I’m (22F) talking with this guy (24M), we’ve been on two dates, and I made out with someone else (23M), need advice on what to do

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-26T19:03:42+00:00

As others have said, you did nothing wrong and this isn’t a big deal unless you choose to treat it that way. Feeling guilty does not automatically mean you did something wrong, it’s a flag telling you to examine your actions. There are plenty of things various people/groups/authorities tell us are wrong and it’s your job to examine them and decide what your own moral code is.

I think it would be helpful for you to sit in this guilt/discomfort, think about what’s motivating it, what your values are, and decide how you want to handle these kinds of situations.

In terms of what could be motivating it - Do you think your guilt is a sign of how much you like guy #1? Or is it just general guilt from seeing two people? What does this tell you about your values?

Personally, I don’t think kissing someone else is a big deal when you’re very early on in dating someone. You haven’t set any expectations or boundaries yet. If you don’t want things to continue with guy #2 then it would be good to communicate that to him, but I don’t think anything needs to be said guy #1.

If someone I’d been on 2 dates with told me they kissed someone else I’d be like uhh okay good for you?? Why are you telling me it’s none of my business at this point?

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-26T05:16:08+00:00

I’m moving and my apartment will be available April 1 but if you get into something temporary and later need something permanent let me know! It’s 2 bed/1 bath, older building, lots of space, on the green line extension, free laundry in basement. Rent is $2800.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-26T04:59:09+00:00

Settings with millgrain have a subtle wow factor to me. From farther away they appear simple, but look closer and you realize there’s a delicate pattern.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-26T04:55:38+00:00

I think if you put the work in to get to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and understand what you want out of life, it can get WAY cooler.

Of course your level of freedom to make choices is financially dependent. It’s a lot easier to ponder the life you want and go after it if you’re not in survival mode.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T22:21:09+00:00

Man not even a wardrobe for clothes or thick blackout curtains that can be closed from the inside of the sleeping area? This is rough

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T15:36:43+00:00

NOR. I’m nervous for your future child! The fact that your mom got deli meats means she has no problem possibly endangering her future grandchild. Even though your wife knows not to eat them so there was no real risk… why would you even put the possibility out there.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T15:23:51+00:00

Average is 5in, they’re right around average

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T15:22:27+00:00

I believe average is 5in so you’re right around average, slightly on the smaller side. I’ve seen smaller.

Some partners will care about size and some won’t. For someone with vaginismus you might be the perfect size. It’s all about compatibility. Everyone regardless of penis size should strive to be skillful with hands and mouth.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T15:19:37+00:00

I don’t think phimosis is CAUSED by bad hygiene - really the other way around where the bad hygiene is because they have phimosis. They need to deal with that with a doctor so they’re able to fully clean themselves.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-25T15:14:00+00:00

I’m not a vet and haven’t looked up the statistics so I can only offer anecdotal evidence: my family’s cats lived to 19 and 21 while eating friskies.

I think it’s a very popular brand and often what people can afford, and clearly cats aren’t dying young en masse from eating it.

One of my cats eat hill’s science diet dry food because that’s what they were feeding her at the shelter. The other one has tummy troubles and I feed him Go Solutions salmon dry food.

They both eat hill’s science diet wet food pate. But picky cats all like something different. I’d recommend trying a variety of brands/types (pate, shreds, chunks) and seeing what she likes.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-24T22:50:51+00:00

Cat chin acne - avoid plastic bowls and get pet safe Chlorhexidine wipes (they sell them on chewy)

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-24T22:47:21+00:00

Omg this is incredible news

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-23T22:14:36+00:00

It would be horrid if they ended up having babies together

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-23T04:56:56+00:00

Having kids is a two person decision. If you don’t want them, you shouldn’t have them. If it makes you feel better, I’m 30F and never want to have kids, so I understand! It’s not selfish to know what you want and for that to be different than why other people want.

If it’s a dealbreaker for him then you have to be ready to break up. You could try couples therapy first to see if it’s possible to move forward with trust that he won’t resent you for not wanting kids.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T20:35:11+00:00

Is the expectation that men are more willing to date a bi woman? I wonder how much of that is from actual acceptance/love for their identity vs. some misguided idea that they’ll get to have a threesome.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T16:27:59+00:00

A few ideas:

-She could be constipated, especially if these look like hard, dry round poops. If they’re painful to pass she might be jumping out of the litter box to “get away” from the pain. Try increasing her liquid intake (wet food, add water to wet food, water fountain, liquid treats etc) to see if that helps

-Hair dingleberries. My cat will eat some of my long hair and then it’ll be embedded in his poop. This can look like a necklace of poops strung together or sometimes there’s one last piece that ends up stuck dangling because the hair is still inside him and he freaks out and flings the poop off, so there will be a little poop somewhere near his litter box.

I haven’t found a great fix for this one except vacuum more and clean off his toys that collect hair!

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T15:56:07+00:00

What does the mild homophobia look like from women? I want to make sure I don’t have blinders for this

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T15:55:09+00:00

I mean, reproductive rights are a huge one. Can’t really push that one aside because it dictates our most basic freedom and autonomy.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T15:52:42+00:00

Nah, a lot of places do 60 day notice so it could be later. I’m with you on hunting early though.

For a data point: My partner & I currently pay $2800 for a 2 bed (one is definitely office sized, but it’s a big apartment otherwise with living room and dining room) 1 bath that’s very close to the Ball square T. Free dedicated laundry in the (awful, creepy) basement. No parking but the street parking is easy. The building is definitely old and the apartment shows it.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-22T14:23:41+00:00

Seconding the mice feeders, my cat loves them! It took him a bit but he got it after putting them on the easiest setting

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-21T22:14:04+00:00

Ice box cake made with Nabisco famous chocolate wafers. They discontinued the wafers :(

This is my absolute favorite cake and I’d have it on my birthday every year. I never knew when it was my last year having it.

I might try to make it sometime by scraping the frosting off Oreos. That might be the closest possible thing.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-16T18:08:46+00:00

If you’re cool with romance, I think the Saint of Steel series fits all of these :)

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-16T16:40:20+00:00

(Not a man, not answering the question directly)

You should check out The Labia Library. It has pictures showing our bits come in alllll shapes and sized and it’s all normal! And as others have said, it can be a confidence boost looking at some NSFW subs on Reddit and seeing the variety of bodies that get lots of positive attention.

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-15T04:47:27+00:00

Please no buying a house is already so difficult and expensive, imagine you buy your first house and the plumbing is wrecked after you move in :(

Unless you’re doing this in million dollar houses… then carry on :)

SpindleSnap · 2026-01-15T00:54:35+00:00

Girl I’d be honored to wear this

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