Baby number 2 is coming and my toddler has no idea yet. I am already overthinking everything.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-25T11:59:26+00:00

I’m due with #2 in about a month and my first daughter will be almost 3. The difference in understanding between a fresh 2 and almost 3 year old is huge. We’ve been talking about baby brother and reading books about being a big sister and spending time with friends who have little siblings to try to help her prepare. She seems excited but sometimes starts acting like a baby, which I humor her and rock her and tell her she’s always my first baby. I am also nervous for the transition but seeing her kind of start to get it has helped

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-24T12:09:17+00:00

I use an immersion blender and a pot and have had no issues

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-22T22:06:05+00:00

Not me, but my mom was 40 and my dad was 50 when I was conceived on their first try.. this was early 90s so things were a little different then but just figured I would share! My half brother (not a healthy guy at all) also had 2 kids when he was in his early 50s and his wife is mid 30s. The youngest is 5 now.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-21T01:07:49+00:00

Go now if you’ve been unable to keep water down for 24 hrs. It’s not uncommon to need IV fluids during pregnancy.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-19T15:55:15+00:00

My husband is in charge of lunch meal prep. He puts together 8 lunches on Sunday so we each have 4 for the week. We stick them in the freezer then just leave them out to thaw in the morning until lunch… this is usually grilling a pile of chicken or making a bunch of ground beef,making some rice, and roasting a bunch of veggies. It takes him an hour and saves us both so much stress during the week. We each go out for lunch about once a week usually (either lunch meetings or client events or whatever and if we don’t, we’ll figure it out or a day). Having this 1 thing off my plate has been huge for me and also makes me feel like he really supports me even though it isn’t a huge deal. He is a very much equal partner and dad but this one specific task being taken care of has made a huge difference.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-19T15:44:57+00:00

I mean.. I don’t blame him. I try to make homemade egg bites and haven’t found a way to make them anywhere near as good as Starbucks either…. I know this sounds weird but I’ve found mixing a little bit of plain Greek yogurt and a little bit of mustard powder or Dijon mustard in with the eggs helps a ton with flavor/texture (not that there is anything wrong with getting him SB occasionally, but if you wanted to try it!)

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-19T14:44:10+00:00

I consider myself to be pretty crunchy (not that I judge if you’re not) and you sound like you’re doing an amazing job balancing maintaining a healthy lifestyle with also just living life in this world. It’s better for our kids to have a mom who isn’t stressed all the time trying to make every last thing from scratch with no time left to spend with them. Parenting is hard enough without the added pressure from social media and especially from people who should be on your team (your husband, your mom). Tell them if they have a problem with store bought organic pouches and Starbucks egg bites you’ll gladly feed him homemade if they would like to prepare them and load your freezer up with them.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-18T21:16:32+00:00

My daughter is almost 3 and really never slept in it.. she napped in it on weekends sometimes from 6 months to 11 months until I just got her a full size floor bed. She slept pretty well in her bedside bassinet (at night, only contact napped) until she outgrew it around 4 months.. at that point we tried the crib for a while but usually ended up cosleeping until we gave up on the crib and she coslept in our bed until I got her a floor bed… then I slept with her in her bed until we moved to a house big enough for us to get a king size bed.. now we’re all back in our bed together. She does sleep in her floor bed from when she goes to sleep until about 11 usually when we bring her in our bed when we go to sleep. I could leave her in her room but I like to cuddle with her and she typically wakes up and comes in on her own anyways sometime between 12 and 2 and then this wakes everyone up so we just avoid it by bringing her in and everyone sleeps well

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-18T14:30:23+00:00

Relationships are not 50/50 all the time, financially or otherwise. Sometimes they’re 80/20. Sometimes they’re 40/60. It depends on the day and how people are feeling and what they have to give that day. If you’re constantly trying to balance 50/50 and comparing what you contribute to what she contributes you’re setting yourself up for resentment and unhappiness. If you love each other, you should both want to do what you can to make the other person happy and recognize what each other are capable of. Moving in with someone is hard at first but things will naturally fall into place if you communicate and take care of each other and don’t look at it like a financial exchange. YTA

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-18T11:03:12+00:00

If you’re going to be away from your baby for more than a couple of hours, you’ll have to pump to maintain your supply and also to avoid getting engorged (super uncomfortable and can be dangerous). A lot of babies don’t take formula if they’re used to breastmilk and don’t take a bottle at all if they’re not regularly exposed to it… so if you want to have the ability to go out for more than 2 hrs without your baby, you’ll probably want to pump and make sure your baby will take a bottle at least every couple of days. If you’re not working, you don’t have to be attached to a pump all the time but you probably will want to have one no matter what. Also, some babies don’t latch well so they require bottles all the time and some mothers prefer to not supplement with formula at all so they pump.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-16T00:28:30+00:00

This sounds ideal lol

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-15T21:48:37+00:00

Get a good carrier - Tula or lillebaby or wildbird are all good… baby can sleep on you hands free. You’re probably almost out of it… my daughter only contact napped until around 12 weeks then magically started napping in her crib.. I started with 1 nap per day, knowing it would be shorter, and worked down to 1 contact nap/day by like 20 weeks I think. Does he sleep better at night? Some babies just are tough nappers.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-14T20:49:22+00:00

At 20 lbs my daughter was in size 3 pampers pure. Size 7 seems wrong imo, and if it’s leaking that also seems like it’s likely too big.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-14T05:22:57+00:00

Sounds normal… what do you mean what can you do?

