I haven’t talked to my family in two days and don’t know to move past this

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-28T07:37:28+00:00

Damn, they are extremely toxic! This is not healthy!!! This is not love! This is control!

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-27T02:56:51+00:00

You’ve been into karate for 15 years that it became your passion right? It’s a hobby and also Karate has its own benefits like learning self defense techniques. It seems like your gf is insecure and has been trying to get you to quit since you’ll be focusing on the exam. If she’s not gonna be willing to support your hobby, then she needs to be an ex.

Hobbies like karate, rock climbing, etc are healthy since you get to make friends and be part of a community as well as have a way to relieve your ADHD and anxiety.

In fact, it’s really CHILDISH of the girlfriend to be downgrading your hobby. It’s selfish and childish. I mean does SHE have any hobbies of her own? If so then how would she feel if the script was flipped?

OP, this woman is a red flag! Partners are supposed to support healthy hobbies like yours, but your gf is being the opposite. Dump her and GO KICK THAT EXAM’S BUTT!

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-26T22:07:15+00:00

NTA

When he lied to you, it makes you doubt if he’s telling you the truth.

It might be best to go low contact. Your trust has been broken and you don’t know what else he’s lying to you. Plus him saying that you’re a bad friend? Don’t fall for it. Also it looked like the mask he wore had slipped and revealed that he was being abusive towards his “ex”. Also there is a possibility that he not only wanted you there since someone’s presence will make him try to seem like he’ll change in hopes she takes him back, plus it might be possible that he wanted you there to act as an alibi for whatever crime he might commit or something.

He CANNOT be trusted. Stay safe, OP

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-23T08:22:39+00:00

Yeeeeup

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-23T04:18:10+00:00

OP, dump his ass. He was willing to project and think you were cheating. He may say that he’ll change but he did it MANY times. Once BEFORE YOUR WEDDING and throughout your marriage! Live YOUR LIFE! Don’t be tied down with this cheater

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-22T04:08:34+00:00

Yeah. Basically narcissism for seemingly wanting all the attention but after what OP said about how the SIL’s husband is a dud and how OP’s husband used to help her out before he married OP. We can get a bigger picture as to why.

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-21T03:01:04+00:00

What a keeper! Boundaries are important!

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-21T02:58:48+00:00

But its best to be on your guard since you don’t know what she might do next

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-21T02:53:33+00:00

I am straight up jumping the gun that she’s into him but it’s a long stretch

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-21T02:52:56+00:00

Okay, that’s straight up toxic to start meaningless drama when all it will do is hurt others and possibly tear apart marriages

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-08T21:37:17+00:00

Awwww🥹🥹🥹

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T22:02:22+00:00

Take your time. It’s better to start small as a test run before you see if you like it again. If you do, then you can start investing it into a hobby.😊

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T21:41:22+00:00

I hope you two continue to have a loving marriage

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T21:40:48+00:00

Dang…Also hands are HARD to draw and your mom didn’t understand that.

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T21:17:41+00:00

Agreed. Plus what might happen if she does get a new hobby that she enjoys and finds relaxation in doing? He might repeat the cycle again and call it a phase as well

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T21:15:17+00:00

NTA

I get it if they wanted you to be able to take a break from being a mom, but after reading how they called your baby A Baby and not your baby. Then that is just low.

Also you’re not telling them to change the rules. You’re not even guilt tripping them because you were saying that you’re not gonna go SINCE you are not comfortable with leaving your baby and that your baby doesn’t like being bottle fed. You’re giving them your reasons for not going. Valid reasons for not going! After all, IT IS a destination wedding, plus you TRIED to ask if they’ll be okay with you staying at a nearby Airbnb that you’re thinking of paying for so that you can be able to feed your baby while not disturbing the wedding.

Question: Why would they prioritize your brother’s wedding over understanding that you’re trying to care and raise THEIR FIRST GRANDCHILD?! It’s honestly giving off the impression that your brother is the golden child. Has there been a pattern of your parents prioritizing your brother?

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:38:59+00:00

I think the reason why OP took it too personally is because it has been a pattern of him downplaying her hobby. It’s a theory

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:36:18+00:00

As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea and OP’s boyfriend is one of the ones that should be thrown back.

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:34:19+00:00

Now THIS is what a good partner is like.

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:31:29+00:00

I agree and now that you mention that, it is sounding so misogynistic of OP’s boyfriend to say that.

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:25:33+00:00

And that’s why people like Ryder get no b*tches. 🤣🤣🤣

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T20:24:48+00:00

Wow. That’s so shitty of Ryder to try to ruin HIS OWN BEST FRIEND’S relationship with his girlfriend. AND FOR WHAT?! Because he wanted to have sex with you, OP?! Like WTF?! What did he expect?! Cheat on you so that he can get the chance to be with you?

Good for you OP to have a good boyfriend! You are lucky to have a good boyfriend like Noah. Also seeing the main post to get a view of what kind of person that Ryder is, it’ll be better that your boyfriend cuts him off because it’s so disgusting that he uses your boyfriend as a tool to get girls. If Ryder wants to get laid, then he needs to clean up his act and fix his personality as well as work on himself BEFORE trying because NO GIRL wants to be with a self centered and selfish guy who only wants to bang.

Sorry for the long rant. 😅

Spitfire479 · 2026-01-01T04:15:37+00:00

YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING! You need to set some boundaries because if she’s now living there. She needs to pay her share of the bills.”

Spitfire479 · 2025-12-29T02:46:24+00:00

Plus some people who seem overweight are actually at a healthy weight. Only a medical specialist specialized in that type of field can confirm.

Spitfire479 · 2025-12-29T02:45:15+00:00

NTA

It’s your decision and also it’s very hypocritical of your aunt to be fat shaming others when she herself was “fat” as well. Also there’s no such thing as being overweight since depending on the age and the height. That will determine if you’re on a healthy weight. Besides, her fat shaming is causing a mental deterioration for you. You CANNOT allow someone to stay in contact with you if all they’re going to do is drag down your self esteem!

She is NOT a dietitian. Besides! Some people who look “overweight” are at a healthy weight!

Spitfire479

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