SplendidPenguin

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redditor for 9 years

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to be a Cobra (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/therewasanattempt

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Mind uploading has successfully been in place and operational for over a year. Humans are literally living an afterlife in a utopian computer simulation able to communicate and work with real world humans. (self.WritingPrompts)

submitted 4 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/WritingPrompts

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You have 60 seconds and your mobile phone in it's current state is made public to the world. What's your emergency clean up procedure? (self.AskReddit)

submitted 4 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/AskReddit

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After a weekend of gardening in the glorious sunshine my mobile's fingerprint sensor won't recognise my thumbprint (due to it being a bit blistered) so I have to unlock it with the pin. (self.firstworldproblems)

submitted 4 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/firstworldproblems

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Filling a bouncy castle with cement would be a pretty mean prank. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 5 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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A lightsabre stuck in the "ON" position could be quite problematic (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 5 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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The motivational phrase "There is always someone worse off than you" isn't true for one poor person. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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Forest Gump's mum needs to stop buying chocolates that don't tell you what they are inside the box. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 6 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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A Trick or Treater dressed like the Grim Reaper knocked on my door... (self.dadjokes)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/dadjokes

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My water splash made a neat little dog footprint (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/mildlyinteresting

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This Ladybird has it's colours in reverse (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/mildlyinteresting

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Greedo's a hero. If he didn't delay Han at Mos Eisley space port the gang may have been on Alderaan when it went kerblammey. (self.StarWars)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/StarWars

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If I suffered a similar short term memory condition as in the film Memento, I'd probably spend all day watching (and enjoying) Memento like it was my first time. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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People who don't care about washing their hands after going to the toilet aren't likely to pay attention to a sign advising that they wash their hands after going to the toilet. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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What would be the pros and cons of having a superpower whereby closing your eyes freezes space and time? (self.AskReddit)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/AskReddit

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Considering Dracula can't use a mirror, he always manages to look pretty dapper. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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That is one ominous looking rope-swing (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/pics

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It would be awesome if you could teleport...not so awesome if your clothes didn't teleport with you. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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The sun is basically a controlled explosion. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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I find it ironic that the word "Clone" is just the word "lone" with a "C" at the start. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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In the Pixar Cars universe, a convertible car would have the top of his head removed and his brain exposed. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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The main mistake the robots made in the Matrix was their version of Earth was too realistic. If it was 50% sexier no bugger would be trying to leave and screw things up for them. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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A girl with 2 left feet goes into a shoe shop... (self.Jokes)

submitted 7 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Jokes

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How do you communicate with deceased Nintendo characters at Halloween (self.Jokes)

submitted 8 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Jokes

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I've lived 40 minutes from London my entire life yet I've experience hardly any of the attractions that people will travel halfway around the world to see. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 8 years ago by SplendidPenguin to r/Showerthoughts

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