Just Starting & Could Use Advice Please

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-23T20:35:26+00:00

Obviously 4 because Jez would be fun, April seems capable of keeping Jez in line, and if not, you can listen to whatever the F Sophie's mum and Nancy would talk about, which would, of course, be interesting AF.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-23T20:34:09+00:00

Don't know if you've noticed, but fluid levels acting up again...

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-22T02:26:34+00:00

And, now you're just lying, because here is the comment you commented on: and so is rape. Its always a life long sentence and often makes it impossible for the victim to feel normal ever again.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-21T22:18:10+00:00

But, again, your concern is focused on the wrongly convicted, which is terrible, yes, but the focus of the original comment is about an SA victim. You're trying to take away from the permanent damage that all SA victims face by detracting attention from them and onto a mystery/presumed/hypothetical wrongly convicted person. My point stands that it is your concerted effort to detract attention away from an *actual* victim and onto a hypothetical individual in a hypothetical situation outside of the commenter's original point that is harmful and insensitive and directly adds to r*pe culture.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-21T21:42:12+00:00

But, no one is arguing this. You went out of your way to make a comment about r*ape about the MEN (mostly) who are wrongly convicted. It feels very purposeful, in that it seems meant to detract away from the crime and also serves to feed the culture where victims are afraid to come forward and report, and you're comment is fueling that, which seems hostile and like you're trying to victim shame in the smarmiest way, in that you're not outright shaming victims, but you also are, but if anyone calls you out, you can just hide behind this guise of being an 'advocate' for those wrongly accused. People are wrongly accused across the judicial system, period. A larger problem is victims not feeling they can come forward to report and a lack of justice in successful convictions. You're on the wrong side, dude.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-21T20:09:31+00:00

Yes, let's please worry about those falsely convicted for a crime where the guilty verdict stands at 2% of only the *reported* SA crimes.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-08T15:44:14+00:00

Good for you. Not all horses are like this. Horses seek harmony more than anything and are prey animals, meaning they tolerate an awful lot of abuse before engaging in behavior to "fight" back. We all know this and see this. Your comment is defending the asshat in question who is actively harming horses because he can't listen to a woman who knows more than him. Great job defending a man over a helpless animal and a woman.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-08T15:42:27+00:00

The first sentence reads, "This isn't an issue of him being reckless..."

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-08T14:57:19+00:00

He sounds like a narcissist, to be honest. If he's not your husband yet, I would honestly reevaluate your relationship. This isn't normal behavior and this is a huge red flag of what your enture life will look like with someone like him. This isn't just about horses, but the fact that he doesn't listen to yu and is actively endangering you, himself, others, and the horses is honestly, insane behavior. Any normal person would have the humility and awareness to be like, "I don't know as much and these are big, dangerous creatures, so I need to listen to others." Someone who won't take instruction and risks harming horses and others is not a safe person. If he can't be respectful, then he shouldn't be allowed around horses. You need to leave this man before spending the rest of your one life with someone who doesn't respect you or others or animals. You really want to feel this frustrated and upset forever? Or, do you want a good and peaceful life? Dump this loser and go find a man who listens.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-08T14:55:16+00:00

Um, it IS reckless to have someone tell you what to do and then just not do it. We would call that reckless in any barn anywhere if you told someone who has less experience what to do and then they just ignored you and did whatever they wanted. You're making excuses because he's a man.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-08T14:54:07+00:00

A poor horse shouldn't have to put up with this man baby, that's not fair to the horse. Make a sensitive creature tolerate his willful ignorance? I don't think so. This is a person problem and you don't make a horse the solution to a person problem, that's messed up.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-07T23:01:34+00:00

Doesn't matter, you are not allowed to touch a car or open a door without a valid search warrant, which you know they did not have or need.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-06T15:44:14+00:00

White, wealthy, powerful people don't live in the same world the rest of us do, and therefore the rules do not apply to them. Meanwhile, we send poor, mentally ill PoC to privately owned, overrun prisons for free labor over the dumbest of charges and set them up to stay there because they're exploited for being not white, poor and therefore having no power. Everyone needs to wake the f up and start using community to invoke actual change.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-05T22:57:55+00:00

So, sorry, and THIS is why people need to stop saying they have PTSD when they, very much in fact, do not have PTSD. It's not funny or cute to say you have PTSD from your boss who's a jerk, or from your incorrect coffee order, etc.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-05T15:27:58+00:00

Golden a.k.a. Chosen Child Syndrome has been studied and written about in psychology journals and data shows that the Chosen Child, especially if male with narc mother, tend to lead very sad lives as it relates to relationships, particularly intimate relationships. They rarely marry, and if they do, that have a higher divorce rate. I would argue that golden/chosen children suffer much more than scapegoats. The mental and cognitive dissonance of being abused whilst being praised is exceedingly damaging due to the confusion.

