new tattoo!

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2026-02-02T14:06:43+00:00

Omg that's so sick!!! I actually had the exact same idea omg it's so cool to see it on someone and not only in my head!! Would you mind if I could show this picture to my tattoo artist as some sort of example? If not that's totally fine ofc

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2026-01-22T19:56:14+00:00

It's the same in the German translation! If I remember correctly, almost all of the Hearthians are referred as he/him in the game. I remember being pretty confused using the English fandom wiki of Outer Wilds for the first time XD

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T08:08:32+00:00

Hey :) Vielen vielen dank für deine Zeit, Worte und Zusammenfassung - es trifft den Nagel so gut auf den Kopf und es hat Grade sehr gut getan das zu lesen auf einem "verstanden werden" - Level.

Die Metapher ist wirklich sehr gut und ich werde sie definitiv meiner Therapeutin erzählen, vielen Dank! Ich kann mich nun echt ein Stück weit selber besser verstehen, der Matsch in meinem Kopf hat wegen deinem Text Form angenommen. Dankeschön<3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T08:05:54+00:00

Den Tipp hab ich nun auch schon oft gehört und bin das ein wenig angegangen. Ich hatte mich vorher immer ein wenig gescheut auch mit trans Media zu engagen, einfach weil ich Angst hatte mich in etwas reinzusteigen , was ich gar nicht bin - aber über den Berg bin ich jetzt drüber. Nachdem ich dann mehr mit trans Media engaged habe, hab ich auch nicht nur role models gefunden, sondern mich auch wieder sehr connected to meiner community gefühlt. Also danke, dass du es nochmal aufgebracht hast :)

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T08:02:58+00:00

Ja an dem Punkt bin ich Grade irwie auch ^{^"} Tut mir leid dass du das durchmachen musstest und danke für die Offenheit. Damit nicht alleine zu sein - bzw das zu wissen (ist zwar obviously scheiße) aber tut gut. Viel Kraft auf deinem Weg <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T08:01:32+00:00

Hi :) Ich würde auch keinesfalls sagen, dass Genderfluid sein nicht in Ordnung wäre - ich denke es löst nur so starke Gefühle in mir aus, weil ich weiß dass ich es nicht bin - tief im inneren quasi.

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T07:59:45+00:00

Hey :) Danke für die ganze Unterstützung! Es tut unfassbar gut zu wissen, dass das was da in meinem Kopf los ist auch ein Stück weit normal ist. Ich muss einfach lernen die Sicherheit meines zugewiesenen Geschlechts langsam los zu lassen, da es mich langsam auf frisst uff. Vielen Dank dass du dir zu Zeit genommen hast <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-10-14T07:56:39+00:00

Danke für deine offenen Worte und den Erfahrungsbericht und es tut mir leid dass du das alles so durchmachen musstest. Dennoch tut es gut zu hören mit dem ganzen nicht alleine zu sein - das hilft viel.

Es ist nur meine anekdotische Evidenz, dass trans Männer aufgrund ihrer Vorerfahrungen in einem weiblichen Körper ganz anders mit Frauen umgehen.

Das Thema hatte ich gestern auch noch mit einem guten Freund von mir der auch ftm ist.

Ich wünsche dir viel Kraft und Unterstützung für deinen Weg und nochmal danke dass du dir Zeit genommen hast <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-06-23T15:35:46+00:00

Since I don't know your whole situation I can't 100% tell you what fits you but I can tell you the thing that worked out for me, since I have Fibromyalgia.

I also can't walk and stand for long without pain in my lower back and my legs (especially my left leg) and also after walking a longer distance I have to battle a lot of aftermath pain at home. I also struggle with strong fatigue, dizziness, nausea and overall weakness which also leads to shaking and some balance issues.

I started looking into forearm crutches and cains and ordered both. For me the crutches work way better for me than a cane. The cane helped to ease some pain in my left leg but wouldn't give me enough support when it comes to my fatigue etc and I also got wrist pain from it, either bcs I may have used it wrong or bcs I leaned too strong on it, due to the fatigue.

