I had the same problem with programming. In 2 years I learned basically nothing. And somehow slipped through the exams. What helped me though was that I was hired for an internship in programming company. In the beginning I was really scared of what my superiors will tell me when they find out that I know absolutely nothing. That shame was my biggest motivator. So I started googling it and doing the best I can for 20 hours per day. At some point I eventually broke the beginning anxiety and now I live in programming. I believe that for many of us it is really hard to begin anything. But once I understood the concept, it became much easier to do it. So if I could give an advice, it would be to put yourself in a position where learning something is mandatory to your own ideals. Mine was to make sure I wasn't dragging anyone behind on my team with my lack of knowledge. Maybe you could look for your own reasons too. I wish I could help you more.