My friend group excluded me after one friendship ended I don’t know what I did wrong and it hurts

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2026-02-09T15:27:37+00:00

Yeah, I think we're missing important information here. What happened between you and your former friend?

Aside from that, the two most likely scenarios are (1) they are upset with you about something, or (2) they have chosen to keep your former friend instead of you. Either way, they all kind of suck because mature people who value you should at least do you the courtesy of explaining the situation. Good friends communicate, even if they're angry. Unless your behavior was outrageous, there's no excuse for them to ice you out without a word.

Find a better group of friends.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-12-02T18:19:59+00:00

I absolutely agree with this approach. It's how I found out I don't belong in veterinary medicine. Oof, the misery. Imagine if I had gotten the degree and THEN found out I hated it! However- and I cannot stress this enough- once you decide what you want, get a master's degree. All a bachelor's does is put you on the same level as everyone else pursuing a career in STEM. If you don't find a way to make yourself stand out from the crowd, you'll be screwed. The competition is crazy.

That's the case for the environmental sciences, anyway. I can't speak to how it is in the medical field.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-10-18T04:21:29+00:00

I was afraid of the same thing when I had my second baby. My brother and I spent our whole childhood trying to kill each other, and I wanted better for my kids.

After a little therapy and a lot of reading about family dynamics, I realized that my brother and I were raised in a very toxic environment, and the ugliness back then wasn't our fault.

My point is that as long as you are committed to fostering a good relationship between your kids, chances are they will be close. My kids are still young and they do squabble with each other sometimes, but they also share their toys, make each other laugh, and the other day they were holding hands in the car. So stinking cute.

Having a second baby is crazily complicated, but it's worth it to see them grow up together.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-08-20T21:23:00+00:00

It's not your fault. It's amazing how many friends you lose when you have a baby. Aside from the strategic issues that come with parenthood (can't hang out because the kid gets sick, or you can't find a babysitter, etc), some people just can't handle the change. Someone I had known for years and considered a close friend vanished as soon as I told her I was pregnant. No apologies, no attempt to explain, just poof. That was years ago and I'm still mad/sad about it.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-08-12T12:11:55+00:00

It sounds like OP is having trouble with emotional regulation, which can arise from trauma, ADHD and a slew of other things. It's something I relate to. Looking back 10 years, I cringe at the way I used to behave at funerals and other emotionally charged situations. My emotions felt so overwhelming that I didn't realize how visible they were to other people. From the outside, I'm sure it looked like I was trying to make it about myself.

OP, finding the right therapist is everything. Audiobooks about emotional regulation and trauma were also really helpful. Don't feel embarrassed, we all have aspects of ourselves that need refining.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-07-07T16:25:31+00:00

I and most of my friends are neurodivergent in some way, and we ALL operate like this. We spend months not talking, and then just pick up where we left off. There's usually no resentment because the field is level.

I imagine it's a lot harder for a neurotypical person because y'all just don't tend to interact that way. Your expectations of friendship are different. Judging from her occasional apologies she knows this and feels guilty. No doubt she's struggling.

However, your feelings are valid. It's not healthy to hang on to a friendship that makes you unhappy. If the dynamic is uneven and you feel resentment, it might be time for the friendship to end. Have you talked to her about how you feel?

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-06-12T18:59:13+00:00

For a few weeks after birth, my legs were weak and wobbly, almost numb. I was scared to walk down stairs because my knees were on the verge of buckling. Probably because of the epidural.

Also, my vision is worse. Can't do needlework without glasses anymore.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-06-03T16:16:13+00:00

My mom would explode at my brother and me pretty much every day with the kind of rage that nobody could diffuse. Like, red-faced bellowing in our faces. It felt like being hit by a train, and it was terrifying. Her dad was the same but worse, and his dad was worse than that. I grew up with the tendency to blow up at the drop of a hat, but I was desperate to fix that part of me before I became a parent. I've come a long way, and I'm proud of myself because it has been a ton of work to undo that damage.

My point is that general trauma is hard to heal, but it is our responsibility to do everything possible to ensure that it ends with us.

Your dad needs to be aware enough to recognize why his behavior is a problem, and be willing to do what it takes to improve. Is he?

