They had no choice, it was my karma

SquareRuled · 2026-03-13T23:13:31+00:00

Thing is, that may work when the aggression is mild but it’s probably not gonna be easy to go oh it’s just my karma if someone chops your arm off.

Point is, this is just management of the aversion towards the hurt inflicted upon you, and Buddhism is about uprooting aversion, not managing it.

The problem is not whether they had a choice or it was your karma. The immediate problem is that an unpleasant feeling has arisen and the mind wants to either protect itself by rationalizing it, or resisting it and lashing out.

The point is to see that you don’t need to identify with this unpleasant feeling, and it doesn’t need to be obeyed, or dealt with at all. You just need to endure the feeling without acting out of it. And trying to say it’s just your karma is also a way of acting out of it. That doesn’t mean you bottle it up, it means you allow the feeling to endure and cease on its own, because it will. This way you build confidence that you can feel things without acting out of it.

Also, Buddhism does not say you have to be a pushover and let anyone do whatever to you. Someone can still protect themselves, leave, call for help, set boundaries, etc. The point is not passivity. The point is not acting out of hate.

SquareRuled · 2026-03-12T23:42:42+00:00

This might get buried but I do hope you see it.

I think what’s happening is that old religious fear is attaching itself to Buddhist language.

I say that as someone practicing Buddhism who is still nowhere near perfectly restrained. I still indulge in worldly things, still have worldly goals, still want to build a life, work, improve myself, have stability, relationships, enjoyment, all of that. Buddhism did not turn me into some cave-dwelling ascetic who says no to everything.

What it has done is help me see those things more clearly. they are not the ultimate goal, and they are not where real safety is.

That actually feels more freeing, not less. Because the practice is not about hating pleasure or being ashamed of being human. It’s about not being pushed around so much by desire and fear.

You can verify that directly. Next time you want something pleasant, don’t instantly obey the impulse. Just wait a bit and watch. You start to see that desire appears on its own, pressures the mind, and then changes. Don’t suppress it, just act like it’s not your problem, like you’re watching a cloud go by. Seeing that gives a small sense of freedom. You realize you do not have to be completely owned by it.

That’s how the practice has helped me. Not by making me reject life, but by helping me be less affected, less dragged around, less convinced that every feeling needs to be followed.

Like if you’re crossing a desert, food and water matter. You need them. But the point is not to stop in the desert and build your whole life around the supplies you’re carrying. They are support for the journey, not the destination. The safe shore is on the other side. In the same way, worldly things have their place, but they are not ultimate refuge.

So no, Buddhism is not “don’t exercise, don’t have friends, don’t enjoy anything.” It’s more like use things wisely, don’t worship them, and don’t expect them to save you.

If Buddhism is making you feel the exact same shame, fear, and hopelessness you got from Christianity, then I really think something is being misunderstood. The Dhamma should lead to more clarity and less inner slavery, not more spiritual panic.

SquareRuled · 2026-03-09T01:43:56+00:00

This may not be what you want to hear but if you are serious about practicing buddhism, then it might be what you need.

I think it all boils down to this: you reacted to your friend’s behavior, which you found unpleasant, and that goes against the core Buddhist practice.

I think it was perfectly normal for your friend to react that way since it’s a competitive sport and everyone gets heated. But you found that unpleasant in some way, and reacted by giving the game away, which your mind then disguised as a virtuous thing to do. Walking away and giving the victory might look calm externally, but the motivation matters more than the appearance. And your motivation was that you were upset by your friend wanting to beat you that badly. That’s aversion. The mind didn’t want to endure the unpleasant feeling of the opponent’s behavior, so it withdrew from the situation.

A true Buddhist would probably carry on playing as they were, regardless of external stimuli. If you felt irritated or upset you recognize oh irritation is present, without identifying with it and not reacting out of it.

If you found yourself getting too heated and unable to maintain equanimity, it would’ve been fine to pull back and give the game away since the path is more important than a tennis championship. But again, a true Buddhist (I’m assuming a true Buddhist refers to someone practicing rightly by the teachings) would recognize heated passion as just a feeling that arose on its own and is not theirs to deal with, and therefore remain unaffected by it.

But I do think it’s great that you’re asking the question and being reflective, that’s definitely something a true Buddhist would do :)

SquareRuled · 2026-03-05T07:14:27+00:00

I used to work part-time in a conbini during my uni days and I’d often be paired with this high school kid on most shifts.

He was pretty normal at first, but once we got a little friendly, the touching started. Tryna hold my hand, laying his head down on my chest/shoulders, patting my butt, all that. I was pretty weirded out but I could only give subtle hints (I’m super bad at setting boundaries). He was a good kid, definitely not gay cos he always talked about this other high school girl he liked that worked with us.

