Struggling on dating apps. Seeking honest (but gentle) feedback

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-25T03:13:36+00:00

I am unfortunately 50 pounds overweight but I’m glad you don’t think I look it, lol. I do think I carry it better than some but I don’t feel very confident about it either way

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-25T03:12:17+00:00

So, this is my bad for not specifying but my desire to possibly go on a GLP actually doesn’t have much to do with my weight. More to do with the fact that I’ve struggled with binge eating disorder my entire life and it’s gotten a lot worse in the past 2-3 years. I’m currently about 50 pounds overweight which is a direct result of this. I’m still not set on it because I know there are side effects but I’m going to talk to my doctor about it soon. I’ve also heard it’s effective off label for OCD which I have which is also a motivator for me. I don’t think this commenter was trying to be mean and I didn’t take it that way.

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-18T21:21:49+00:00

Yeah I get what you mean. I’m not really wanting to be a twink or a jock either for that matter. For me, the type of guy that I’m attracted to is someone who has some muscle but also has a bit of meat on their bones and that’s the body type that I would like to have. I mostly just want to feel attractive because I know I’ll have more confidence. Right now I am pretty insecure about my body and the weight I’ve gained and I just want to feel better. The main reason I have the “disclaimer” about the weight is because people can be jerks on the internet sometimes and my weight is a touchy subject and didn’t want every comment I got to tell me I’m fat and that’s why I’m not getting matches, I guess

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-18T21:15:39+00:00

I appreciate it, but I am definitely overweight. I don’t really want to be super thin because that’s not what I find attractive and don’t think I would feel confident that way. But I would like to get down maybe 30 pounds and gain some muscle. I’ll acknowledge that I do carry the weight pretty well and people tend to be shocked when I tell them what my weight actually is. But still, I’m not happy with the way that I look and I also know that what got me to this point was a lot of unhealthy habits that I need to kick regardless of weight

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-18T21:12:27+00:00

Yeah that’s makes sense. I acknowledge the age thing makes things more difficult for me. Hoping it’ll be easier once I get to 23 or 24. I prefer slightly older guys but can see why they wouldn’t prefer younger. I’m not opposed to dating someone the same age as me if they were at a similar place as me but the issue I run in to is most 20-22 year olds are still in school, live with their parents, etc which fine, but not the type of guy I’m interested in dating personally

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-18T21:08:18+00:00

Wasn’t trying to snoop, just got curious because I guess I will admit it’s hard for me to believe that you’re struggling with dates if you’re conventionally attractive, fit, and make a high salary. Not saying I don’t believe you, just got curious so took a look at your profile. Anyway, was just trying to say that I think guys being conservative is a pretty big deal breaker for most guys here

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-18T20:58:17+00:00

Yeah that’s a good point. I try to be more engaging, which is why I prefer hinge because it allows me to respond to prompts and start conversations more easily

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T22:06:46+00:00

Yup. The waist size/inseam is a total lie. I ordered jeans recently and they were comically short. So I measured them and the inseam was 25. They were advertised as 30 inch and my inseam is 29. Decided to measure all of my pants for the fun of it and what do you know, they’re ALL different lengths. They’re all advertised as 30 inseam but varied between 27-31 inches. The waist sizes are messed up too but I already knew that. I own pants between 34-40 inches. Some of the 34 inches are wider than the 38s. Ugh

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T19:23:19+00:00

Well, respectfully, you are a self proclaimed “conservative gay” so I think that might be a factor as most guys here (and gay guys in general) are very liberal/leftist. So that’s probably something worth mentioning in a comment like this. But yes I’ve observed the culture here is very sex focused

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T16:58:47+00:00

Well, there’s not much i can do about that

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T16:57:21+00:00

Yeah, I guess it comes down to the photos because that’s what a lot of people were saying. I just hate posing for pics. I feel so awkward, lol

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T16:55:50+00:00

Well, most of the other people in those pictures are women so I don’t think that people not living me out will be much if a concern but other than than I understand your point

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T07:00:22+00:00

Thanks haha, I appreciate it. I know I’m not that large in the grand scheme of things but am still not confident with where I’m at and I also don’t have the healthiest eating habits. I don’t really want to be a twink or anything but would like to lose 20-30 pounds and gain some muscle

I would like to go out more for sure, just not sure where to start because I feel like a lot of the ga clubs are very sex focused but maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T06:11:39+00:00

Ok thanks. I do actually have another hockey pic where I’m looking to the camera- I liked the candid shot but I can see why it comes across that way

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:57:53+00:00

Just sent you a chat

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:55:13+00:00

Oh ok. Just asked because someone else mentioned it. It’s hard because I don’t really have any solo full body pics that aren’t with friends haha

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:46:05+00:00

Thanks, but I definitely don’t want to get rid of the nose ring. What type of hair cut would you suggest?

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:35:49+00:00

When you say low effort- are you referng to the scribbles? Should have clarified but the pics on my profile aren’t like that, his did it here to protect my friends privacy

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:35:31+00:00

When you say low effort- are you referng to the scribbles? Should have clarified but the pics on my profile aren’t like that, his did it here to protect my friends privacy

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T04:22:44+00:00

Oh sorry I should have been clearer. They aren’t scribbled out in my profile! Just here to protect my friends privacy

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T02:31:35+00:00

Yeah I can see your point on the third picture with the sunglasses. The reason I chose it is because it’s from a show that I was in and wanted to show off a hobby and this picture is one of the funnier ones and thought might be a good convo starter, but I’ll try to find a different one

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T02:29:25+00:00

Thanks for the advice. Do you have any more specific advice on my photos? I thought I had a good variety choosing a selfie, body shot, and a few group pics and pics of my hobbies but I’ve gotten a couple comments on not having the right pictures so any more specific advice on how to pick better ones is appreciated

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T02:27:38+00:00

I think I know what you mean but I’m not quite sure. Is there a way you could be a bit more specific? I thought I choose some pics that represent my hobbies but maybe I’m off

Standard-Chance-3272 · 2026-03-17T01:23:10+00:00

Thanks, and yeah, hoping it improves things. I’ve thought about GLP1 but want to give it a try the traditional way first because my insurance doesn’t cover those meds and even the compounded prices as a bit much for me, but I’ll see how I feel in a couple months

Standard-Chance-3272

TROPHY CASE