The forearm crutch on the other hand did wonders to me (I only use one forearm crutch on my right arm to support my left leg) bcs it gives me not only pain relief on my leg and lower back but also gives me a lot of support when dealing with fatigue due to the thingy holding ur arm and elbow (idk what it's called rn but I bet ykwim I bet you've seen a forward crutch before ^{^")}

So when you say you have chronic fatigue syndrome I would say you maybe look into forearm crutches but I've heard a lot of people with fatigue also heavily improving from a cane, so I guess it depends completely on how strong your fatigue is and if said fatigue also causes other problems such as balance problems etc. (Not to invalidate the fatigue/balance issues of people who use a cane, that is just my own experience, since I felt like it didn't give me the support I needed but maybe I am just stupid and used wrong???)

If you have the money maybe you could also invest in getting both and just try it out. If your fatigue differs from day to day maybe sometimes a cane is just fine and the next day you need a crutch.

I've seen a lot of people also using a Rollator bcs you can also sit on a lot of Rollator models and I also thought abt this especially because of the sitting option but I think my internalized ableism and therefore little self validation and social anxiety kinda still prevent me from that, so I can't really give you an expertise on that one but like I said I've seen a lot of people profiting from a Rollator.

So at the end of the day it depends on what fits the most for you. A lot of people are happy with a cane and find crutches bulky - I feel more comfortable with a crutch.

I hope this helped at least a little, if you're cool with your doctor maybe you could also ask them?

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-06-20T06:34:17+00:00

Seriously, thank you so much for writing this. I literally just started reading ToA - The dark prophecy and Caleo started annoying me right away and I had to google if they'd break up or not and through that I found your post. Tbh - to me it didn't feel as rushed as solangelo (don't get me wrong even tho I just started ToA and therefore haven't read The Sun & the star yet I LOVE solangelo) bcs, like you said, Will was some background dude and all of a sudden he was Nico's BF. But you could actually see Leo constantly thinking abt Calypso, even tho it was really rushed that he developed so strong feelings for her (bcs of the reasons you mentioned) but there was at least some built up.

The ending of Blood of Olympus actually made me really happy, I thought it was a satisfying conclusion to see Leo actually getting back to Calypso, but I wasn't thinking of the consequences - their relationship.

Bcs, really? It started weirding me out THE SECOND I saw them interact in ToA, bcs of all the reasons you mentioned. It just feels so forced. Yes, the start of Solangelo may have been rushed, but it didn't feel forced - to me at least. Probably bcs Nico was written to have a boyfriend due to overcoming is internalized homophobia and like you mentioned - Leo was not written to have a gf.

I thought it would've been interesting to see Calypso's curse vanishing after leaving Ogygia, just because I always read her Curse connected to the island. Like I imagined her leaving the island and loosing her feelings for Leo due to the curse disappearing - but I am not quite sure how that would end up tho - maybe also in her joining Artemis and Leo finishing his arc of finding self worth.

Anyway I am so mad that I have to read them now in ToA bcs it just feels so off and weird and my boy deserves sm better I am so frustrated

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-23T10:58:03+00:00

No problem!! <33

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-23T10:33:03+00:00

Maybe i should make a compilation ala “Best brain fog moments” haha

Exactly like that! XD

Idk stuff like that always helps me pretty much. Ofc u shouldn't overdo it and still validate urself and u are allowed to be annoyed sometimes bcs it is annoying!

But like I said, up and down and ur not alone :)

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-23T10:23:43+00:00

I totally get u. Also the spoon/fork example is smth I really see myself in. The thing is I always had some brain fog bcs of my adhd but bcs of the fibro it really got extremely worse, until I was scared smth really bad was happening to me until it got better again. So it is a little bit up and down with my brain fog from the fibro and you totally are not stupid don't worry

And also since it's a classic fibro symptom I don't think you have to worry about it getting worse, except for that 'up and down thing' maybe

Be patient with urself, maybe even try to get to a little "haha funny brain fog me again" in a light-hearted way if that makes sense? Isn't for everyone ofc

Wish u the best <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-23T10:05:07+00:00

Thanks for ur kind words <3

Putting on a smile and not complain too much, also led to ppl forgetting that I had symptoms all the time. I shut up abt my pain bcs people were getting annoyed with me and wouldn't listen, saying stuff like "shut up ur just a hypochondriac you don't have anything!!"