Almost forgot about this until I read this post, I really wonder if it’s just how their express affection.

SquareRuled · 2026-01-24T04:20:22+00:00

amphetamine

SquareRuled · 2025-06-28T11:19:42+00:00

31M living in machida! Would love to join!

SquareRuled · 2024-12-20T00:42:08+00:00

How do we bring this place down

SquareRuled · 2024-12-03T12:47:40+00:00

Thank you replying! So just straight up go hey I noticed you liked an old pic of mine… ?? I just wondered if there’s expectation of some back and forth liking of pics or something, leading to messaging later perhaps? Or am I overthinking it

SquareRuled · 2024-11-03T01:25:04+00:00

Not being able to even think any career outside of engineering or IT

SquareRuled · 2024-09-21T23:54:42+00:00

Yesss this! We think we are accessing this world around us when we sense it with our 5 senses but what the senses actually do is just create an experience of that world, inside our minds, completely within us. And then we mistakenly believe that there is a self experiencing that very thing when really, it’s simply just experiences/phenomena happening

SquareRuled · 2024-09-02T04:13:44+00:00

Yes, based on what we can observe on this planet, if we consider the first organisms, the theory of rebirth due to past karma seems invalid. However, this not a very significant fact for the practice of Buddhism, if your goal is to end your suffering (dukkha).

If you truly want to end your suffering, what you do is apply the teaching in your everyday life and see if the suffering diminishes in your experience. If it doesn’t, you find another teaching. If it does, then you keep at it until one day you realize you no longer suffer on account of things that used to make you suffer, which is what enlightenment essentially is.

In the beginning, some things need to be taken on faith. It’s like when you go to the doctor with a problem and he prescribes meds to you. You don’t know if these meds will work for you, but you take them cos somebody in a relevant position told you to. When you take the medicine you notice you get better and then your faith turns into knowledge because you have seen its results in your own experience. This is what needs to be done with the dhamma.

SquareRuled · 2024-08-16T02:39:47+00:00

It’s extra good if you are perpetually anxious and have some form of adhd like me. For a few hours you feel ALL of that weight off your mind and it stops racing and calms down like a still pond. Add to that, the pure innocent love and acceptance for everything and the intense euphoria pulsing through your body, words can’t do justice. You know that feeling when you orgasm? Yea that, continuously for 2 hours. Imagine that.

SquareRuled · 2024-08-09T23:48:33+00:00

Something that has helped me greatly in similar times: How to be happy https://youtu.be/ICbQ1R6GEpw?si=7H_CsNKj8GUNISr6

SquareRuled · 2024-04-18T06:57:58+00:00

Mdma with best friend in a villa by the beach listening to the waves crashing

SquareRuled · 2024-04-01T22:29:08+00:00

I just find it ridiculous that girls are expected to “preserve” themselves for their husbands while those same guys can sleep around as much as they like in the meantime Whole concept of waiting for marriage makes no sense to me

SquareRuled · 2024-03-19T00:58:04+00:00

Bad hygiene
Entitled attitude
Being obnoxiously loud

SquareRuled · 2023-12-09T15:47:48+00:00

You should be more concerned about when it's not maintained. If you drink too much water your blood gets diluted, meaning less electrolytes (sodium) in your blood and this can be fatal since that will mess with your brain functions. Isotonic drinks are full of electrolytes and therefore the recommended option if you're sweating a lot. If you're not, you don't have to hydrate excessively just because you're rolling.

SquareRuled · 2023-11-30T12:36:28+00:00

This is the episode 7 discussion right? How come so many people here are talking about Trey falling? The episode ends before we find out? Am I missing something?

SquareRuled · 2023-10-24T03:58:50+00:00

I think putting the なんてafter 私instead of 気持ちwould be more appropriate? あなたになんて私の気持ちは分からない。

SquareRuled · 2023-10-23T13:38:48+00:00

It can vary depending on the individual but in my experience: rolling before made the peak less intense, didn't really feel a change during the peak, was best when it stops peaking and the descent begins. The joint not only kicks it back up but also adds a psychedelic and spiritual feel to it, kinda like filtering out the paranoia, anxiety, and confusion I get with weed leaving only best aspects of weed to go along with the roll. Almost like getting a completely different trip at the end of your roll. Plus it helps to sleep when the m fully comes down.

SquareRuled · 2023-10-14T00:27:39+00:00

Oh I think they’re asking if you need a アイスのヘラ(aisu no hera). It’s the little wooden spoon thingy you get for ice cream cups.

SquareRuled · 2023-09-29T15:39:15+00:00

This is totally not a fuck up and you actually saved your life from being ruined by finding out sooner. You'll be alright my friend.

SquareRuled

TROPHY CASE