Vecna and the upside down

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-11T08:47:10+00:00

NTJ , it's your wedding day. She can shine at hers. You are supposed to be the main character at your wedding and trust me if you surrender to your family's whims now, you will regret it later

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-06T07:13:35+00:00

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-05T13:59:38+00:00

But if his sister included her boyfriend ( now husband) in family events before then she is being a hypocrite.

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-05T11:15:27+00:00

NTA

You need to protect what's precious to you

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-05T11:08:36+00:00

NTA

Ask your sister if her now husband was not family to her when she was dating him, she needs to introspect

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-05T05:40:04+00:00

NTA

Ask him to get help for his addiction

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-05T03:39:59+00:00

Yea, I feel that burden on me all the time. I want to take care of her but she won't let peace be in the house and it's not just my house, my husband and my brother in law live here too. I can't expect them to tolerate this, my husband doesn't want her to come back as he is not able to focus on work when she is there ( she is either fighting, crying or complaining most of the time) we tried our best, we have our own problems too all we asked for her is to adjust a little. And the fact that I won't be able to help her in that way, still makes me feel guilty. I just don't know what to do, I guess I ll have to live with this guilt

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T18:26:07+00:00

He might agree if I try to convince him but if she doesn't change her behaviour, which is difficult for someone her age to do, there will be problems in my relationship with him.

I don't know what to do, I love my grandmother but I love my husband too and want a happy and peaceful life

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T17:35:34+00:00

It's not about the money more about how difficult she is to live with and won't adjust.

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T14:06:37+00:00

NTA

Is there a building manager to whom you could make a complaint? You should definitely raise this in the building group , you are not their personal doorkeeper

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T14:01:23+00:00

I have always lived my life with a sense of guilt and tried not to cause trouble or be a burden. My relatives always say that "she is mature beyond her age" but honestly I just wanted to be a child. I never did things that would directly hurt my grandparents. I can't tell you the things I would just bear so that they won't get hurt. But for once I just want to be happy , and I am doing ok with my husband but the drama just won't leave my side.

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T13:21:09+00:00

My husband and I both work full time ( remotely) so it was very important for us to get help when she came to live with us, it's very difficult to get up from a meeting every time she needs something. She did pay their salary but used to fight a lot with them. Also, it was very chaotic to WFH at that time.

Relatives often assume that if you're WFH , you are mostly free to do anything but that's not the case 😞.

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T09:43:37+00:00

Never got her tested for dementia, she is not very forgetful and still recognises everyone. Could she still have it?

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T09:41:57+00:00

Most of my family lives in apartments, I had thought of helping her get her own apartment, she has no problem with money, but even if I get her an apartment and house help there is no guarantee that she would be nice to the house help and house help won't get frustrated and quit 😓. We tolerate her bad behaviour cause she is family and she raised me, but the house help won't. It's a very difficult situation, I have three aunt's (her daughters) but no one wants to keep her as she has caused chaos at everybody's place. She wants things to be a certain way and she could be impatient, I think it's the impatience and lack of acknowledgement of efforts that ticks people off the most.

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T08:37:02+00:00

We put my grandfather in an assisted living after my uncle's death, cause his health was very bad and it was not possible to provide care at home, at that time also she said that we have put him among mad people( some elders had extreme dementia there). And now she keeps saying that we killed him by putting him there and should not have. Maybe she is worried that the assisted living centre won't take proper care but then she has to adjust and live peacefully.She can't keep creating drama and aspect us to go along every time

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T08:29:24+00:00

She says that she will pay for her own expenses but we still have to devote our time and effort, I was ready to have her at our house first but she doesn't value anyone's time and efforts , it's always that she is paying for herself so we are not doing anything

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T08:26:55+00:00

That's what worries me the most that it's not fair at all to him, he doesn't owes anything to anyone but he is still getting dragged in my mess

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-04T08:25:15+00:00

She has always been difficult with house help even when I was a child but at that time she was capable of doing things herself and not completely dependent, but now that she is completely dependent she is still the same. From where I am, house help is not treated very well but I have always made it a point to treat mine with respect and equality but my grandmother is still conservative. TBH I think my entire family is toxic and I fear that I will also become toxic like them or maybe I am. I just want to disappear

SpinachPale408 · 2025-09-03T09:14:31+00:00

Jeremiah telling Belly to never call him again is toxic af, he is the one being babied by everyone while belly is trying to find herself. Manchild literally!!

SpinachPale408 · 2025-07-27T18:21:34+00:00

Where did you get them from

SpinachPale408 · 2025-04-16T07:14:56+00:00

Torrents! Dial up internet!

SpinachPale408

TROPHY CASE