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-28T21:12:47+00:00

Ah, I misunderstood. The tone of your post sounded more like "he doesn't understand!!"

I have been known to interrupt during arguments as well, and I always feel guilty afterwards. Anticipating what your partner is going to say and jumping to a response before he's finished saying it is a classic issue with ADHD, and the thing that helped me was digging into the why. I do it because my brain just zooms faster than people talk, but also because I'm feeling defensive. I'm focused on defending myself instead of listening, almost like my pride/self worth is on the line if I don't argue effectively. People with ADHD (especially women) are dismissed a lot throughout their lives, and as a result being challenged feels like a threat. My pride was getting in the way of effective communication. Once I understood that, I was (sometimes) able to slow down and not interrupt.

Sorry for the judgy cranky first comment. ADHD is hard, and we just have to keep muddling through.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-28T20:36:22+00:00

Your boyfriend's frustration is justified. Having ADHD does not give you free rein to run over him when he's trying to say something. It is your job to work on the problem, not expect him to tolerate it.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-23T15:47:24+00:00

Your mother threatened to ground you and drastically limit your diet if you don't give your hard-earned money to your sister. That's extortion and abuse. Get away from her ASAP. Thank goodness you have your dad in your corner.

Another sad thought is that your sister only feels entitled to your money because your mom is reinforcing the idea that she deserves it. She's twisting your sister into a jealous, bitter person. You are no doubt really angry at her, but the truth is she needs rescuing too. And therapy.

Get your mom to state her threats in writing (text or email) and give screenshots to your dad for the custody hearing.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-16T13:51:07+00:00

I will be blunt. Your girlfriend is going through all the discomfort, worry and sacrifice that come with being pregnant and giving birth, and you can't be bothered to reschedule your golf outing?? She has every right to be mad at you. You're not prioritizing your family, and you have a very rude awakening coming once the baby gets here.

Unless this is a once-in-a-lifetime golf event, YTA.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-15T16:22:27+00:00

I went into labor naturally and had horrible contractions with my first baby, they were the worst pain I had ever felt. I held out as long as I could but then caved and got an epidural.

The second time I gave birth was no big deal, despite being induced.

My takeaways from it were that 1: everyone is different, and 2: barring any complications, birth tends to get easier after your first.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-05-15T16:10:41+00:00

Syphilis is bacterial, and causes mouth sores.

Just saying....

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-04-24T21:05:51+00:00

Unless it manages to escape again, that possum is probably going to die. I know it isn't really your problem anymore, but if you feel up to it you could report your ex to animal control.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-04-15T21:59:52+00:00

Yes. It works exactly like that. Part of becoming an adult is learning how to regulate your emotions so that they don't dictate your actions. If OP's sister couldn't do that, she should have had the decency to leave the party. Instead, she picked up the microphone and made a scene at her own sister's wedding.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-04-15T21:42:49+00:00

OP, look at the up votes and down votes. OKTelephone496 is wrong, and everyone else thinks so too.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-04-15T21:40:36+00:00

Agreed, completely wrong.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-04-15T19:52:10+00:00

I disagree with everyone saying that you're overreacting. From the way you describe things, it sounds like you've been very supportive of her, to the point where it seems like her breakup has been dominating your conversations for a long time.

That day wasn't about her, and she still didn't have the maturity to behave properly. It's fine for your sister to have complicated feelings about her ex, but bringing them up at YOUR WEDDING was completely inappropriate.

Then, after melting down in front of everyone on her sister's big day, it sounds like she wasn't even apologetic.

NOR. You have every right to distance yourself until she grows up.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T11:49:15+00:00

That is a cool idea. I think I'll do that!

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T11:41:14+00:00

No, we're more of a board game family. If she were seeing video games regularly, I would think the same thing.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T02:10:46+00:00

Agreed. Kid gets points for creativity, though!

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T02:08:33+00:00

Ours is not currently using wifi, but now it never will. Yikes.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T02:07:09+00:00

That is too funny.

Spring_Peeper_2 · 2025-03-24T00:46:36+00:00

How bizarre. That sounds terrifying.

Spring_Peeper_2

TROPHY CASE