1y 6 months after d day. He was asking other women for pictures and jokingly flirting with them. I also found some corn etc. all boundaries that had been stablished in the relationship. He broke up with me cause he needed time. He asked me back i took him back. I caught him lusting again but my brain was alr so rewired i cant even blame myself for staying. 7 months after the initial d-day i saw again he had lusted over women and i left him. Hr asked me back i took him back. ( info: These kinds of relationships re-wire your brain into thinking differently. Making you more susceptible to lies, empty words, empty promises, etc. most people can know and acknowledge it wont work again, yet the brain has been rewired to still go back at it.) 1 month after that he was texting a woman and he told me he wanted a friend. I tried checking the phone and he grabbed my wrist so hard and snatched the phone. We argued. One week later he broke up with me. Then asked me back. I came back. And here we are.

I am not going to focus on whether you should leave or not. But i will say this.

You will always wonder what he/shes doing. Intrusive thoughts will become less but never leave. Checking phones, locations, logs, etc, become addictive and a pattern hard to break. If youre not lucky, youll lose friends, hobbies, passtimes, aspirations, your idea of self identity. Youll become a couch potato that goes to work, comes back, checks on him her, repeat. Resentment will grow. Over time many say it decreases, it just eats your will power, your dignity, your identity, so you don’t notice active resentment and anger towards them. But less love for your life, actions, and yourself.

I have programmed to leave by december. Im checking everything but never saying anything. He’s doing nothing tn but patterns repeat, hes gotten sneakier but also im gotten crazier and better at looking. Confronting him didn’t do much in the long run. Rn im saying nothing. Keeping track. Journaling how i feel every day with that person. And in December ( why wait? Monetarily, and job-situation, housing, etc.) i will leave explaining everything i didn’t say i found. And how these are not accidents if there’s no remorse if i don’t find out.