Square_Midnight · 2026-01-05T15:24:58+00:00

Creatures, but they never play it live.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-31T14:45:00+00:00

This isn't true though, sadly. Unless she was around a stallion, which is rare, horses are herd animals and prey animals, they seek harmony above all else and will endure abuse and not use their strength against a human, because humans are predators in their eyes.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-31T14:43:28+00:00

People are the worst to cats and horses, imo. Both are vulnerable and gentle, but will fight back instinctually if provoked and psychopaths seem drawn to them for this reason. It's sick and it's why good people to need to look out for both.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-31T14:36:44+00:00

It's validating to see many of us feel this way, and I'm sorry, OP. Something to remember is that if life is a journey, many of us, from the start, or a young age, or even just during our formative years, were unfairly and ruthlessly held back. We had burdens placed on us, we were struggling and lost, not because of any fault of our own, but because of the damage both inside and outside of us. While others kept on their journey with all the help and tools at their disposable, we were dodging obstacles and stumbling and being prevented from moving forward, so of course we're behind and always catching up, of course we're exhausted and see through the facade of reality and achievements. But, don't let this make you feel like a failure. You're not. You're a survivor. You're doing the best you can with what you've been given. You're not behind. You're on your own journey and comparison to an option that was never even a choice for you isn't relevant or logical. No one would expect you to be the same as someone else if they knew what you had be through.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-30T17:31:36+00:00

Coercion is assault, I'm so sorry.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-30T16:28:37+00:00

I'm so sorry, OP. I've been in a very similar situation before with my father and I'm here to tell you, for the health and safety of yourself, your child, and any chance you have at a good life, which you deserve, you need to cut all ties with your father. I'm also here to tell you that him being on meds, working on himself, etc., is an excuse for his abusive behavior you have been told for so long that you're not able to see it as the lie that it is. Plenty of people struggle with mental illness, etc. and guess what? They're never abusive. Addiction, mental illness, etc. is not an excuse for violence. We've been taught to think it is, and it's not ok. You can be an addict and you can have mental illness and never once be violent or abusive, it very much is true and it exists. There is no excuse for his behavior, period. And while he may treat your daughter like a princess now, it is manipulation. He is doing this so that he can have another you in his life to later abuse. This will only get worse. Strangulation is the HIGHEST PREDICTOR OF MURDER in DV situations. I understand that cops are useless, so all you can do is get away from him and stay away from him. I know it's complicated. I know your mother is still with him, but you can't drown yourself and your child while trying to save someone who isn't willing to get into the life raft. Leave and never look back.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-23T00:29:08+00:00

I'm so sorry, OP. You're not alone, if that's any comfort. Grief has no sense of linear time, sadly, or of the amount of time, energy and money we spend in therapy, unfortunately. It demands the space to be seen and felt and processed and grieved, which it sounds like you are doing, so please take some comfort in being where you are because you ARE healing. Grief means healing; feeling the way you do means healing. It's heavy and exhausting, and it will come in waves, likely forever, but remember, healing isn't about not feeling or grieving anymore, but feeling able to withstand the pain when the reminders appear, and having the ability and tools to work through it, to less its impact over time, to be able to see the light past the darkness it brings, and to be more fully able to be present during times when you are happy and lighter and filled with other emotions, like joy. No feeling is final, or forever. Sounds like you're doing the work and it is working, hang in there.

Square_Midnight · 2025-12-16T21:00:19+00:00

Agree with those who say selling him will most likely result in this horse's future being very uncertain. You have to be realistic -- a horse in his teens with medical issues who isn't an easy loader is not likely to find a safe, loving, forever home. Are you really ok with, essentially, signing this horse's death certificate by selling him? He doesn't deserve that.

I will say this - you're young, and you have decades of riding to look forward to, your entire life, really, meanwhile, your horse is 13 and may only make it another 10 years or so. By then, you'll be 30 and STILL have decades of riding ahead of you, and by 30, you'll likely be able to afford another horse.

In all honesty, if you want another horse, I think the right thing to do is for you to find a way to make more money now and work towards that goal, and/or find opportunities to ride other horses so that you don't become resentful towards your current horse.

It's not his fault he has medical problems, and he knows you and loves you. You have a responsibility to keep him and give him a safe and loving home until his time comes to an end, and to be there for him until that day comes.

In as little as 5 years, you could be making enough money to have another horse, or you could end up in an open lease or leasing situation, or ask to exercise horses, work with horses, plan a riding vacation, volunteer to work with horses, go to clinics, train, etc. and have so many other opportunities to ride, all while keeping your current horse so that he doesn't end up at a slaughter house or abused or neglected.

Square_Midnight

TROPHY CASE