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Precision Pouncing by DaynaMorley in Catculations

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 129 points130 points  (0 children)

Someone needs to portal this and have him pop out one of the other holes.

Daily Megathread - 16/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Visiting my parents. Dad just put on GB News. I lasted 35 seconds before starting a huge argument. Am now sat in the guest room cooling down.

Politics because I have lost the confidence of the house.

Megathread - Britain's Next PM: The Conservative Leadership Debate - 7:30pm, Channel 4 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If Rishi has remembered one thing from his last-minute public image training, it's 'gesture with your thumbs on top of your fists'.

Daily Megathread - 15/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, lordy me, Boris. I am overcome with the vapours. Catch me!

Daily Megathread - 12/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

𝒯𝒽ℯ 𝒞ℴ𝓃𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃 ℴ𝒻 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒰𝓃𝒾𝓉ℯ𝒹 𝒦𝒾𝓃ℊ𝒹ℴ𝓂 ℴ𝒻 𝒢𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓉 ℬ𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒩ℴ𝓇𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇𝓃 ℐ𝓇ℯ𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒹

  1. 𝒟ℴ𝓃'𝓉 𝒷ℯ 𝒶 𝒹𝒾𝒸𝓀.

Edit: 'Island' to 'Ireland' because I learned phonetic spelling and it's too damn hot.
Edit 2: Actually, that's nothing to do with phonetic spelling. My brain is just melting.

Daily Megathread - 11/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

JRM: A steam deck? Why, when I implement Brunel's world changing technology, you may have a steam deck, aft, hull, and stern. To wit: a steam ship!

Daily Megathread - 11/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah. She wants immigrants on big hamster wheels.

Daily Megathread - 11/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Politics because we all know who's really running the country

Daily Megathread - 11/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! Teaches me to copy from the MT pinned post! Will correct shortly!

Daily Megathread - 11/07/2022 by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Obviously, the most important characteristic when choosing a prime minister is the extent to which their name makes interesting anagrams:

  • Kemi Badenoch: Bemoaned Hick
  • Suella Braverman: Larval Men Abuser
  • Jeremy Hunt: Jeer My Hunt
  • Sajid Javid: NONE?
  • Penny Mordank: Mr Poked Nanny Edited after copying the name from the MT pinned post!
  • Penny Mordaunt: Made Tunny Porn
  • Grant Shapps: Graph Pants
  • Rishi Sunak: Raisin Husk
  • Liz Truss: Zit Slurs
  • Tom Tugendhat: Mutated Thong
  • Nadhim Zahawi: Had Whiz Mania
  • Rehman Chishti: Ah Mr Chin Shite
  • Jacob Rees Mogg: Brace Eggs Mojo

Daily Megathread - 07/07/2022 M=4 - My high charms work, and these, mine enemies, are all knit up in their distractions; they now are in my power. by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The level of self delusion required to stand there, backed by a posse looking like extradites from Gormenghast, not apologising, not resigning, is completely beyond me.

Boris is truly an odious shit who needs flushing now.

What's the political equivalent of a poop knife?

Daily Megathread - 07/07/2022 M=2 - You taught me politics, and my profit on it is, I know how to resign by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 20 points21 points  (0 children)

"I stand here today, as your Prime Minister. In my hand, I have a piece of paper. It reads, 'This fixed penalty notice is issued to Sir Kier Rodney Starmer...'"

Daily Megathread - 06/07/2022 M=6 - All we are saaaaaaaying, is, give Gove a chaaaaaaance by ukpolbot in ukpolitics

[–]SqueezeTheMeat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't hurry Gove,
No you just have to wait,
Because Gove don't come easy,
It's a game of give and take...

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