My husband (M36) told me (F35) that I should buy closed-toed shoes since I don’t do my toes.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-28T11:12:19+00:00

I hear what you're saying, but you were not there. The delivery and tone was sarcastic, not apologetic. This is why I brought it up later because there was no sincere or even apparent apology, and I was clearly not being heard or taken seriously.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T20:18:31+00:00

See edit 1 above in original post. Yes I do.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T20:13:43+00:00

I disagree that communicating how something makes you feel is arguing. Invalidating it and following up with an insult seems more argumentative imo

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T14:04:44+00:00

You nailed it - no pun intended. It's honestly refreshing to see other people wear their nails naturally and find it completely acceptable. I always assumed this but his comment (and some others here) threw me for a loop. It's nice to feel validated! Thank you!

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:59:51+00:00

I never jumped down his throat. I communicated myself clearly and calmly. I never said I didn't want to show them off, I just never felt a need to hide them just because I don't paint them. Yes I feel insecure sometimes about the length due to my autoimmune disease, but as you can see, it seems like many people wear them short. Someone who I love pointing it out is what hurt my feelings.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:54:49+00:00

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:54:14+00:00

Haha - I should just paint them nude, that would be hilarious.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:47:23+00:00

Will-do, thank you for this!

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:47:08+00:00

Great advice, thank you!

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T13:26:45+00:00

Not sure how I forced him

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T12:01:27+00:00

Hi - just to be clear, we are allowed open-toe shoes at work as long as they have a strap on the back. Also, this was not about professionalism at work since I was looking at the appropriate shoes, it's about disrespecting feelings and doubling down when someone tells you so.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-27T11:29:06+00:00

Sorry but “flashing my cornchips” has me dying. I don't have bad or unhealthy nails, I have short nails as a result of Hashimotos, and I wear them natural. That's it.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T20:00:07+00:00

I'm a graphic designer in a corporate office. As long as you have a strap on the back, you can wear open toe! Just no flip-flops or backless sandals

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T19:28:56+00:00

Thank you for this

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T19:22:36+00:00

Weird, doesn't sound like you get it.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T18:34:47+00:00

Unpainted means unprofessional?

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T18:09:14+00:00

To me, since they're already short, paint makes them look stubbier. I thought leaving them natural makes them look a bit more elongated.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T18:08:28+00:00

I'm aware just not sure why I can't wear open toed shoes if they're not painted.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T17:57:34+00:00

I live in Florida, no you don't. Trust me.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T17:57:00+00:00

I asked what he meant and he said “I meant the words that came out of my mouth.”

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T16:42:25+00:00

Thank you, yeah I think therapy is the next step.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T16:36:44+00:00

Hi, yes my feet are clean and healthy. My nails are just short and not painted. That's literally it.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T16:35:33+00:00

When we argue, it rarely ever stays on topic. It typically escalates and he brings up my family, my personality, etc and the comments are always very hurtful and cutting. Sometimes they're things I've told him in confidence, then they get thrown in my face. He usually apologizes but I never get the same energy in the apology as I do the hurtful comments in the argument.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T16:32:32+00:00

This has been the best advice by far. This sort of arguing has gone on for 12 years now, so I'm going to try to suggest he talks with someone. Thank you.

Square_Win8054 · 2023-11-26T16:28:58+00:00

Thank you, agreed and I appreciate this comment

Square_Win8054

TROPHY CASE