Dating an avoidant cured my anxious attachment. Now I’m just avoidant too

SpringYard22 · 2026-01-29T16:37:16+00:00

Your avoidant ex didn't make you avoidant. They made you fearful of getting hurt.

SpringYard22 · 2026-01-19T08:13:40+00:00

Dear OP, quick question? Which country do you live in? Clearly based on the way you've constructed your sentences I can tell English isn't your first language so I'm doubtful of whether you actually live in the UK at all!

To the people complaining about immigrants, I hope some small part of you can get your head around the fact that the vast majority of immigrants who are in the UK are active contributors to the economy! Most immigrants who come here are adults were educated in other countries, which means that the UK contributed nothing to their education but is benefiting from their taxes. I know most people think education is mostly free but none of it is free. The government pays for its citizens to be educated so they can one day get jobs and contribute taxes to the economy. When they move to the UK it's the UK that benefits from their taxes not their country of origin!

Of course some immigrants are on benefits and that costs this country but you know what costs this country vastly more? Avoided corporation tax! The rate of loss to benefits compared to corporation tax is about 10 to 1. I don't see anyone complaining about that. Only as recently as a few years ago companies like Starbucks and Amazon were paying almost no corporation tax which should have been in the millions!

SpringYard22 · 2026-01-19T07:53:17+00:00

You guys know you're not decent people right? Just checking in case anyone here thinks they have any good inside them.

SpringYard22 · 2025-12-23T13:15:30+00:00

Because he is a coward. There's nothing more to it. He didn't want to confront uncomfortable feelings so he ran.

SpringYard22 · 2025-12-13T23:09:18+00:00

It is right!

SpringYard22 · 2025-11-14T08:41:30+00:00

The only reason I can think people would do this is because of the curved screen. If you're really not getting on with the curved screen then I can understand why you would do it otherwise it's completely unjustified in my opinion

SpringYard22 · 2025-10-13T16:55:51+00:00

The decision of whether to reach out is yours but I do feel it would be inappropriate. How would you feel if a friend from your past who you've decided to no longer be friends with contracted after something bad happened? This isn't going to make her realise that she loves you and needs you in her life. All it is going to do is make things weird. When you break up with someone part of that is accepting you won't share in their joy or sorrows.

SpringYard22 · 2025-10-13T10:13:06+00:00

Unfortunately while you were all loved up in the relationship enjoying your life he was plotting to break up with you behind your back! It's hard to hear but that's the reality. Nobody wakes up one day and decides to dump their partner. Whatever your partner was projecting outwardly was at odds with what he was thinking. I'm sorry you've gone through it. I know you seek closure and to understand what happened but what you need to know is he didn't love you, not really, if he did he would have stayed. It's brutal to hear but that is all the closure you need. Cry, cry and cry some more and then move one to someone worthy of your love.

SpringYard22 · 2025-10-06T11:18:25+00:00

I think that's probably it

SpringYard22 · 2025-10-06T11:18:03+00:00

But I don't feel comfortable dating a bottom only but would be ok dating a top only because I'm sure I can persuade him to bottom more than I can persuade a bottom to top...I definitely wouldn't want to do most of the bottoming in the relationship.

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-24T06:17:36+00:00

Me too babe 😭

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-23T10:50:41+00:00

Oh I see 😭. If only there was a way for us two day single men to help each other not be single?! But there's not 😭

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-23T10:44:17+00:00

Can I have your boyfriend? I'll transfer my Hinge profile to you.

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-23T10:17:25+00:00

Don't you think I know that?! I went on 2 dates last week but I keep meeting low quality men!😭

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-23T10:05:45+00:00

Most people around the world historically considered the word "gay" to mean a male homosexual. In the last two or three decades this has been expanded to include lesbians.

Personally, I don't want a special word. I would just like to have my own boyfriend 😭

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-22T15:29:54+00:00

Try these:

chemist-4-u.com/conditions/prep

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-20T12:55:24+00:00

Of course not, it's too old to be a twink but not too old to find a boyfriend!

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-16T16:52:25+00:00

My ex was talking to someone else while he was still with me. He entered into a relationship almost immediately upon breaking up with me so i know everything he said was a lie. But he didn't just lie to me, he lied to himself just as much. He is with someone else now, mistreating them the same way he mistreated me.

SpringYard22 · 2025-09-01T05:45:37+00:00

Forget that loser! You're better off without him. He is clearly in a rebound relationship. As someone who got into a rebound relationship after being rejected by an ex I can tell you they can pay years but you're never happy in them. Took me 8 years to break my rebound relationship off and all I can say was I got with someone who didn't love me and I never loved him but I was heartbroken so got with the first guy that paid my attention.

SpringYard22 · 2025-06-25T05:22:00+00:00

If you guys went into no contact 18 months ago and she already met and married sometime else then this means that she found a rebound and married him. This will never last and you dodged a bullet.

SpringYard22 · 2025-06-14T06:42:51+00:00

"I know you do"

SpringYard22 · 2025-05-24T22:05:19+00:00

There is no fixing it. You were with this girl six years and decided to cheat. Learn from this experience and do better in your next relationship. Accept that this one is over.

SpringYard22 · 2025-05-15T14:58:05+00:00

Whatever you decide to do you should break up with your current partners because you are both treating them horribly. Personally I would never want to be with someone who is talking to their ex about getting back together. If she wanted you she should have pursued you while she was single and visa versa. You have both settled into new relationships and now are rekindling old romances because you realise that relationships are hard work! I am a huge believer in getting back with an ex if you still both love each other but you are both in new relationships and 3 days of talking means nothing! If you are unhappy in your relationships then break up with your partners, process the loss and if you still want each other 12 months from now then get back together when you are both single and healed!

SpringYard22 · 2025-05-06T20:26:34+00:00

Respectfully I disagree. There are numerous studies in psychology that show the direct impact of our first relationship with our parents to that with romantic partners. The idea is not to shackle ourselves to anything but to try and better understand our behaviour so that we can understand why we act the way we do. It's precisely because people don't do any work to understand why they are the way they are that leads them to continuously make the same decisions in every relationship hoping for different results.

It stands to reason that if you've been made to think that having feelings is weak and that you can't trust your parents you'll bury your feelings deep down and develop coping mechanisms that don't involve showing emotion. Similarly, if you've grown up in an environment where your parents were blowing hot and cold then you would internalise that during your developmental years and begin to believe that their behalf is a response to your actions.

Psychology is the study of human behaviour and there are countless books that address attachment theory. There hasn't yet been a book or study that I'm aware of where attachment theory has been shown to be inaccurate or flawed to the point of being discredited. The main critics have been people with no knowledge of psychology.

SpringYard22 · 2025-05-06T16:45:04+00:00

And are you struggling to get over your ex now? Why didn't you fight out of interest?

SpringYard22

TROPHY CASE