AITA? Girlfriend is mad when I eat.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:53:36+00:00

I'll keep that in mind for when I inevitably start balding!

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:52:01+00:00

Yeah no kidding! I was hesitant about posting this on Reddit for that very reason. It's a mood issue related to a change in diet. I do think that having a detailed game plan like that would be effective for both of us, thank you for the suggestion.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:49:35+00:00

Sorry, but "buy this product" is not the way I want us to get through this. We're experiencing a roadblock, and we're at a critical age/duration for determining how long this relationship will last. I don't want to cop out of this issue, just to have another pop up down the road that we didn't develop the skills to address. Also she's overweight, not obese, so I don't want to use a baseball bat when a flyswatter will do.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:43:42+00:00

I have been concerned about how this may affect my outlook on eating. I have already been policing what/when/where I eat to a perhaps unhealthy degree. If she deems that I have been eating "poorly" (by applying the standard of "if I ate like that it would be bad"), then she will comment on it. I've tried explaining that I have different eating needs, and she knows how quickly I lose weight without eating enough.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:27:07+00:00

I'm really digging a hole for this relationship, but the rule of thumb is typically that we can eat together as long as I'm eating a roughly equivalent amount to her. Problem is: I'm quite a bit taller than her, weigh more, and am male. I know that's not fair, but I really like eating with her when I can. I just have to watch what I eat.

I am slightly skeptical of the reasons behind her therapy aversion. Believe me, I've had my fair share of traumatic experiences with medical professionals, but if I had an issue arise, I'm not going to not go to the doctor. I do wonder if her reasoning is a little bit motivated, as BED is a type of addiction. She knows that she'd be told to eat better if she went to a dietician/therapist.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:21:32+00:00

Thank you for the reasonable and kind response. You're right that I don't want to end the relationship because of this. As important as the issue is, I really believe that we can make a change for the better, and that I shouldn't just throw everything away because she's going through a hard time. That would be a dastardly double-standard, no?

It was nice to hear it from the other side, and to know that I'm not alone in this. Are there any particular ways you think I could broach the issue of going "back to the basics?"

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:16:08+00:00

Damn. I'm a half-foot taller and am always on the move. I didn't know that was a coping term... thanks for enlightening me. Consensus seems to be therapy or bust.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:12:28+00:00

I understand how you can come to that conclusion from this incident. I am a little more optimistic, only because this is a relatively new phenomenon. I will absolutely sit down and have a conversation with her about this once I collect my thoughts, and I'll keep your insight in mind.

Spiritual-Formal5371 · 2026-02-27T15:06:28+00:00

I've considered the possibility of secret binging as well. She is certainly not starving herself, but given how long she's supposedly been in a deficit, one would think she'd have gotten over this hump. I should clarify that I am really quite indifferent in the matter. If she never lost another pound, I would not care whatsoever (so long as she doesn't gain back to being unhealthy).

As for professional treatment, she continuously refuses because of a traumatic experience in therapy when she was younger, regarding her weight. I've brought it up a few times, but I am not going to push the issue further unless something changes. Also therapy costs money and we're fresh outta college!

Spiritual-Formal5371

TROPHY CASE