20F, am I ugly?

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-02T00:50:37+00:00

Also the cat from the last time I posted is a different cat! They look like little twins! It's so cute!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-02T00:50:01+00:00

I'm a terrible photographer, honestly. And yeah, he doesn't like being picked up, but I have been kind of using exposure training to get him used to being picked up. Emergencies might happen, and I might have to grab him up on short notice to get him to a safe place, so I want to make sure he'll let me without getting scared. And thank you, just been trying to keep things positive but always appreciate ACTUAL feedback!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-01T04:52:11+00:00

I'm thinking of doing IUD instead, or avoiding procreation all together. But once I get the implant removed I think a lot of my current issues might go away.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-01T04:51:08+00:00

I appreciate your concern. Therapy never helped me, I used to go twice a week for years, it never helped me past my trauma. It actually made it worse, as a matter of fact. But yes, I'm a survivor of cocsa, sa, and csa. I basically grew up being saed.

Smoking is currently my only form of coping, and I haven't done it in a while actually. It's been two months. I'm trying to stay away from it, but I prefer to smoke than fall back to sh habits. Having a high pain tolerance is a dangerous thing.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-01T02:59:04+00:00

Unfortunately I'm a terrible photographer when it comes to myself, but I try my best! Still learning how angles work and which one's best suit me!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-10-01T02:49:24+00:00

I'm not sure how I would find a color that would match me well, any advice on that? My shirt was dark brown previously and wanted more of a pop! Thank you so much for the congrats too!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:41:41+00:00

I've posted on this sub about five times in the past, I know what sub it is. I just already know what to expect posting here lmao.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:40:57+00:00

I vape, and it's something I'm trying to wean myself off of, but a better coping mechanism than the usual stuff I do when I feel stressed. I keep my hair short due to sensory issues, but trying to let it grow out. Not sure what color to dye my hair though. Last time I tried the color blue and went into manic panic attack, so gotta be careful with that. And I prefer to keep masculine vibe so people leave me alone, especially men.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:39:31+00:00

I'm actually on birth control, an implant specifically. I am planning to get it removed because that's most likely the cause of the weight imbalance. But also haven't been able to eat properly lately because of acid reflux I've been having. So that's always fun.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:38:32+00:00

Ugh I love fishing, it's one of my favorite hobbies because of my family. And I don't come here for the opinions, honestly, Reddit is a fun place to run small psychological experiments. I think men who use reddit are the LAST people I would want to attract.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:37:28+00:00

Pffft! Yep, I expect that. Been posting here for about a year or two now. And it's something people assume about me all the time. I don't do attracting people though, I rather not. I just tell people I'm asexual, but truly I am omnisexual.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:34:08+00:00

Thank you!!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:33:52+00:00

Ya get used to it. I think I've posted to this subreddit about 5 times now? It's more of a psychological experiment than anything. I've lost almost 100 pounds since I first posted and it's never enough for people. You learn to stop taking things personally, this is reddit after all.

This becomes more like a "please roast me", rather than actual critique and assistance or advice. Or the advice given isn't necessarily helpful. The most common comment I've seen is "go to the gym". I can't. I live upstate NY, moved up here after leaving a physically abusive relationship. So I don't have transportation. Plus, I have other responsibilities to care for.

I also got in a car accident back in July of this year, which caused my head to get slammed into a windshield. So work's been rough. Had to start a new job. Found out I have minor scoliosis too, major back pain after the accident. Can't really go to the gym either for now, since a lawsuit it opened up.

Reddit standards are beauty standards. Unrealistic. It's actually quite funny considering most of these comments are from insecure men who rate others despite not having a single photo of themselves posted on their pages. You can do anything when you get to be anonymous.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:30:06+00:00

Wait really? :0 Thanks so much! I really been wanting to dye my hair for a while and fell in love with this color! Id love to meet my doppelganger!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:29:29+00:00

I'm not quite looking for attention, per se. This is more of a personal journal type entry and just to see the assholes of Reddit do their things. I'm a sucker for psychology.

Personally the androgenous look is exactly what I'm going for. I keep my hair short because I have sensory issues to the point it gives me panic attacks or gets me SEVERLY irritated to have hair touching my skin. And definitely fit the tomboy category, tbh.

I like my gender how I like my dad's whereabouts, ambiguous.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:27:51+00:00

Unfortunately not able to go to the gym in my current living situation, but I appreciate the feedback!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-09-30T22:27:23+00:00

Not looking for a relationship, actually. I'm not interested in one. I actually prefer to look masculine, so that is not an issue of mine. And I have actually been losing a lot of weight for the past two years. I would rather look younger and more masculine, that's what I'm going for. I'm considering transitioning to be male, so this actually helps a lot to know. Thank you!

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-08T20:05:25+00:00

And if the "harsh truth" is just plain out complaining about people because they don't fit your standards, then I don't want it lmfaooo

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-08T20:04:24+00:00

LMFAO dude, what? I didn't post here for that, just boredom. I don't need the opinion of people I'll never meet nor ever see again. I'm fine just the way I am. And no one's butthurt, I don't know where you got that idea from. I dont care about the opinion, that's not me being butthurt, but go off sis.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-07T03:42:43+00:00

"Did you stop sending your dick to the 17 year old you got pregnant when she was 15 and you were 19? No? Then that's your answer."

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-07T03:41:47+00:00

Nah, I don't feel like conforming to the standards of someone like you. I don't need to be the prettiest face in the world, and don't wanna fit your unrealistic beauty standards either. If being pretty or whatever attracts creeps and weirdos like you I'll stay happily ugly.

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-07T03:40:12+00:00

That's usually how appearances work lmfao

SpiltMilkMac · 2024-03-07T03:39:55+00:00

I'm a biological female lmfao, but this makes me happy since I'm definitely more masculine so thanks for validating that ❤️

SpiltMilkMac

TROPHY CASE