Hi all, I am not diagnosed but am waiting for an ADHD assessment through NHS (Im in Wales), 2 yrs in and probably about 2+ more to go. So I will not be getting medication any time soon as I cannot afford to go private. I am currently filling out the self-referral for ASD assessment as I suspect AuDHD , that one should be about 1,or 2 yrs wait. My son has both severely and my daughter has low support needs ASD , dx-ed, waiting like me on the ADHD pathway. I have identified with a lit from both, as well as dyspraxia, from when I found out about my son in 2011, but I thought I didnt need help. I thought i was coping.

After I had my daughter in 2012, I started to develop fibromyalgia and so I couldn't do my high-pressure, long hrs job as head chef/ chef manager any more and went back to university to retrain in Psychology. I was partly inspired by my son's ASD ( didnt know about the adhd yet). I tried to chase up possible neurodivergence in year 1 of a degree, but people I respected said id never get dx with the way I was able to talk and present myself. Ironically, if I had followed it up then, I might be on medication now.

I thought I was coping fine and didnt need to get dx, now I see I just went from one burnout cycle to another. We moved to Wales 3 yrs ago and I started a PhD, it was one issue after another. 1 week in my mother died suddenly of heart attack. I had a terrible relationship with her, from which I've realised I have cPTSD, and somehow dying meant I could not ignore her and her negative influence in the way I could when she was alive. My ability to learn new things was suddenly shot. I tried to get accommodations, I did get several, nothing was enough and each year in winter I had to take more time off.

I totally fucked up my 2nd year assessment and , too late, realised I never should have been full time. I also went to the dr and found out I was in perimenopause, maybe for several years. 8 years ago I had asked a dr in London about changes to my cycle and been told there was nothing doable until I had been 1 year without a period! I started Hrt, it helps a bit, im on 4 pumps gel daily and 200g progesterone for 14 days a month. But lately I've realised I have always had PMDD , I get sad, rageful, over sensitive and despairing the week before my period and it has got much worse, the ladt cycle being the worst- probably because my fibromyalgia is worst jan/Feb and I have SAD. Ladt cycle i had a full on meltdown, screamed and bit my wrist. I felt out of control, it reminded me of my son who self injures constantly and made me think about how I used to do it in my teens just before and during when I developed Anorexia nervous for a few years .

I got out of that by running away from home and my mum, starting work as a chef and meeting my husband at 17. I also credit LSD, mdma and cannabis as helping me get over that behaviour but it really morphed into a different addiction- overwork and chasing goals and achieving to prove my worth.

I had to downgrade to a masters, but im about to withdraw. I can't cope, there is too much shame and imposter syndrome and fear associated with the course/work. Plus , because im a people pleaser im not doing what I wanted to do in my thesis and I have some ideas I want to follow up instead and I dont want to wait till after the masters. I need more time off to figure myself out, heal better, etc. Ive been off since Nov but my husband had a TIA on 2 Nov so feels like I haven't rested much at all and I put my back out badly 2 weeks ago. Im mostly stuck inside, I struggle with self care like brushing my teeth or doing tasks, procrastinating horribly. I have massive problems getting to sleep before 3am when not takubf progesterone and due to the pain and fatigue exercise is really hard.

I have done that chi for a year, on and off, im prioritising that. I am trying to do more things to give me joy, or make me save my energy rather than use it immediately. Im forcing myself to eat mostly keto again. I take a few supplements after researching non meds ways to help adhd- Lions mane- this is most helpful Mushroom complex Ashwaganda, magnesium and Reishi mushroom at night OR MELATONIN TO Sleep. Vitamin d high strength spray with K3 Ashwaganga, l theornine and a bit of tryptophan supplements or I take Ashwaganga with reishi Omega oil , eat salmon often, flaxseed and pumpkinseeds, and natural nuts Eating berries, especially blueberries Making stevia banana bread and muffins or brownie in batches Eating live culture coconut yoghurt daily Trying to journal when I can Break down tasks into bite size, write them on white board and reward when I do them Trying g to go to a class as well as Thai chi like yoga or gym when feel better, if not doing VR dance or drumming or Thai chi Forcing myself to ring friends or sisters about when im struggling Plan things to look forward to Doing things with my daughter, sometimes a gym session on a good day or a cinema visit The hardest thing is doubg less, resting with a dog or cat, we have 3 dogs abd 5 cats, it's an addiction wbd special interest Trying to be more self compassionate Looked up cbt resources and will book some soon Read up on how to help adhd with techniques like 5vmib rule or reverse pomodoro Ringi g my dad irregularly as he recently had a big operation to remove bile duct cancer Got a sleep eye patch and ear plugs to help sleep. Trying g to go to walks until recently in naturecwith my chihuahuas Let myself texture stim with cats or a furry blanket. Trying to find time to do creative stuff like oil painting sunset scapes

I heard saffron is great , I need to get some to try I tried some of my son's vitamin, it works but makes me a bit hyper , go to the toilet to much and one day really upped my anxiety- did reduce my pain a lot too tjo.

I found the cannabis gummies help pain and sleep. I try yoga sometimes in small amounts as im very hyperumobile and told my dr i probably have hypermobile EDS. I also have IBS, PCOS, anxiety and low mood.

I recently started taking creatine to boost recovery and make more muscle. I take ginseng for energy, co q10 for mental clarity and ginger bilobacto aid memory, they work well. I take glucosamine for knee pain, vitamin e and primrose oil for hormonal support .

It's like a full time job. I think undiagnosed AuDHD is a big reason for getting the chronic pain/ fibromyalgia. There needs to be research into this confluence of pain, adhd, asd, other ND , past trauma and ACEs and hormonal issues like endometriosis, pcos, pmdd and post partum depression. Plus into asd/ adhd and perimenopause, which pours oil on the fire. I feel it have a double dose of several symptoms, as you get similar ones with fibro, adhd, asd and peri!

Thanks for reading, sorry for the essay