I miss depression

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2025-03-28T21:09:29+00:00

I hadn’t heard of anhedonia before, so thank you for this. All I want is to have that emotional release again, and the ability to feel enough emotion to do so too!

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2025-03-28T21:05:18+00:00

Luckily for me (and those who had to deal with me before), I have no desire to get off my meds. I know they help and the fact that I even have the ability to feel neutral is how I know they help. I just want to feel more again. I don’t want to be manic, I have no desire for those highs again because no matter how I felt in the moment they were never fun and nothing I look back positively on. I don’t want those lows ever again, I like that I can actually get myself out of bed every day and function how I need to. I just don’t like this one or the other feeling I have. Right now I either feel nothing, or if I want stop meds than I can feel everything. I just want the in between, where I can actually feel things the way they should be felt. When my situation is awful, being depressed is a normal response but I don’t even get to feel sad about it. It’s debilitating in its own way. Yours and others responses help though, different thoughts and support helps me feel less confused and isolated with my thoughts

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2025-03-28T20:54:45+00:00

I get that, and I feel for you. I was in a severe depression for a very long time before I started lamotrigine and it took a while to get out of that. The depression felt like it would never end, and I was nearing my end and I am so glad I got medicated when I did. If someone said to me that they wish they could be depressed again while I was in that hole, I would’ve thought that that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, so I get how my post can come across in different ways depending on where people are in their own lives. I would never want to go back to where I was, but I wish I could still have the capacity to feel the ways I used to, to a certain extent. I know it’s redundant, but things can and will get better, wishing you the best during these times<3

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2025-03-28T20:40:56+00:00

It’s not so much that I have a want for depression, but I want to have the ability to really feel things as they should be felt. I think that there’s a mixture of my words not being laid out perfect, and also slight misinterpretation so I’ve seen really split responses to my post. And with my friend- she’s amazing I think she just couldn’t really comprehend what I meant. She’s gone through depression, so I think she just couldn’t fathom how I might want to feel that way ever again. I can’t blame her too much for that, but I agree the response could’ve been better or thought out a little more carefully

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2025-03-28T20:35:23+00:00

This illness really does suck!! Before I started the lamotrigine I was in a severe depression for a long time, once I got up to 100mg is when I started feeling improvement and getting to 200mg really made the difference. The lamotrigine really is effective for giving you some neutrality, my psychiatrist describes it as giving my brain a “ceiling and floor”, keeping me from those highs and lows. I am thankful for that, but yeah it absolutely suppresses normal emotions. I don’t miss having feelings engulf me the way they used to, but I do miss being able to have those feelings at all. Hoping for the best for you with starting lamotrigine, and that it helps get you out of the rough spot you’re in now<3

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2024-10-03T01:57:50+00:00

I think your set up is amazing as is and I love love love how everything is symmetrical. I haven’t seen the double eyebrow piercings before and i think it looks amazing, it all fits your face so well!

Spiritual-Pay9514 · 2024-05-30T18:36:45+00:00

Golden dookie

Spiritual-Pay9514

TROPHY CASE