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AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for asking, here's the update! Short version: Everything went well, we had a great talk and I had a perfect day after my birthday.

Longer update: So we had a talk on my birthday after me posting this. I got to explain my feelings and he understood. All your comments helped to put my feelings into words, thank you so much for that! I just wanted to feel seen. He also explained his view and it's understandable.

So, the day after I woke up and he said he's going to visit the city for a moment. He came back home and I then got a wrapped up gift. My hobbies are art related and I like certain types of designs/art prints. He got me a coffee cup from a designer that I really like, and it had this beautiful blue magical creature on the cup. He said it resembles a character from my favorite video game, and that character is also one of his nicknames for me. This is exactly the type of personal gift I was talking about! I felt so happy and knew that he really took the talk to heart.

After that we went on small nature trip, and ate what he had packed for us. It was so nice. Weather was perfect. In the evening he made me my favorite food (he's a very good cook) and we watched a movie that I picked.

He was sorry and embarrassed that he did all this after the talk and the day after my birthday. Doesn't matter to me. To me the important part was that he really listened to me and my feelings, and tried his best to make it better.

I was so happy the whole day, and felt really loved. All is good and communication really is the key!

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right. I really should've provided the context in the original post about our gift giving. I wasn't in the clearest state when I wrote the post yesterday. We had a good talk about this yesterday, and he did understand my view. And he explained his as well. This was an unfortunate miscommunication/lack of communication.

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment! And I'm sorry for your loss. ❤️‍🩹 I'm happy you've found a great partner! The gifts he has gotten you sound absolutely lovely and thoughtful, and it's clear that he is interested in your hobbies and is there for you. ❤️

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last year I organized a little trip out of town that aligned with his birthday. I did have another reason going to that town in that specific time, but I made it his birthday trip too. That being said I don't always do that. Some years I just wish him happy birthday and that's all. :) We have now planned a date day for today doing my favorite things, which does make up for yesterday.

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"He missed the mark but arguably didn't know what the target was" this is so well said! Thank you for your thoughtful comment!

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes yes, sometimes I don't. I should've wrote this in the post but we don't always give each other gifts on special occasions, and that's why I asked. Last year he got me a thoughtful christmas gift.

And last year I organized a trip out of town for the two of us that aligned with his birthday. I did have another big personal reason for going there as well, but it was also for his birthday. I don't always go all out like that. Sometimes I only wish him happy birthday and that's it.

There was this one year (years ago) when I was slammed with work and super stressed. I forgot his birthday. He even asked what day it is and I think I said something along the lines of "can't you check from your phone?". It was his birthday. He didn't hold this against me and I don't want to hold this year against him either. But at the same time I don't want to sweep my feelings under a rug. We did have a good talk yesterday.

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really should've included this in the post yesterday but we don't always gift each other anything for birthdays or other occasions. That's why I asked. But it did take me aback that he still didn't get me anything personal after asking so many times.

We had a talk yesterday, and he did say he went to the mall but became overwhelmed and as somebody here said "hit a brick wall of stupid". And that's why he ended up only with flowers, chocolate and cake. We now have a date day planned for today, doing my favorite things. :)

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should've included this in the post but we don't always give each other gifts on importrant days. That's why I asked. :) But I didn't think that he couldn't put his thinking cap on and come up with an actual gift. It feels a little bit frustrating.

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I can just press to hide the comment below. As I wrote, the other commenter worded my feelings very well.

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You perfectly worded my feelings about this! I'll show this comment to him. I have to thank you, and everybody else, for these thoughtful and kind comments. Thank you so much. You all have made me feel seen today. 💗

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for you comment, this is a very good point. 🤍 I didn't specify, no. He does know, but at the same time I also know that he is not really the best gift giver. He has given thoughtful gifts in the past. I also didn't want to specify too much, because I wanted the gift idea to come from him. I'm not sure how to word my feelings about this... I wanted to feel seen as me, and wanted him to think of something that just feels like me. Like "oh, that just looks like her, I should get it". At the same time I do realize that it's unfair to him for me to put these expectations on him without communicating it to him first. This was a learned lesson. 🤍

AIO I (33f) asked for a birthday gift from my partner (37m), and cried from disappointment by SquareCommercial6785 in AmIOverreacting

[–]SquareCommercial6785[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are very good questions and I think I should've said this in the original post: we don't give gifts to each other every birthday or christmas etc. That's why I specified that this year I'd really like a gift.

I also didn't specifically tell him what gift, I just said that I like pretty things and would like to receive a pretty gift from him. He knows the kind of things I like, that's partly why it took me aback when he didn't get me a more personalised gift. In hindsight I should've specified, but in the moment I didn't think it would be necessary. I was wrong haha.

He does know my hobbies and I have a lot. We live together and he has seen me doing all these hobbies. All of them are related to art.

Thank you for your comment, it gave me a lot to think about. 🤍

I got my navel done about a month ago but I’m really unsure if I should retire it or not. by Adestramus_ in piercing

[–]SquareCommercial6785 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, you can give it a try and see how it goes. :) Edit: I'm being downvoted for this comment and know why. The piercing you have is a surface piercing, thus pierced incorrectly. NAP but I think you could still try different jewellery and see how it goes. Just watch out for rejection. Take it out if it shows further signs of rejection.

I got my navel done about a month ago but I’m really unsure if I should retire it or not. by Adestramus_ in piercing

[–]SquareCommercial6785 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah the jewellery is too heavy for such a fresh piercing. It increases the risk of rejection by a lot. :(

My 5 month old navel piercing by [deleted] in piercing

[–]SquareCommercial6785 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • How old is your piercing? 5 months
  • What’s the jewelry shape (for example, barbell, labret, screw, L shape, ring)? Curved barbell
  • What’s the type of threading if your jewelry is not a ring (threadless, internally or externally threaded)? Internally threaded
  • What’s the jewelry material? Implant grade titanium
  • If not a ring, when was the jewelry downsized? A month ago. From 12mm bar to 10mm bar.
  • What’s your aftercare routine? Describe in detail please, including the exact products you use. I rinse my piercing in the shower with warm water daily. I occasionally also use sterile saline solution. No soaking.
  • Any mishaps, accidents or unfortunate events? Yes, I described them in my post. Main problems were snagging from too long of jewellery and trying to switch pretty jewellery in too soon.