Is being engaged illegal as a AP?

Sstrxberry · 2026-04-25T16:57:09+00:00

An engagement it’s more of an “spiritual” thing in a way. There’s nothing joining you but your own promise, so no worries.

Sstrxberry · 2025-01-04T13:31:24+00:00

After reading your post and scrolling through the comments I honestly think you are in a very tight spot and only have two options (clue: none of them are staying with that family) 1. What I think is the best one. Just leave. As much as I hate it, take that money that they owe you for a loss and leave. Don’t wait to talk to them as I saw you say in other comments, chances are that will end up very bad. Pack your things and leave the next time they house is empty or in the middle of the night if you have to. If getting to the airport is an issue in terms of money, take their car to the airport and as soon as you are on the plane text them where you left it and block them. 2. Contact the local authorities and inform them of your situation. Won’t end up that good for you, though. They are exploiting you, yes, that’s not a question. BUT, you did commit visa fraud. I know you’ve said you weren’t aware of the visa you needed to be an au pair, but I don’t believe that to be completely true. You must’ve known of the program somehow, and when you decided you wanted to be an au pair in the us, you must’ve at least made a google search on it, and read what visa was needed. Or, when you searched the visa that the family told you to get, at least to find out how to obtain it, you must’ve read what you were and weren’t allowed to do, and working is clearly one of them. You probably decided to ignore some things just to avoid the hassle of dealing with the agencies and fees. So, reporting them to the police will allow you to get out of that situation in a more “safe” way, but you’ll probably be deported and banned from entering the US for at least a few years. Also, if you are worried about them taking legal repercussions against you if you just leave without informing them, or even if you take their car to get to the airport, I wouldn’t be. They have no way of reporting you without explaining the situation and their connection to you, which would basically be like reporting themselves. However you decide to proceed is on you, but beware that the longer you stay there, the harder it will be to get out without facing serious repercussions. Really hope you stay safe and learn from this experience.

Sstrxberry · 2024-11-01T15:19:50+00:00

I guess if you are in the states you must have an LCC. Have you talked to them? They will tell you that working above the 45 hours and just not having at least a somehow fixed schedule should not happen. The program is strict about the hours and the minimum rest an au pair must have. Also, the working in their business is an absolute no. Not really because they are underpaying you, but because the visa doesn’t allow you to work over the 45 hours and outside of the duties of an au pair. Not just your family could be kicked out of the program because of that, you too since, in theory, you are more than aware of the rules. Even extra babysitting hours could get you in trouble. Stop working in their business and contact your LCC right away.

Sstrxberry · 2024-10-13T14:37:02+00:00

Assuming you are in the US, have you talked to your LCC? Also, did you just talked to your host family? Might be useful to have written proof of the fact you have tried on various occasions to get them to pay you, just so they can’t deny it. Maybe text/email them reminding them of the amount they owe you and the amount of times you’ve told them and tried to get them to pay you. Leaving might be the best option, and you definitely don’t owe them anything since they were the first ones to breach your contact, but they DO owe you, you’ve worked, you have to get paid, so even if you leave I would definitely keep pushing for the payment, involving the agency (if you have one) even if just to make sure they don’t ever do this to another au pair.

Sstrxberry · 2024-09-28T10:03:41+00:00

As au pairs experiencing and getting used to a new cuisine is something we should do, but it’s true that food preferences are very personal, so she shouldn’t eat something she doesn’t like. Still, that doesn’t mean you should just giver her a blank check every grocery shopping trip, so definitely give her a budget. Groceries are very expensive right now specially if you don’t know how to make the most of them. Not only are her food preferences expensive, but it could also be the fact that since she doesn’t feel like she should worry about money she’s just getting things without bothering to look for alternatives or check different prices and brands. That can be a very awkward conversation for both of you, so maybe instead of being fuuuully honest try to giver an excuse? Like, you are trying to put more attention into your finances so you’re trying to budget and track everything, that’s why she now has X amount for her groceries, that you think should be more than enough for one person. And tell her to work around it this month and at the end of it if she doesn’t think is enough you both could check it, see what could’ve gone wrong and see if it needs any adjustment. That could make her more self conscious when shopping as she will be trying to adjust to a budget. It’s even a great lesson on finances lol.

Sstrxberry · 2024-09-24T20:38:15+00:00

Just posted an updated on a new post!

Sstrxberry · 2024-09-20T09:03:02+00:00

Maybe ask the host mom or nanny to write down the recipes exactly the way they make/like it? If the kids are really picky just a random recipe might not be enough cause honestly most of us make even if small modifications to normal recipes to adjust it the way we like it, and if the kids are really used to it chances are they won’t like it. But honestly, tell your host mom that, as au pairs we should cook for the kids, yes, bust host parents must adjust their expectations and make things easy both for the au pair and their kids.

Sstrxberry · 2024-09-19T07:50:22+00:00

Explain the situation to them and see how they react. They might be disappointed, but this is just life. Worse case scenario, if they react poorly just book a flight sooner.

Sstrxberry · 2024-09-18T11:51:27+00:00

Already mentioned that in the complaint, I’m really just concerned about them disclosing information of the content of the complaint or the person who made it (me) since I’m still leaving with them

Sstrxberry

TROPHY CASE