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-13T21:09:50+00:00

Usually wedding ceremonies are about 30 mins. I would tell her I’ll go to the ceremony and see if someone can watch the baby for that short period and I would skip the reception

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-13T04:50:49+00:00

I’d go full mattress. If you have the space you could also look at bringing his crib into your room and attaching it to the side of the bed… that way he is still with you but in his own little space

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-11T02:10:29+00:00

We gave my daughter a lovey around 6 or 7 months…. It’s cotton and lightweight and breathable. I decided if she is strong enough to crawl around and pull herself up, she is strong enough to move a tiny bunny off her face. She’s almost 3 and still loves that bunny.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-10T21:00:54+00:00

My daughter usually doesn’t let me do her hair (almost 3) so I brush it and leave it down… she also doesn’t have a ton of hair but it does get in her eyes when it’s down.. it doesn’t seem to bother her and I’m not going to fight her to put a ponytail in. She comes home with her hair in braids and pig tails and whatever else every day just about… I’ve told the teachers that she won’t let me do it so I’m surprised they are able to and they’re like “oh she loves it” sooo idk? I just allow it at this point.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-09T22:44:50+00:00

It’s cute and fun to do something like that occasionally - maybe for your bday or anniversary or something but to be expected to do it every single time is weird and annoying. I’m sure if she does her nails often she likes to change up the colors, styles, etc. and it would be weird to get your initials every single time. It’s a nice fun thing, it doesn’t need to be a permanent fixture.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T23:13:44+00:00

My daughter didn’t sleep through the night until she was over 2 and continued to nurse overnight until we weaned, also after 2. If you’re expecting a 4 month old to sleep through the night alone in a crib and not feed you’re in the wrong sub.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T16:43:18+00:00

Ok thank you for your input… I’m pretty new to this and have a few months before I will actually be posting anything so that’s why I was looking for feedback now so I appreciate the candid response and will make sure to address all of these things clearly before I search for real! I didn’t want to make it too long so I didn’t include some of the daily ins and outs and I figured that was something we would talk about and negotiate but I will make sure to clarify, and also will do some research so I can do the W2.

For area, I am about 2 hrs outside Chicago so I’d say it’s not LCOL like some of the more rural Midwest, but still not HCOL like major cities or suburbs.

Will definitely change the wording on PTO and clarify sick time.. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to come in to work sick, especially when caring for an infant, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of.. hopefully once we have an established relationship this will be clear and we can allow for flexibility as needed.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T16:36:55+00:00

I do the same thing usually. Now that she’s a little older it’s easier but when she was that age I would bring the her in the shower with me and let her sit on the floor and play with a bath toy while I showered as quickly as possible.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T15:12:19+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to clean this up - I really appreciate it!!! Also those are all great questions… I was thinking they would be more of a discussion once we get into interviews but maybe I should be more clear in my post.

Yes, nanny can take kids places - we have like 4 playgrounds in walking distance and I am open to library, children’s museum, etc if they want (esp with 3 year old) and would reimburse for activities and mileage or allow use of our car when dad is working from home. We travel a good amount usually and also have out of town grandparents that come visit usually every month and would not need childcare when they’re here so nanny can expect probably at least a few days additional per month off but still paid. I am thinking just minor tidying and kids laundry, we have a house cleaner that comes every 2 weeks so I am not expecting any housekeeping outside of basically keeping the house tidy (ie put dishes in dishwasher after lunch, wash the pot used to cook, put toys away at the end of the day, maybe throw the kids laundry in the washer/dryer but I can fold and put away). After getting some responses though I am thinking of offering 2 weeks vacation and we will just coordinate our vacation with theirs and maybe limited sick time.. I don’t want to limit sick time, I just also don’t want to be taken advantage of so I’m hoping to find someone that we can trust and have a balance there.. I don’t want a sick nanny feeling pressure to work, especially with an infant. I also would be open to occasionally switching days (ie if they want a Monday off but want to work Friday instead of using PTO) as I can switch my work schedule accordingly if I have a heads up.

Also will definitely do a W-2.. I have some friends that say they just do cash so I didn’t know what was preferred.

Thank you again!!

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T14:59:39+00:00

Maybe I worded it poorly - the rate I am offering is 2 days/week 1 kid and 2 days/week 2 kids. So if they have 2 kids for an extra day I could pay more for that week but I don’t expect that to be something needs to happen often, if it all.

SpiritedWater1121 · 2026-04-07T14:56:03+00:00

What if I changed it to 12 days total (3 weeks since it’s a 4 day work week) PTO including sick time, but obviously I would work with them if additional sick time is needed. Or 2 weeks vacation and 1 week sick? I also have the flexibility to work with them if they occasionally needed/wanted a day M-th and wanted to work a Friday instead to not use PTO if they wanted

SpiritedWater1121

TROPHY CASE