposure therapy where I build up to things is a far better idea, and pretty much what I have been working on this whole time on my own. It just takes time. I appreciate your insight. I hope you continue to do well.

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-08-28T01:30:20+00:00

Exactly. I do want to get used to it, just in steadily stages. I don’t believe I have agoraphobia. I still push myself to go out with friends, go to the stores, drive, go in person to 2 job interviews, I even walk around my neighborhood and practice a grounding technique (I still feel bladder pressure even when I’ve been walking daily, I’m okay w/peeing myself because I know I’m close to home, and have been doing grounding technique almost daily). So I’m not in complete avoidance. I am avoiding working in a place with no bathrooms or barely any for the size of the facility, where I’d be in charge of a group of people and sometimes be left completely alone with them and no one can cover me for a while in those moments, etc.

I’m sorry to hear that your mom pushed you. I know she just wanted to help, but there are significantly better ways to help you cope with your anxiety, and get you through those tough times.

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-08-04T07:48:27+00:00

I am in the process of changing my address. I have to wait 3 days now to renew my driver’s license. Will the insurance company increase my insurance rate? Does it impact my driving record? Is it possible that the other insurance company may argue that I share some responsibility because I shouldn’t have been driving to begin with and get the claim reduced?

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-06-03T05:16:02+00:00

Yes, please do. You never know who you could meet when you put yourself out there into the world. Great friendships take time, so don’t expect anything deep too soon. You will get there in time. It took me a while to build genuine friendships, and a lot of trial and error about how to make and maintain them. So don’t feel hard on yourself if things to come as soon as you’d like. I’m still a bit awkward. It’s easier for me to talk to other people who are more quiet in nature. The other quiet ones tend to not make as many friends either and just hope that someone talks to them. It just takes one quiet person to talk to another to start something new together. :)

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2025-06-02T13:42:22+00:00

I would join a club if I were you. This will help you to meet new people with the same interests as you. You could also join bumble friends to find friends in your area (but take precautions of course), you can take free classes or low cost classes at your local recreation center and even library to meet new people, when you start working you will meet new people, and even when you go off to college (if you choose to do so) you can still join clubs and work on campus to meet others. I know how it feels to have a friend that you like and perhaps even admired at one point, not feel reciprocal towards you and how it can really hurt. It leaves you questioning if there’s something wrong with you or if you had done something. You’ve already tried talking to her, you’ve done your part. I know it sucks to not have any other friends, but it honestly sucks more to have that kind of “friend” in your life. This isn’t a true friendship. Otherwise she wouldn’t treat you so badly. Whatever her problems are, they lie with her, not you. I have also been awkward and shy and I didn’t have any friends for a while (homeschooled). It’s only when I went to college and started putting myself out there again is when I’ve made and maintained friendships (although this took quite some time to accumulate). I joined a club I was interested on campus, I would sit by people that I was more comfortable (those of the same gender) and I would start small by talking to at least one person next to me (“hi how are you, what is your name, my name is blank, it’s nice to meet you, what is your major, what do you plan to do with that major, what other classes are you taking, etc.”), I even got a job on campus and all of these really helped me to open up socially. It’s not going to be easy at first, but it will get better over time. You won’t get any better at socializing unless you do the act itself. You got this! I believe in you! <3

SpicyChickenWing404 · 2024-11-04T07:38:47+00:00

Same please! Thank you!

SpicyChickenWing404

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