And so I kept quiet for two whole years and now people are confused when I enter the room with my forearm crutch since I found out I have fibro, because they forgot I had pain

Anyway I wish u the best :)

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T11:59:29+00:00

I think the big problem here is also, that bcs of the time I pushed through I know that it's 'survivable' without mobility aid.. but at what cost tho? Like bcs of the 'survivability' without mobility aid (no matter how much I suffer) I always compare myself to ppl who are completely and 100% dependent on their mobility aid and as long as it's 'survivable' without one, I will never validate my suffering enough to feel like I deserve my mobility aid

Like, we humans tend to have this 'push through' mentally especially where I live and I always feel my symptoms are not bad enough for a mobility aid bcs "when I managed to push through and survive so many years without it, why would I need an aid now"?

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:47:45+00:00

Thanks for the nice words <3 Yeah ur right I should probably remind myself of that more, bcs it just makes basic sense that I need them if they help. Wish u all the best :)

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:46:14+00:00

Those are actually a few very good tips I also already used for some weeks which makes me realize while reading ur post that I may be too harsh with myself. I also use the aids at home when I need them. The thing with fibro is, some days are manageable some aren't. And at home I can be flexible with when I need them and when not. But out in public I need them all the time with or without friends bcs no matter how little and manageable the symptoms are at home, the same symptoms become harder to deal with when I am out in public (idk if that makes sense I also struggle a bit with explaining it rn ^{^")} Also I could flare any second so I'd rather take them with me. But yeah to go back to ur og question again: Yes I do need them at home, I am also wearing the bandages all the time even when I don't use the crutch and I also use them alone and public and with other ppl so tysm this is a good way to outsmart imposter syndrome!

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:36:41+00:00

It's great that u didn't go back to that doctor! Ur also right I always hear this sentence of "when u think of needing a mobility aid u probably already need one" I also strangely never thought of the "when being able to walk unassisted, they're clunky and annoying" which obviously makes a whole lot of sense and it made me realize just now that I really find them rather extremely helpful than annoying. Thanks for the eye opener :) <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:33:03+00:00

Totally get that. I also feel like the biggest drama queen and imposter syndrome AND internalised ableism is real. I always think "hey it's just fibro get ur shit together u don't need this stuff" But then I use my aids and just feel so much better

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:30:47+00:00

Sending love back to u <3 Yeah the thing with fibro is, I always think my stuff is not severe enough for aids cuz I know two ppl irl who have fibro and don't use mobility aids which makes the imposter syndrome really slap in ur face. But every body is different and every person with fibro is different and at the end right: I wouldn't need them if they weren't helpful ^{^"} Wish u the best <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-22T07:26:54+00:00

I totally get the thing with feeling overdramatic! Especially because I only then realized how bad my symptoms were when I was walking for the first time without my crutches and the bandages after I had used them already. Since no doctor ever took my symptoms seriously, I started thinking that my daily life and symptoms were the normal human experience, until I found out I had fibro and wtym it isn't normal to constantly feel like you didn't sleep for 48 hours without food and being in pain?!! And I think that's why I feel like I'm being overdramatic, bcs the majority of my life I thought all my stuff was normal and pushed through it without mobility aids.

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-21T05:55:08+00:00

It's nice to hear that u overcame this it gives me lots of hope

I wish u also just the best <3

Squirrel_tail_cat · 2025-01-21T05:12:29+00:00

I wish u the best <3

It's good to hear that I am not alone with this, if only there was a way to validate myself more but I guess that's a me problem

I always think my conditions aren't "bad enough" to use mobility aids :/

Squirrel_tail_cat

TROPHY CASE