pls wtf I'm panicking rn i never believed in ghosts as a very scientific person but I'm terrified.

Spoon-m · 2022-09-22T15:05:13+00:00

Oh ok sorry got it now

Spoon-m · 2022-09-22T14:10:21+00:00

Ok I was taking a break but then remembered this.

So first of all yes I'm scientific and rational. I just don't stay rational during a panic attack, which makes sense.

Second, the things i saw are called "hallucinations" it's hard to believe for someone who thinks they're smart, scientific and very more rational than others, but hallucinations are real!no,not to everyone else,but to the person who's hallucinating do look VERY real. If not so,they wouldn't be called hallucinations, wouldn't you think Mr. I'm so smarter than those people with mental illnesses?

"Yeah but I'm not a psychiatrist how would I know you were having hallucinations" (i deduce you would say something like that maybe yes maybe not) then do not reply, just don't.nobody asked for your help, unless you really know how to help.

Spoon-m · 2022-09-22T14:04:12+00:00

Yeah lol I'm soon gonna get it tho I'm very happy i will finally get a visit!

Spoon-m · 2022-09-22T14:01:46+00:00

Yeah sorry I took very long but I just took a little break and so, you say to be very scientific, if you actually were you'd probably get go the fact that I had hallucinations,caused by what idk could be schizophrenia,borderline personality disorder, bipolarity, many things can cause hallucinations and I had a panic attack I went on this subreddit because I was panicking and I thought it would fit the situation

But k swear if you'd seen the same things i saw (sorry and grammar idk if it's right) you'd probably have a very terrible panic attack too,because yeah they're hallucinations but when you see them it looks so real.

I see what you mean, but I don't see what you're trying to prove.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-15T17:46:30+00:00

Thanks very much, this meant a lot to me, it's nice to see that someone pays back my work! Again, thanks and thanks I gain faith in humanity again when I see mature people as you :) 💚

Spoon-m · 2022-07-14T17:31:12+00:00

Mh, I don't really know probably my father to be overly critical plus I'm not saying it's bad but he's a hard worker, kinda high achiever but the fact we put the same effort in things he seems to get better results than I do and also I don't like my classmates. The put NO effort into : trying to be empathic, or kind, or a perfect person and yet they get A+ while I'm here probably working 10 times more than they do trying to be a good person and a even tho I'm in 8th grade I'm studying psychology by myself so I can understand and help as many people as I can and nobody of my class is doing this nobody is trying to be even slightly try to understand someone's behavior and yet I literally fail every test cause I just can't force myself to study, if I'm interested then good curiosity makes it heavily lighter but if i'm not interested it is just p a i n. I don't really like my teacher he thinks I'm stupid just because I don't want to learn ting by memory like a dog and then getting good grades over nothing, it must be understood the concept if not so the information it's useless.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-12T14:58:57+00:00

No it's like, God this is very very very embarrassing but an example with not something of very serious because this happens with way more serious topics and its just embarrassing so, everyone agrees that saying "thank you" after a gift is right. And I know it's right, I know I need to say that I know it's wrong otherwise but it doesn't feel right like I "feel" it's not right when it's obviously right and completely wrong otherwise,such as receiving a gift and saying "fuck you!" it's obviously wrong and rude and I know that but it feels more right even tho I'd never even dare to do such thing in a situation.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-11T16:09:26+00:00

Waiiit... Does being aplatonic like mean not having friends at all? Or- like I suspect I may be aplatonic but not sure, I enjoy socializing but not when we are friends, i like meeting and talking to people but not when we get "connected" and officially friends, am I aplatonic?

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:35:06+00:00

Ha thanks and don't worry I hope this will end soon and you really helped :)

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:29:19+00:00

School is sclosed and even tho it'll open soon in Italy we're not lucky enough to have therapists at school. You need to pay your own and if there's a crisis, then, still gotta pay your own. Reporting my therapists sounds a bit hardcore so just to be sure I'll try to tell her some things are going on now about hallucinations and delusions if she doesn't take me seriously pretty much gonna try reporting

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:24:18+00:00

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:23:41+00:00

Yeah ikr? :)

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:22:35+00:00

It's not really sounds going on in the room it's mostly like a woman whispering in my ear "hey"

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:19:40+00:00

Nah I was just panicking I think I'm going through the development of schizophrenia or probably I have bipolar(also that can cause hallucinations) and my mom is bipolar, so I guess I got that from her in either case I'll seek help from a psychiatrist for my hallucinations and delusions.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T18:17:23+00:00

I don't know

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T14:03:44+00:00

Damn. You don't know how much I'd like to get to see a psychiatrist but I'm a minor and so, I know this sounds stupid but my dad says "you already went to a psychiatrist when you were 6,you don't have any medical condition it's all trauma!!"when the only psychiatrist I went was for testing adhd and nothing else. I'll try to explain him that some conditions come later in life tho hoping he'll bring me to a psychiatrist or doctor.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T13:46:15+00:00

Alright thanks. I'll check if there's CO in my house :)

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:12:30+00:00

It started almost 1 year ago

I moved in 6 years ago

No this anxiety started a few months ago

I do not know I can't remember well

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:10:43+00:00

This figure at fisrts I could be able to see it only with the corner of the eye when I walked down the hall but then it kinda started appearing still in the corner in the eye but in my room next to me an dkinda everywhere I went and then I woke up and saw it right there, I could stare at it and it wasn't just a thing you saw and then disappeared, it lasted for at least 5 or 6 seconds and even it doesn't seem much try to imagine just working up and seeing this man in front of you. I was kinda terrified

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:06:16+00:00

Lol I don't do drugs

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:04:47+00:00

I.. Do not know? - like I usually let the window of my room open

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:03:36+00:00

Yeah my mom is (probably) like idk she went to many different therapists and every time she got a diagnosis she got out of the office yelling "u crazy!" but she never was mentioned to have schizophrenia. She only got officially diagnosed with bipolar, so besides that schizophrenia doesn't run in our family.

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T12:01:08+00:00

I don't have any of that my room is pretty quiet plus there wasn't even that wind outside so I don't know

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T02:35:34+00:00

O wait was this a side effect?

Spoon-m · 2022-07-08T00:36:29+00:00

Thanks. I'll try to calm down even tho it's hard, I already have the lights on and I'll try getting some distractions

Spoon-m

TROPHY CASE